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I'd given up on getting away from Jahseh and being myself. He told me my only way to get away from him and I didn't take my chance, I couldn't.
I didn't even have enough courage to kill myself how was I going to kill him?
It doesn't matter to me now that he doesn't want me leaving, I have nothing to leave for, nothing to live for. I've been kicked out of school, no place to stay but here. There's no point in me leaving.
I just wish Jahseh understood that the way he craves me and treats me isn't love but he doesn't.
In his eyes it's all out of love and that just lets me know even more that he needs help. Maybe we'd be good if he had it.
I turned over to look at him, watching his breathing.
I moved closer to him, moving the hair that he had on his face out of the way which made him move a little.
I continued to mess with his body, I mean I can't sleep anyway.
"Stop Amia" he mumbled making me look at his face again but I ignored him.
It had been a couple days since I cut him and he hadn't took the bandage off. I crawled over him and began to take it off making him groan.
"What are you doing?" He asked me, sitting up a little.
"Taking your bandage off" I told him making him huff.
"Why aren't you sleep?" He asked me and I shrugged.
"I'm not sleepy, I've been sleep all day" I told him and he nodded, yawning.
"We'll stop fucking with me I'm sleepy" he told me and I shrugged.
"Go to sleep then I have to entertain myself" I told him.
He sighed but stayed how he was, letting me take the bandage off. Once I took it off I seen he needed a new one because this one was nasty.
"Jahseh why haven't you changed it?" I asked and he shrugged.
"I didn't care about it" he told me.
"It's an open wound you should care" I told him making him scoff.
"I don't know why you care, you wanted to kill me" he told me with an attitude.
"I didn't want to kill you, if I did I would've done it" I told him, shaking my head.
"Then what the fuck you call it?" He asked, sitting up on his elbows.
I sighed and got off of him "I was just trying to scare you I didn't mean to cut you" I told him and he tilted his head at me.
"Scare me?" He asked with chuckle.
"I'm not scared of you Amia or dying" he told me making me furrow my eyebrows.
"But you're scared of me and dying" he spoke again, looking up at me.
I shook my head at him "I'm not scared of dying" I told him making him nod.
"But you're scared of me?" He asked making me twist my lips.
I'm not necessarily scared of Jahseh, he's a human there's nothing to be afraid of there. I'm scared of things he can and will do to me.
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