𝘐𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺-𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯.

𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.    

A week passed by. 

A week of pure paradise. 

Things are so goddamn good, too good to believe that this is a reality and not some beautiful dream. 

Celest and I are in heavenly relations, things have never been so good and sweet between us. This is the type of relationship she deserves and I will do all I can to make this a forever type of life for her, me, and us: different kinds of dates every night, sweet gestures of care and love be it as simple as breakfast in bed, flowers and gifts for no reason, cook for her, take her on walks and stargazing just because it makes her so happy, make sure we never run out of her favourite sweets and biscuits, bake with her just for fun, give her attention without her having to even think of seeking it and countless other seemingly basic, but beyond valuable moments that make up that perfect life I want us to always have. 

Tomie and I are inseparable by all means: whenever I go, my tiny universe goes with me. I am more confident when it comes to taking care of our son and feel more comfortable with being one on one with him: I put diapers on him correctly on my own, I am more familiar with the types of clothes he wears and how to dress him for different types of weather, I am way better at bathing him without any help and I know his morning and nighttime bathtime routine by heart now. 

In between all of that, I work on myself, starting with my current biggest problem: sleep. 

It is hard as fuck, I still get nightmares about my mother and little brother dying by my side, but I try for myself, my fiancée, our baby boy and our future. 

Celest is by my side every single time I try to sleep or nap: she is tightly wrapped in my arms, her slender fingers run through my hair or she rubs my back, my face is nuzzled in her neck and there is no distance between us - that's the only way I will ever try to sleep. I need her and she knows it: she soothes me to sleep and takes care of me when I am at my most vulnerable by her side, she doesn't pressure me and it makes me more eager to try more and harder. In return, I do my best to stay if I get nightmares and try to open up about them - something I have never ever done till now. I do not leash out, quit or ruin my progress and I am slowly getting used to talking about my feelings, but only with her - she is the only person I trust so much, enough to show her my rawest, deepest, darkest scars and hurt. 

It is still new to me, but it feels good to change in such a positive way, to notice the changes in me, to know and hear from my beloved woman that she sees my changes, supports me, loves me and is proud of me. The more time passes, the better I feel about the possibility of me becoming the husband Celest deserves and a dad our baby boy is worthy of. 

𝘊𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

"Gattina?"- said Sandro, entering the living room with a cup of coffee in his hand. 

"Sì, mio paradiso?"- I replied with a smile that he returned, leaning on the doorway, gazing at me lovingly. (Yes, my heaven?)

I have been learning Italian intensively for a week now and I am progressing immensely thanks to his help: he talks to me in Italian, names random things in Italian, watches movies in Italian with me and always helps me with whatever I struggle with, be it grammar or vocabulary. 

"Who bought the milk, mia cara?"- asked my love, drinking coffee, and I put my notepad with my Italian notes down, sitting up on a sofa. 

"Nobody, my love. We don't have any."- I replied surely, tucking a strand of my raven hair behind my ear.