I walked in from Jahseh's to see my mom waiting in the living room.
When I walked in she looked up at me with a serious face which confused me.
"Where were you?" She asked me, her accent lacing her words.
I shrugged "I just went walking around, I needed a breather" I told her and she shook her head at me.
"I'm going to ask again-" she spoke but before she could say anything I spoke.
"I just told you I was walking" I argued with her making her snap her head up in my direction.
"Mija I'm not going to ask you again, where were you?!" My mom yelled at me, backing me into a corner.
"I told you mamí" I answered, trying to move but she moved with me.
"You're lying, I can smell him on you" she told me and I shook my head.
"Tell me the truth please" she told me making me sigh.
"I did ma" I told her and she shook her head.
"I know you're lying, you were with Jahseh, tell me" she spoke making me continue to shake my head.
She stared at me for a moment which made me look down and that was all the answer she needed.
"Why would you do that to yourself mija? You are better than that you don't need him" she told me and I nodded.
"I know but I missed him. I won't go over there again" I told her and she nodded.
She sighed and moved away from me, walking away.
"If he hurts you this time Amia I'm sending him to jail" she told me before finishing her walk upstairs.
Hurt me again? I don't think so, I don't even know when I'll see him again. I don't think he wants to see my anymore, I might've changed too much for him.
I know he doesn't like being talked back to and I continuously did that.
I don't know I feel like somethings different about my feelings for Jahseh but I still love him. I'm just not as scared of him anymore and I know he'll leave me so I don't work hard so that it doesn't happen.
I sighed and decided to go ahead and go upstairs too, turning off all of the lights downstairs before going upstairs and laying down.
It's still a little hard sleeping without Jahseh but I make it through, mostly because if it gets really bad I'll just sleep with an old shirt he gave me.
I kinda wish we were together again but I can't shake the controlling that he continuously does and if I don't listen everything goes bad.
I don't miss that but I miss his cuddles and buying me stuff that he wanted me to have.
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