Negative Stuff

Me Trying to Figure out Debates: Parents' Reaction to Different Gender Identity

Prof: How would you feel if you were a child, and your parents said "That goes against my beliefs, but I'll tolerate it."

Me: I think that it's on a scale. Like, I would classify my mom's response as that because it did go against her beliefs, but she said that she still loves me regardless. {which was different from what my peers were saying}

A peer that, if I understood correctly, doesn't identify as male or female: No, it's still detrimental.

Me: I'm not rejecting what you're saying. {I wish I'd said something more like "I'm not disagreeing with anything you're saying" or, ideally, "I agree with you, but..."} I'm just saying that although it's still bad, it's on a scale.

The peer: No, it's still detrimental.

Me: ???

Prof (probably trying to defuse the situation 'cause I think the person was getting upset with me, and I was starting to get a little frustrated): Okay, so what you're saying is that although it's still bad, it's still better than kicking someone out of the house for it.

Me: (processes) (inwardly: Sure, let's go with that.) Yeah.

Like wtf, why can't I just get across what I'm trying to communicate---

And I said it out of experience. My old friend who's transgender, he was fine with his one parent saying some gender-neutral thing like "my oldest spawn"; that felt like acceptance to him. I, also, felt that although my mom really didn't want me to trans (mostly out of concern), she would still accept whatever decision I made, and would love me all the same. So personally, I actually did think that - depending on where exactly it falls within the reaction scale and depending on how you look at it - it could be even a positive, but I was trying to not anger the person with my opinion. Apparently though, I still failed at that. But I think I'm getting better....