Marked by Crime Rivalry Book2 [✓]

P61

ONCE again, Teresa was in the sky blue painted room sitting in front of Nala who was sitting in a chair across from her, dressing professionally with curls in her hair.

This time, it wasn't Luciano's therapy session but hers. Her legs were crossed, her hands in her lap as she spoke of the recent events that happened yesterday. How Luciano gave her such a romantic setting and scene. How he was being thoughtful and sweet and loving. As well as sleeping in bed together but she did withhold the explicit details and briefly explained their intimacy.

When she finally finished, Nala asked, "So how does all of that make you feel?"

Teresa dreaded that question. After all, she's supposed to be ecstatic and completely grateful for what they shared yesterday and she was grateful, but that was only on the surface, still, in the back of her mind, she was being tortured.

And when her smile began to falter slowly as her eyes lowered to the floor, Nala saw that too. "Great you know? But...guilty to" She answered and her hands slid down her lap.

"Why?" Nala asked again and Teresa groaned. Sometimes she wished a therapist's tactic wasn't to ask so many questions. "Because..." She huffed. "Luciano told me he was doing it because of my need for attention"

Tesoro if this is about giving you attention...it is. She remembered his exact words and over and over she replayed them and felt even more guilty.

"Teresa, you may have misunderstood him. What else did he say?" She pushed and Teresa racked her brain for his other words. It seemed she began to only remember the bad but she began to remember the good too.

Nothing makes me happier than making you happy. And if you need me to be here just a bit more than that's what I'm going to do Tesoro.

After she told Nala, Nala stared at her anew. "What's wrong with that Teresa?"

She didn't understand, Teresa thought. How could she?
"I'm forcing him Nala. I'm forcing him to do this and I don't want to do that" It felt like forcing him to place her into the center of his world again. The very thing she didn't want him to do and yet she felt like that's what she was pushing him towards. To make the statement 'I can't live without' literal again.

Nala shook her head for the umpteenth time. She and Teresa only had two sessions and she was much worse than Luciano. Except for the raging fits of course. "Teresa, many women overthink, it's natural but you my dear are the literal definition of any overthinker. Luciano does something wrong, it's your fault, he does something right, it's your fault and you feel you're forcing him. You feel maybe he's not the problem, but yourself, and you're scared you realized it too late"

Hearing this, Teresa's eyes welled up with tears. Not only did she think that she believed it. How could Nala know if it was true or not? That maybe she was the problem all along, not Luciano. That she caused his suffering. Maybe she'll be the cause of her children too and yes it terrified her she didn't want to be a disease but that's what she began to feel like. She sniffled and continued to listen to Nala.

"You're psyching yourself out. You feel unworthy. You feel like Luciano deserves more, better. Teresa, it's not okay to put yourself down like this, it's not healthy" Teresa felt the couch sink and Nala grabbed her hand to hold in comfort.

Teresa shook under the thoughts. They were sicknesses and caused damage every second. Of course, it wasn't healthy. Neither was eating fast food every day but there was four hundred plus pound people's evidence that it causes a lot of harm but they continued to do it. "He's a good man Nala" She sniffled and wiped her face. "He has flaws and issues, a lot of them but he didn't have them before I arrived. And even—" Nala brushed her hair back as Teresa tried to gather her strength to speak. To explain and to express.