𝘐𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺-𝘰𝘯𝘦.

𝘊𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

It feels surreal. Too easy to be true.

Sunny and very warm weather outside with not even one cloud in the perfectly blue sky. No alarm at 4 AM reminding me to get up and go to work. Quiet, gentle morning and a big, comfortable, warm bed. His black T-shirt on me and his spicy, compelling, irresistible scent all over me. 

For once I feel safe and comfortable.

But even though this feels good, so-so good, I couldn't allow myself to just stay in bed, at least for another 5 minutes. 

Tomie must be awake by now, he always eats within a few minutes after waking up, and I am yet to find Sandro. 

I got up, my heart beating faster as I took in my surroundings. 

Everything is the exact way we left it.

As spotless as I remember, his laptop in its usual place, my favourite bag in its usual place, the pearly white blanket that he used to tuck me in every time we spent time on a balcony, one of our favourite pictures of us: the first time we baked together, his favourite brownies - everything is the same and it warmed my heart in ways I have never thought I will feel again. 

I entered the bathroom, smiling softly to myself as I saw a fresh tube of extra minty toothpaste and electric toothbrushes, just like the ones we used to have: his - black and my - rose gold. Every single product I used before - from makeup to skincare - is here, new and untouched. My favourite hairbrush is in its usual place right next to the silver pin I used before showering.

I went downstairs once I was ready, unprepared for the sight that awaited me in the kitchen. 

Alessandro is holding our son protectively, playing with him lovingly while making something. Toffee is eagerly watching the two of them, wiggling his tail merrily and excitedly. 

The sight is too beautiful to be real, but it is very real and very much in front of me.

A quiet sob escaped from me, catching their attention. 

Toffee barked loudly and dashed to me, tears rushing down my face as he immediately recognised me, licking my hands and face as I crouched down to his level, hugging and patting him lovingly. 

"Hi, Toffee."- I whispered shakily, smiling through tears of happiness as I took in how much he grew up and changed. 

He was just a tiny puppy when it all began and now he is so big and cute. 

Once Toffee calmed down, he laid down peacefully, now all of my attention is on the 2 men of my heart. 

"Good morning, gattina."- said Sandro warmly, gulping and glancing away for a brisk moment to prevent himself from looking at my body.

His white, silk shirt on me - something he used to love and encourage, something that I don't think changed, not when he took such a deep breath.

That's when I knew he is trying, working on himself and changing his way for himself, me, our son and us.

The old Sandro would make a lush compliment by now, touch me and kiss my body in every place he could, if not more: take me on that marble island.

Now he is keeping himself at bay, not looking anywhere and initiating anything. He isn't even counting on anything. 

"Good morning."- I spoke softly, gently cupping his cheek and standing on my tip-toes, smiling as he waited, seeking my permission, demonstrating patience he has never shown signs of.