𝘐𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵

𝘛𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺-𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦.

𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

Angry and tired, I reached our house, wanting nothing, except my girlfriend and her tranquil presence. 

"Where are you going? Why are you crying, piccola?"- I asked, tense and stressed out even more as I saw her teary eyes, shaking physic and pale, comely face. 

"Celest, don't be quiet. What's wrong?"- I coaxed, my nerves on the edge as it is, and sighed, running my hands over my face as my tone came out too harsh, making her cry even more. 

I approached her and wrapped her quivering frame in my arms, utterly all over the place from the baffling, tough, complicated tornado of emotions.

"My auntie died."- she whispered through hysteric tears, everything stilling for us. 

"I have to leave."- she said soundlessly in my chest, clutching my biceps gently as I glanced aside, taut and edgy.

It's been a hard night, my rage is high and this snapped the tiny strings of everything that happened.

𝘊𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

"Then go."- he said in a tone that I am no longer used to hearing from him. 

"Sandro."- I spoke pleadingly, needing him by my side because I cannot take it on my own. 

I cannot bury my only, my last family myself. I won't survive it alone. I won't handle it alone. 

"What?! What do you expect me to say, Celest? You were drugged mere hours ago, I had a shitty night and now what do you expect me to do?!"- he snapped harshly, pushing me away, my heart crumbling in pieces as I watched the coldness in his eyes, the coldness that hurt like billion knives stuck in my heart.

"Go to London."- stated Alessandro angrily, my eyes full of tears that hurt every ounce of my soul. 

"I will be back, don't push me away, I am begging you."- I pleaded desperately, not wanting to lose us, not wanting to let go of him. 

"Go to that fucking London, Celest. There is nothing to say or do. You are leaving and face the fucking truth: you won't return! That's the reality, isn't it?!"- he said, opposing to my touch, his eyes full of the darkest storm of emotions. 

I shattered. 

I shattered because of so many things, broken and lost in ways I never knew it is possible. 

𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

Everything fucking hurt. 

It hurt so fucking much, so fucking rawly and agonisingly. 

Nothing mattered to me any longer. 

The only good in my life is gone.

Life turned into a pit of fucked up darkness and haze as I hit the mirror, my anger and hurt mixing into the most dangerous, baffling storm. I smashed the vase with flowers off the damn dresser - white peonies: her favourite. 

Everything here will remind me of her, forever and always - something I don't think I can take.