𝘐𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵

𝘛𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺-𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳.

𝘊𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.

Aching heart and torn into pieces soul bled. My trembling, despondent and shattered self and my bloodshot red, watery eyes watching the gravestones of my family: my mum, my dad, my uncle and my aunt. 

Alone. 

I am alone. 

Nobody is here, except me. 

"Why?"- I almost whispered, exhausted and downhearted glancing up at the dark, grey sky, not understanding why it has to be me. 

I don't believe in good anymore. I don't have any reason why to believe in anything any longer. 

There is nothing in this life for me. 

My world is broken and I have utterly nothing left.

I bit my quivering lip, wiping away the never-ending trail of tears, sobbing quietly as my mind clouded with a question: what's next. 

What will I do when I leave the graveyard? Who is there for me? What awaits me? How will I pay off the gigantic, mortifying debt? What will happen with the bakery and the house? 

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

Bloody, shattered mirror. A broken vase, water with a tint of red is pooling on the marble floor, peonies are good for nothing now. Dreadful silence, the smell of cigarettes and heavy, dark tension can be sensed for miles from here. 

His appearance isn't any better. 

Stubble that is nearly a beard, wrinkled as fuck shirt, scratched knuckles with blood traces. He reeks of alcohol and smoke, his black under eyes and taut physic are concerning.

"Penso che tu ne abbia avuto abbastanza."- I stated strictly, taking away a nearly empty bottle of whiskey from my brother, worrying as I saw 4 empty bottles. (I think, you had enough.)

Fuck, how long he was here?! 

"Vaffanculo, Massimo."- said Alessandro, grabbing another bottle of whiskey, my eyes falling onto 1 empty cigarette package. (Fuck off, Massimo.)

"Alessandro, ferma subito questo spettacolo per bambini. Che cazzo è successo? Perché cazzo stai bevendo come se non ci fosse un domani?!"- I said in concern, taking away the bottle from him, confiscating cigarettes from him right after, ignoring the glare. (Alessandro, stop this toddler show now. What the fuck happened? Why the fuck are you drinking like there is no tomorrow?!)

"Se n'è andata! Cosa volete sapere? Se n'è andata e non tornerà più!"- he snapped, his tone is so angry, but also so vulnerable. (She is gone! What do you want to know!? She is gone and won't come back!) 

The vulnerability that his tears confirmed.

My brother is crying. 

Fuck. 

"Lei è in quella cazzo di Londra e io sono qui. Abbiamo litigato, ho aumentato il mio tono con lei, stava piangendo ed era troppo dannatamente emotivo." - said harshly Alessandro, glancing down, hiding tears from me. (She's in fucking London and I'm here. We argued, I raised my tone with her, she was crying and it was too fucking emotional.)

"Sua zia è morta."- he said heavily, erasing every gentle word I was about to say. (Her aunt died.) 

"Voglio sentire una ragione decente per cui sei qui, a bere e fumare senza sosta, invece di stare con Celest a Londra, dandole le cure e il conforto di cui ha dannatamente bisogno in questo moment."- I stated seriously, needing to talk sense into my small brother, who knows the answer to my question. (I want to hear a decent reason why you are here, drinking and smoking non-stop, instead of being with Celest in London, giving her care and comfort that she needs so damn badly right now.)

He has known this answer for a long time now and if he doesn't realise it now, he will lose the only woman, who has ever and will ever love him this much, this devotedly and this selflessly. 

𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰'𝘴 𝘗.𝘖.𝘝.

"Io la amo." - I spoke, my eyes shutting close as I soaked up my words, admitting to myself feeling that I am so fucking scared of. (I love her.) 

"Ho discusso con lei perché ero, e sono ancora, così dannatamente spaventato di perderla."- I uttered, guilt and heavy, gut-wrenching feeling overwhelming me. (I argued with her because I was, still am, so damn scared of losing her.) 

"Non credo che la perderai a causa di qualche discussione, lei ti ama troppo per lasciare che una cosa del genere si metta tra te e lei. Ma sicuramente puoi perderla se non risolvi questo problema e se non dichiari il tuo amore per lei adesso."- stated Massimo, my world crumbling down as I came to my senses. (I don't think you will lose her because of some argument, she loves you too much to let something like that get in between you and her. But you definitely can lose her if you don't fix this and profess your love for her now.)

"Cazzo."- I muttered, dashing out of the bar, grabbing the first car keys I got my hands on. 

I am a fool. I fucked up so badly and I need to fix my mistakes. 

My hands gripped the steering wheel, everything in me tense and wrecked as all I did was hope and pray that I am not too late, that she is still mine and I still have her heart. 

Maybe, I wasn't too late. 

But life had a different plan for me, for her and me.

Loud crash. 

Fire. 

Blood.

Sirens. 

Ti amo, mia bellissima cara. Sempre e fino alla fine dei tempi.

(I love you, my beautiful darling. Always and until the end of times.)