Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 4- And how... (Nikki Sixx)

Funny how fate is....fate....destiny....depending they can be some real mother-fuckers. Oh yes, how this shit goes again? HOW RUDE....Nikki Sixx, Nikki 'fucking' Sixx, or as I still can't believe at times after all these years....Nikki Crosby-Sixx. Yes, you fuckers heard right and now...I wouldn't trade it for the world. How Robbin and I got here.... well you've heard part of the story already....cliche to say 'we met in a bar' or more accurately, we fucked in a bar....a men's bathroom, that night I and ¾ of my band saw Ratt at the Starwood. They had potential musically that I remember....and yes, it led to me pushing for Ratt to get checked out....and they got signed and Vince...damn him was right weeks after all this got started when he said I did it because I hoped for a repeat performance with Robbin, not that I admitted it. And not that I admitted that Robbin was more than just a great lay....dominant, commanding....the only one capable of bringing me to my knees.....the night that changed our destiny's though, we fucked...with wild abandon.....both of us drunk....but we wouldn't see each other again until 1985, when this wild tale of Sex, Crϋe & Ratt 'N' Roll is REALLY set into motion....scheduling, touring for my band....all that got in the way, my drug use increased....but anyway, where this tale picks up....is February 1984, more specifically......February 15....the day after Valentine's day.....and it all starts with dreams....my dreams that I didn't know then were trying to tell me something....things to come, things I didn't want to see....things that I never thought would happen....

The smell of piss.....my back hitting the cold stall.....but...the sheer fucking pleasure....my screams....me being practically fucked UP the wall, literally.....the blond guitarist, that has brought Nikki Sixx to his breaking point....ME.....

"I am...gonna.... take you apart baby!" He manages to growl out. "What do you want?" A harsh but perfect thrust takes my breath....

"You...."

"Who makes you feel this way? Scream for me baby..."

"YOU DO!!!! FUCK ME!!!" I scream.

I feel him smirk against my heated skin, leaning into whisper into my ear, "Come." The tone dark and commanding....and I paint him and the fucking walls.....and then the scene changes.....

"Well.... Well, now look whose back for more. Did you miss me?" It seems I've met Robbin again, after so long....

"Cocky bastard."

"My cock.... has missed you baby......" Robbin's tone deepens.

Next thing I know, he's taking me apart piece by fucking piece..........

The scent shifts once more: and I feel.... ANGER.... FEAR....

"Did you just tell me to get rid of it?!!!" I scream, cradling my stomach without thinking. Robbin, a very high, aggressive Robbin.

"I don't want kids!! Don't want YOU!!" I feel my heart break......

"You don't mean that..." I whisper not thinking he heard me, but he did, this makes him angrier....

"I DO...." Cold....so cold. Advancing upon me now....

"I wanted m-more from you!! All you've EVER cared about is drugs....heroin, its killing you....damn this is what....Vince...everyone tried to warn me about....and now, I have NO fucking choice!!! I had.... have to stay sober while you get to fuck around....and kill yourself, all we ever do is have Sex....we have no friendship....there....is no US. I did drugs...Heroin, I ruined everyone's life....so have you!!! Well fuck you!!!" I throw a picture of us from a photo shoot and watch it break into thousands of pieces....just like my heart. "Heartless bastard!!"