I laid on Jahseh's chest, listening to his heart. My mind raced, thinking about the notes I seen earlier. I mean I knew Jahseh had his own problems, he has to in order to claim to love and protect me and then turns around and hurts me, but I didn't know they were that bad.
The time that I thought I was away from him he was taking notes on me. Just to get around me and start hitting me.
It kind of made me feel bad for him. Whatever is going on in his head isn't good for me or him. I sat up a little feeling him grip my side.
I sighed and laid my head back on his chest.
It's hard sleeping with him now, usually I go to sleep most of the day because I'm sad and bored but going to sleep with him at night is almost impossible for me now.
I'm afraid he'll do something to me.
Hearing his breathing slow back down I started to get out of his hold again. Once I was out I went into the bathroom to start shower water, hopefully it helps me sleep.
I stripped out of my clothes, making sure not to pay myself any attention in the mirror because I couldn't handle it right now. Most of my bruises should be healed or close to it but I have a few new ones.
Stepping into the shower I let the water run down the front of my bed before turning to the back.
In the mist of me washing myself I heard Jahseh sit up from his sleep, breathing heavy. Fuck I hope he doesn't flip his shit.
My body is wet and I'm naked this is a very vulnerable place to get me. I stayed silent, listening for his footsteps. I wasn't surprised to hear them coming to the bathroom, just scared.
"Why'd you leave?" He asked me, coming into the bathroom.
"I couldn't sleep" I told him, sticking my head out of the curtain.
It's crazy that he doesn't sleep unless I'm beside him but I can't sleep because I'm beside him.
"Amia" he called making me look out the curtain again.
"What were you doing on my phone earlier?" He asked me.
"Playing the game" I told him but he tilted his head at me before walking closer to the shower.
"What else?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Nothing" I told him and he nodded.
"Just seemed like you left something when I started coming towards you" he told me and I shook my head.
I'm not telling on myself, he can't prove that I was on anything else but the game.
He opened the curtain a little and looked at me "I want you tell me the truth" he spoke making my heart race.
He's really pushing it.
"I am" I lied again before I felt his hand in my hair.
Before I could say anything he tugged me out of the shower.
"No!" I screamed, trying to get his hand off.
"Tell me the truth Amia" he told me.
"It was just your notes" I told him and he nodded.
"What did you see?" He asked me, letting my hair go so I bawled myself up because I was naked and uncomfortable.
"Can I at least get a towel first?" I asked and he nodded, giving me my towel that was hanging up.
I wrapped myself in it before looking up at him "I didn't see anything" I told him which was believable, I mean I haven't been acting different.
"I don't believe you" he told me making me sigh.
"I'm telling you the truth" I told him and he scoffed.
He squatted down to me and moved my hair out of my face making me flinch.
He shook his head at me "you probably think I'm crazy."
I just stared at him, hoping he didn't hit me for lying.
"Do you?" He asked me and I shook my head.
"No."
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