𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 || 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚

Self Harm

Tw: self harm.
Don't do it ok?

Suna sighed at what he told himself he wouldn't do anymore, it's been 2 years since he last set hands on a blade to harm himself. He clicked his tongue, disappointed at how weak he looked in the mirror with blood dripping down his arms.

"Get it together, it's just a few cuts, you're okay, I'm okay, everyone's okay."
He attempted to comfort himself.

Osamu would be back from the convenience store soon so he had to clean it up.

He started with the cuts, there were about 9 in total on his left arm. 2 of them were too deep and hurt more. Cutting himself would be a coping mechanism for all the stress he was going through. The house was clear of blades because of Suna's traumatic past with them, but he recently got more.

Halfway through cleaning his wound and some blood on the floor, Osamu came home at the worst time possible.

'Shit.'

He didn't have time to bandage his wounds. He didn't have time to clean up the bathroom. He quickly used the white bath mat, which was the worst idea ever, to cover the blood on the floor and grabbed some tissue, putting pressure on his arm and finding a black hoodie to cover all the cuts. He didn't want Osamu to be sad because of him.

"Hey Rin Rin"
Osamu greeted his husband.

"Welcome home"
Suna didn't give Osamu his usual welcome home hug and kiss which left him a little confused.

"You okay?"
Osamu asked, concerned.

"Oh, yeah, why?"
Suna walks towards him and opens a bento box with their dinner in it.

Osamu wanted to say Suna forgot to do something but figured he might be having a rough day and decided not to question.

They had a bit of small talk before Suna went back to doing the daily workouts the Raijins's coach wanted all players to do everyday during quarantine. Osamu didn't find out, well he sort of did but prayed it wasn't what he thought it was.

Osamu found the bath mat stained with a bit of blood and flipped it over, there were a few drips stained on the mat and some dried blood marks on the floor. Suna has been having nosebleeds lately so he thought that's what it was and cleaned it off. He didn't want to ask Suna if he cut again since he was scared it might trigger something in him.

He didn't get that suspicious until he found a blade inside their drawer.

Is Rintaro cutting again?...He wouldn't, right?...

Osamu took the blade and kept it with him in case Suna was really doing it all over again. He changed and to the living room where Suna was doing a few sit ups.

"Rintarou, is there something you want to tell me?"
Osamu asked.

Suna panicked a little and prayed Osamu hadn't found out.
"No. Why?"
He continued with his workout, pretending nothing was wrong.

"Go in the room when you're done, I wanna ask you something..."
Osamu really didn't want to but, it would be better if he found out earlier if Suna was going through something again. He didn't want him to end up in the hospital like last time.

Suna knew exactly what was wrong. Osamu probably found the blade. He finished his workout and went inside the room where Osamu was sitting on the bed, waiting.

Suna sat next to Osamu,
"Is something wrong?"

"Give me your arm."
Osamu was serious.

Suna gave him his right arm, the arm with no cuts at all. Osamu was rather relieved when he pulled up his sleeves to reveal nothing but Suna's pale skin.

Osamu breathed a sigh of relief and gave Suna a hug,
"I saw blood on the bathroom floor today, nosebleed again?"
He asked.

"Uhm, yeah, nosebleed."
Suna lied.

"Alright, drink more water okay?"

Suna nodded and they went to sleep. Osamu thought it was the end of it, yeah no it wasn't.

Around 4am in the morning, Suna's left arm started to hurt and the blood started oozing out, it stained through the black hoodie and onto their white bedsheets. There was a small patch of blood on the bedsheets by the time Osamu woke up.

"What the fuck?..."
Osamu rubbed his eyes and couldn't believe what he saw, the bedsheets on Suna's side were a dark shade of red and he obviously looked a little uncomfortable.

"Rin, baby, wake up"
He gently patted Suna's shoulders. The sharp pain on his arm allowed him to get up after Osamu's few attempts.

"What's wrong?..."
The brunette questioned.

Osamu grabbed Suna's right arm and realised the sleeves of it smelt of blood. Suna quickly pulled back and something in him snapped.

Blood...

"Suna. Give me your arm."
Osamu demanded. He wasn't joking around. Suna shook his head, scared. Osamu grabbed Suna's arm once again and forcefully pulled up his sleeve while Suna struggled to get away.

Osamu's heart sank to the bottom of his stomach at the sight of the other's arm.
"Rintarou..."
A few tear drops left Suna's eyes, he never wanted Osamu to find out.

"I'm sorry, please don't be mad, I'm s-"

"Rin! Why would I be mad?"
Osamu pulled the other into a hug. Maybe that's what he needed.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
He whispered.

"Stress."
Was all Suna could say as he choked on his sobs.

"How long has this been going on for?"
Osamu referred to the cuts.

"Started yesterday..."

"Alright, other than the blade in the bathroom, where else did you hide them?"

"..."

"Rin"

"Study table, nightstand."

"Promise that's all?"

"2 in my gym bag"

"And?"

"No more..."

"Okay"

Osamu let go of Suna and went to take all the sharp blades, wrapping them with a few paper towels and throwing them in the trash can. He then got alcohol swipes and bandages and went back to the room.

"Osamu, I'm sorry"

"It's alright, try your best not to do it anymore, talk to me next time"

"I'll try"

"Good"

The alcohol swibes stung his arms and they hurt. Osamu finished cleaning the wound and put some cream on top before wrapping it with bandages.

"You're not going to train for 4 days, I'll tell your coach for you"

"But I..."

"No buts, you're staying home and so am I"

"I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault, don't apologise"

After finishing, he planted a few kisses on Suna's arm before giving him a new hoodie. Suna slept on the couch for a bit while Osamu cleaned the sheets, then they went back to sleep.

For the rest of the week, Osamu wouldn't let Suna touch anything that was sharp. If Suna wanted to shave, he'd do it for him, he wouldn't let Suna help in the kitchen and would shower with Suna in case he did something stupid again in the bathroom.