I watched Jahseh as he slept wanting so badly to hurt him the way he does me but he'll wake up. Besides that I don't have the heart to hurt him that way.
I scoffed to myself and got up from the bed, going downstairs and sitting in the dark living room. I wonder what he did with my phone, he hasn't given it back to me, actually I've just completely not seen it and it's been maybe 2 weeks.
"Why you leave the room?" He asked me, rubbing his eyes by the stairs.
"To think" I told him and he nodded.
Looking over his body my mind fluttered with ideas on what I could do to him.
I think I'm losing it, I've never thought about hurting anyone before but Jahseh was pushing it. I've done nothing but love him and in return I get bruised and told what to do about everything.
"Why you looking like that?" He asked and I shook my head.
"You're driving me crazy" I told him and he tilted his head at me like he was fucking confused.
I sighed "I don't want to be controlled Jahseh I've told you that from beginning but you don't care and this time you lied to me and said you wouldn't be like. Well you didn't lie you changed but it's worse and I just can't" I told him beginning to cry again.
He walked up to me making me back up but he pulled me into a hug anyway.
"No get off" I told him but he didn't care and continued to hug me.
Jesus I hate this man so much.
"Jahseh please get off of me" I spoke, putting all my strength into pushing him off but he still wouldn't move and it was frustrating me.
"Oh my god I don't want you touching me" I told him but he still wouldn't move.
I pushed at him again, getting my arm out this time so I got to really push him before standing up and trying to get away from him but he just kept coming.
"Get the fuck off of me!" I screamed at him, hitting his chest which just made him hold my wrist and press me against the wall.
"Calm down" he told me like I'm the one always doing this shit.
I shook my head "get off of me" he told him, trying my hardest to push him away but it wasn't working even a little this time.
"Stop and calm down" he told me and I shook my head.
"Stop talking to me like I'm the crazy one Jahseh it's you! I swear to god I hate you so much!" I told him and he nodded still holding my wrist.
"Let me go!" I yelled at him and he shook his head making my angry tears fall more.
I laid my head back on the wall and tried my best to stop but thinking about it just pissed me off more.
"Jahseh just let me go" I told him but he didn't answer and it felt like he grabbed me tighter.
I shook my head and cried more as my breathing sped up "why are you treating me like I'm crazy?!" I asked and he chuckled.
"Cause you are acting crazy right now" he spoke.
"Because you keep fucking with me! You keep doing shit to me! Then you turn around and act like I'm insane!" I yelled at him before trying to get out of his hold again.
"Let me go!"
"I'm not letting you go until you calm down" he told me and I shook my head.
"Let me go now Jahseh! Right now!" I yelled making him shake his head this time.
"Calm down first."
"Fuck you! I hope everything you've ever done to me fucks you up in the future."
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