I sighed as I sat at the end of my bed with Jahseh, still trying to calm myself.
"You know this works better if you talk" he told me making me look over at him.
I shook my head and looked down "I've never been that scared before and they recorded me. I don't know what to do" I told him as I began to run my hands down my legs.
"That's the second time I couldn't protect myself from someone hurting me. I should be able to do something and I couldn't do anything either time" I told him before I started to cry.
He rubbed my back and pulled me into him as I continued to cry.
"I can protect you" he told me and I shook my head.
"I need to know how to do it myself" I told him making him nod.
"I get what you are saying but you don't really have a choice anyway, I want to protect you" he told me and I nodded.
I heard the front door open making me look up at Jahseh. He only shrugged at the thought of my parents being here.
"Your room door is open" he told me and I nodded.
I stayed rested on his shoulder as my mom walked up the stairs. As soon as she came upstairs she stopped at my room and looked in at me and Jahseh.
"Oh hi guys, I thought y'all were partying" she told us and we nodded.
"Yeah well it got boring too fast" he told my mom.
She nodded and looked at me before walking into the room.
"You okay hija? Your face is red, you've been crying?" She asked me and I nodded making her immediately look over at Jahseh.
"I didn't do it, there was a problem at the party" he told her making her eyes widen.
"What happened?" She asked with concern in her voice making Jahseh look at me.
"I-It was nothing big these girls just were messing with me" I lied and she nodded.
"Okay well I'm going to wash up. You two want pizza tonight?" She asked and Jahseh shrugged.
"I don't mind" he spoke and she nodded before walking out.
Jahseh looked over at me "why didn't you tell her?" He asked.
I shrugged "I don't want her to worry about me anymore than she has since the Isaiah incident" I told him and he nodded.
I could tell by his face that he had drifted off from what I was saying. I don't know why though.
"What's wrong?"I asked and he just shook his head but I could see on his face that he was obviously lying to me.
"Did I do something?" I asked and he shook his head.
I nodded and just looked down because he obviously doesn't want to talk about it but it's upsetting me.
"You like me Amia?" He asked making me look up at him.
He was still not looking at me but instead at his hand that he had broken.
"What do you mean?" I asked, not wanting to get the wrong idea.
"You know what I mean" he spoke sternly making my cheeks burn.
"I-I mean...." I spoke softly, trailing off.
He soon after grabbed my face and looked down at me, looking me in my eyes "it's a yes or no" he told me making me nod at him.
"Yeah" I told him and he nodded.
He let me go but stayed beside me "I wanna be with you" he told me making me heart start to race.
I didn't want to tell him no but the yes couldn't come out my mouth because I was scared.
He sighed and stood up "Ight I'm leaving" he told me making me snap back and grab his hand.
"Don't leave" I told him and he shook his head and took his hand from me.
"I'm not going to let you play with my feelings" he told me before he started to walk again.
"I'm not playing with your feelings I'm just..." I trailed off again, sighing.
He continued to walk away from me until I heard the front door close making me start to cry. I didn't want him to leave me I just couldn't say yes right now.
I closed my room door and got under my covers deciding to just sleep the night away. This was too much for one night. I cried louder as I thought about it and held myself.
As I cried someone opened the door but I didn't look from under the covers. I only quieted my crying.
"Why are you crying mija?" My mom spoke making me look from under the covers and cry more.
"Jahseh is upset with me so he left" I told her and she sat in front of me.
"Why is he upset?" She asked.
"He said I'm playing with his feelings" I told her and she nodded.
"I see it in your face that you're in love hija" she spoke making me put my head down.
"Why don't you express that to him?" She asked and I shook my head.
"I'm scared" I told her and she nodded.
"Things are scary in life sweetie but they can turn into the best things on earth" she told me and I nodded.
"Give Jahseh a chance" she told me before walking away.
I nodded at what she said and picked up my phone to call Jahseh only for it to go straight to voicemail. I furrowed my eyebrows and went to his Instagram to see he just posted on his story so I text him but it didn't deliver.
He blocked me? Already?
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