Negative Stuff

Me Trying to Ward Off Depression

It's okay. I've helped my mom a lot this summer, and I...I went through like ten bins. Both Little Critter Houses, the PlayMobil bins, the little white drawer thingy, organizing all of that, the left side of the closet, my underwear and socks, and putting all that was in my dresser in cubicles. I've also gone through and rearranged my counter stuff.

I may not have driven, but I couldn't have driven myself even if I did get a license because I don't have a car.

I may not have studied Japanese, but I still remember a good chunk, and I had a few Japanese conversations with my peers. I still have a few weeks to study. Hopefully, the kanji quizzes will still be online. I'm also not the only one who's been slacking off. Considering that I'm one of the top students in my class, it'll be fine.

I've also been changing meds the past couple of months, and my grandpa died, so I have to give myself a bit of slack for that. I've been more depressed and tired because of those things.

And I deserve a break once in a while. I work nonstop during the semester, so it's okay to slack off a bit during the summer. Yes, I didn't get everything I wanted to do done, but I enjoyed my summer and still got SOME things done.

I've even gotten back into the habit of brushing my teeth every morning and night! That was something that's really been bothering me since college started because before then, I'd been really good about it and had great teeth. So that's a big weight off my shoulders.

I've also started that stupid Lose It app, so that took some time the past few weeks, too.

I've been out more recently, too. And I've been good about taking a shower every two days lately. Keep it up! It's okay.

You HAVE done a lot this summer. It may not feel like a ton in comparison to what else you wanted to get done, but you have to change your perspective. Rather than letting the guilt of what isn't done crush you, focus on what you've already accomplished and look forward to your next achievement. It's okay. Calm down. Relax. You've done fine. You don't need to hold yourself to such a high standard. You don't do this for her; don't worry about her. Do this for yourself. Work at your own pace. Everything will be all right.