Our exquisite, tranquil and sweet honeymoon ended on November 5th and we are back in Italy, in Rome.
I don't have the right words to explain how much that honeymoon means to me, how many things it changed in the most pleasing way imaginable and what a special place in my heart it will hold forever.
Our cosy home awaited us, spotless and beautiful, and Toffee was the first one we met upon our arrival. It took us the whole weekend to settle down and get used to the time, but now, on Monday, we are back on track, the happiest we have ever been.
My father-in-law took Tomasso for a playdate, then we will drive to them for dinner. Nothing seemed wrong, but God, I was the happiest up until Sandro told me he wants to take me to the headquarters today.
I still am very happy, even excited, but God, the amount of stress my mind is coming up with is nerve-wracking.
What if I do or say something wrong? What if I don't know something and embarrass myself? What if people don't accept me in the team and I will be an outsider? What if I misunderstand something and get in trouble?
I took a deep breath, examining the 10th outfit option on myself, all of a sudden unable to find attire fit for such a significant occasion.
I showered with extra routine, mortified of looking or smelling bad. My long, black hair is styled in loose, bouncy, silky curls - seemingly good, but what if that's just my imagination? My makeup is really simple and neat, nothing extravagant and bright. I got my manicure and pedicure done, keeping it all classic and elegant, but my mind is troubled by doubts.
But the biggest concern is my dress. I no longer think it is suitable for such an important day: what if it is too tight, too short, black is not a good choice, shows off too much?
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I sighed heavily, tears brimming in my eyes, and took the first heel off, my hands starting to shake.
"Gattina."- spoke my husband calmly, his velvety voice husky and rich as he approached me, gently stopping me from taking the second heel off.
"I really shouldn't come. It's a bad idea, I will just ruin everything."- I almost whispered, scared to mess things up for him.
"What if I step on someone's foot with my heel? Or don't know something? God, what if I embarrass you or ruin your reputation?"- I rained him with questions, suffocating with tears at the last thought.
If I mess up his work or reputation, I will never forgive myself.
If I harm his business, which he built from scratch with so much passion, hard work, dedication and patience, I will never be able to look at him without feeling gut-wrenching guilt, embarrassment and misery.
"You could never be embarrassing, bad or anything of that kind, mia piccola. You are the only person I trust my business with, I want you in it and I have never been more confident in my decision. I am dying to work alongside my breathtaking wife and admire her success and prosperity."- said Sandro, lovingly cupping my face and kissing my tears away.
