Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 51- A Ratt Family Portrait (Robbin Crosby)

It's practically October now or it is rather to be more exact October 2, 1986, Vince and Stephen just got back from their honeymoon where Stephen told me Vince really had it rough with the morning sickness and he was worried, still is...but he took care of him, and Stephen said too it was all perfect. Little did we know, by the end of this week on October 6, the DeMartini-Lee twins would be born....

All I know is our family is thriving now....me seeing the light...DYING finally drove the point home. I can't imagine....my life any other way now and that's still hard to believe at times or it would be if I didn't know what life without Nikki was, without HIS love.... without a HEART. Nikki and our son, Kingston are my worlds. Kingston, growing up so damn fast.... he's 9 months old now, can eat solid foods.... constantly on the move crawling and is already trying to walk and talk which Nikki says he gets from me; well Kingston IS my twin save for the eyes. Though I argue he has some of Nikki's personality traits. I love him, I love Nikki...and someday I would LOVE to expand our family....and I want to spend the rest of my life with Nikki and something I've wanted to do for so long: ask him to marry me. I have a ring; Nikki doesn't know about.

Currently, Nikki is taking a shower.... I'd insisted and I meanwhile am playing with my son in the floor, feeling a bit nervous as I can feel the weight of the ring box in my pocket.... but I calm, thinking of Nikki and especially since Kingston is wanting my attention.

"Sorry buddy, daddy was thinking about mommy and you," I tickle him and the air fills with his giggles and I pick him up, him cuddling into my chest as he squeals with glee but then wants back down, I hold his little hands as he stands up. "I wanna ask mommy to marry me, what do you think? Think he'll say yes?" Kingston smiles, he knows who I am talking about and to me it's my son's way of saying 'yes'. Which too honestly makes me feel a little less nervous....

More time has passed than I realized when I hear, "There's my favorite guys!!" I see Nikki out of the corner of my eye, and he takes my breath away, raven hair defying gravity...those eyes glowing and that body...I mean damn, I am a lucky bastard. Nikki plops down in the floor next to me before I can do anything else and my brain short circuits when he kisses me, Kingston making happy noises it seems...course I quickly take over. "Thanks, babe, for letting me take a nice long shower and the way.... you look at me, LOOKED at me. It's like...it's the first time, I love the way you look at me...and I love you." These words bring tears to my eyes.

"I wish.... things had been different, and I'd seen sooner..." I whisper, "I just.... it's how I feel, how I've always felt deep down, and I don't believe that will ever change." I bounce my son who makes grabby hands for Nikki, me crying as the past creeps in. "S-Sorry it...still HURTS." I feel Nikki take our son from me, wrapping an arm around me as I sob into his shoulder but if I have learned anything, life is full of surprises before Nikki can say anything our eyes widen collectively in shock, hardly believing what we hear....

"Da-da!"

Nikki and I share a look, "Did he just...TALK?"

"Da-da!" Kingston pipes up, reaching out a little hand...which I take.

"Nikki...he TALKED...he...wow...." Breathless and in tears.

"I'm not surprised you're his first words, Robbin...he's crazy about you." Nikki replies before looking at me, "Talk to me, I see that look in your eyes and baby I wanna help."

I exhale shakily, "Ok....ok." holding back my sobs, trying to hang on to the joy of my son's first words. Kingston is layed down for a nap, soon falling asleep as Nikki and I get off the floor and, on the couch, me diving in my lovers' arms sobbing...., "N-Nikki.... sorry.... i am happy he t-talked...but...i...the past, HURTS."

"Robbin..." Nikki begins, "I know it does...it hurts for me too. But it IS in the past, we're working on things.... though we will always carry the trauma. The point is.... you saw finally you needed to change...so did I. we're here NOW, and here we will always be. I love you baby, I love you."

"Nikki.... i.... you're right..." I fumble my words before managing to steady myself and continue, "I got you addicted.... abandoned you, I DIED....it HURT. I didn't know how to ask for help...didn't fucking think I needed it, though...what I really needed was YOU. I didn't feel Kingston move, I wasn't there for that and...and...." I am trying desperately NOT to lose it, acting quickly Nikki pulls back enough to look at me, eyes a dark green from tears...serious and full of such love.

"BREATHE.... look at me, listen to me...." Nikki softens his tone, "I know baby...I KNOW. I hated you at one point, but...then, you still had my heart. You SAW finally and yeah, I fucking hate it happened like it did, but you stepped up.... you're an amazing father to our son, you LISTEN to me, you...you've changed. I am PROUD of you, my KING. I forgive you and I love you, always."

I calm and whisper, "Don't let me go Nikki..."

"Never." Fiercely, as we kiss...an emotionally charged and perfect kiss. After we check on Kingston who is still sleeping away...and I feel the small weight in my pocket and take a deep breath...

And I take Nikki's hands, kissing them before I say, "I'd never met anyone like you, THAT was never in question from the first time we met and I never.... for SO long wanted to admit that I had feelings or COULD. I just.... wanted to be the rockstar, I never imagined it was possible as it's been said to have it all. I never realized....just how much I looked forward to seeing you, even if it was just sex and drugs....i never realized just how much you kept me together until....i drove you away, and let you go...let Kingston go and...since I've ACTUALLY gotten to know you, and work on things....i can't imagine anyone else at my side but you babe, forever....which is why...." Here i get down on one knee and Nikki's eyes widen as far as they will go, "----For awhile I've wanted to ask you.... will you Nikki Sixx.... Marry me?"

Nikki still stunned is in tears, as much as I am right now.... every moment that passes feels like an eternity as I open the box, with the ring.... a black band with rubies to show him.

Slowly, a smile spreads across his face making him look like an angel MY angel as those perfect lips of his part and he says, "Yes my King YES." I proudly and reverently place the ring on his finger, before then kissing my now fiancée senseless, picking him up spinning him around in joy.

God, the day I asked Nikki to marry me? It was an emotional roller-coaster, it was everything.... still is. We'd come so far together then and now...it is still the same, perhaps even more so. I fall more in love with him every day...every day. And when Kingston woke from his nap on that October day? We celebrated as a family and I...started to think of ideas for our wedding....

A/N: At last, Robbin has asked Nikki to marry him and truly they've come such a long way. Next chapter will see Tommy Lee give birth to his twins, so stay tuned!