Over All the Noises

Chapter 15- Afraid

    Nagsimula na ang tugtog at ang lahat ng nasa loob ay nagtilian nang lumabas na ang mga mga miyembro ng banda. Una ko agad hinanap si Shan at agad ko naman itong nakita. He was standing in front. And oh, he's the main vocalist.

    “Go, Shaaaaan!!” I shouted. He immediately look at my direction and smile. Narinig ko namang bumulong ang katabi ko tila nagrereklamo sa isinigaw ko.

    “Was he your boyfriend?” he asked curiously. Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya at ngumiti.

    “Plano ko pa lang sagutin pagkatapos ng concert nila,” sabi ko.

    And after that, he stop talking and clenched his fist. “Damn...I'm late,” he cursed.

    “Huh? May sinasabi ka, Sir?” tanong ko nang hindi ko marinig ang sinabi niya dulot ng hiyawan sa paligid.

    “No...nothing.”

    Nagkunot-noo ako at dahan-dahang tumango. He's looking at Shan intensely while sitting like a villain. I don't know if he's a fanboy or what, but it looks like he's not enjoying the scene. Panay lang siya lunok at basa sa pang-ibabang labi niya.

    “Anong nagustuhan mo sa kaniya?”

    Muli ko siyang nilingon. Bakit ba siya interesado? Well, maybe I should trust this guy, mukha naman siyang taga-hanga ni Shan pero hindi lang niya pinapahalata.

    “He’s a good-looking guy, charming, gentleman. Though he broke my trust for many times, nagbago naman siya. And also, isa sa nagustuhan ko sa kaniya. He never shouted at me. Hindi niya ako pinagsasalitaan ng masama. He respects my decision, and never force me to do something,” sabi ko na nakatingin kay Shan.

    He's sweating but enjoying singing. Napapangiti na lang ako tuwing tumingin siya sa akin. He was my dream man, at hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi mabago-bago ang nararamdaman ko para sa kan'ya.

    “And I hope I didn't hurt Kaden...” I looked at him, and he was also looking at me. “I’m not sure if he really likes me. But Shan told me that he do. Ayoko sa lalaking kagaya niya na ngangako pero hindi tumutupad. He told me that he'll prove me what true love is, but instead of that. I saw him with someone else, kissing while looking at my eyes.”

    “I felt betrayed. And he was also the ex of my best friend. They broke up because he like someone and it's me. Kahit pa pinilit lang siya ng kaibigan ko na makipagrelasyon sa kaniya, if he's matured enough...then he won't use her against me. I totally hate him. I hate his attitude, his personality, I hate that cheater.”

    “Aaminin kong nahulog ako sa kaniya, but my feelings aren't that deep. Medyo nasaktan ako no'ng nalaman kong pinaglalaruan niya lang ako. I can't fall for him because I know he'll just use me like how he used my best friend.”

    He didn't speak once again. Hindi ko na natuunan ng pansin ang kinakanta ni Shan dahil dito sa katabi ko. Panay lang ako sigaw ng 'Go, Shan!' pero ang totoo ay hindi ko na maintindihan ang kinakanta niya.

    I gotta think, why this person was interested about Shan. He acts so strange, and it feels something that I can't explain. Nakayuko lang siya habang panay ang buntong-hininga.

    “You feel lucky?” he asked once again.

    “Kay Shan? Oo, naman,” sagot ko. “Kung may kakayahan nga lang akong hulaan ang mangyayari sa kasalukuyan ay gagawin ko para makita ko ang buhay namin ni Shan,” sabi ko. “I want him to be mine forever, not just this time...but for lifetime.”

    Should I really trust him? Kanina ko pa kasi nahahalatang sobrang interesado niya sa tingin ko kay Shan. He really wants to know what I thought about him. Do I know him? ’Cause I have some instinct that he's familiar.