Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 31- Of Letting it All Out & Our Reunion Part 2 (Stephen Pearcy)

The waves crash against the shore.... just like the waves of emotion crashing against and over me. Vince and I stare at one another, his whiskey eyes dark with tears as I've just told him I DID/DO love him after he has asked me if I ever did. Now, I gotta say...hearing the way he said it, having it said period.... that's really fucking cut me to the bone and its my own damn fault. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd always carry what I've done with me.

"You're not the ONLY one..." Vince whispers before raising his voice to a normal volume, "Seems I'm always catching YOU or Crosby doing shit that fucking hurts me or someone I care about....and you know, I am NOT THE ONLY ONE that needs you to make things up to them." He eyes me pointedly, and I know he's referring to Sixx as well saying that.

I drop my gaze looking out at the waves a moment before finding my voice and Vince's eyes once more....

"You didn't deserve that.... i wish to God, I could take it back....and too, I made you feel that you couldn't come to me. If I'd been a better partner, and not been such a jealous fucking asshole, flying off the handle.... things may have been different. And.... I realize now, I need to make things right with Sixx. I..."

Vince cuts me off with a pained expression, "I KNOW...he's my brother, my best friend. You drove a wedge between us and to top it all off, Robbin's made things fucking worse."

"You had and have every right to hate me for that Vinny, and I will talk to Sixx too. I owe it to him.... course he might kill me..." I muttered at the end, not thinking Vince heard me, but he did.

"He'd beat the shit out of you pregnant or no. "Vince smirks slightly before his lips begin to tremble, "He knows....that I still love you, how I really feel and it would kill me....Stephen, you don't understand....I've had nightmares, Razzle....Razzle DIED in my arms, my lap...and in these nightmares, Razzle turned into YOU."

I sit there in stunned silence, speechless....and I couldn't form any more words if I tried right now....

Oh my god.... I've had no idea....no clue.... oh VINNIE.... oh god. So much I need to make right, and I need to talk to Nikki to apologize, I owe him a HUGE ass apology.

So much pain...so much HEARTACHE. And then there's Robbin. Robbin, is...I wonder if Vince felt like I do....watching your best friend, someone that is like family I.E Sixx kill themselves, slowly...and yet rapidly, fading away....but Robbin has not yet hit rock bottom and then all Robbin ever talks about in his drunken or drug induced hazes is NIKKI SIXX and their....unborn child.....but would Sixx ever believe me? Vince.... Robbin is not Robbin anymore, Vince was right...Vince was and IS right....

Vince stands up and stares down at me, and I begin to panic.... he looks worried and uncertain....my eyes widen.

"You're.... you're leaving?" I croak. "I-I.... get it.... but...PLEASE...DON'T GO..." I stammer, begging, staggering to my feet.

"Stephen.... if...I stay.... I just.... i mean...part of me hates to leave you here like this and then.... there's the part that wants you to hurt as much as you made me hurt. Look, I need.... its gonna take time for us to...I mean for me to trust you again, to truly forgive you."

"Is...this...how you felt...when I.... broke up with you? I...FEEL like I'm losing you all over again Vince. I don't deserve a second chance...and you're right, I mean...I have your...."

Vince cuts me off, voice filled with sorrow, "I don't live there anymore. I sold my house.... i...when you first, let me go.... I got rid of all traces of you, it hurt too much. I destroyed the place, had a hangover for TWO DAYS after."

"Vinny..." I do not know what else to say as he starts walking away and I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and I stumble my way after him, managing to catch up to him, his shoulders shaking. "Vince don't go.... please.... i know it will take time, how.... can I make things right if I don't know where you are?" if you're safe, cared for....it should have been ME doing these things.... i never imagined it would hurt this fucking much....

Vince hesitates and slowly turns around, "I live with Mick and Paul, they took me in...insisted....and Nikki lives there too." Vince recoils, fearing my reaction and guilt......crashes into me, like a breaking wave...taking my breath.

"Vince..." I begin, "I swear to you, I will make things right with Sixx...Nikki I mean, I see now how much he means to you as a friend, as a brother.... Robbin is...the same to me, he's there somewhere deep down, his real self and I don't...wanna lose him. I don't wanna lose you again."

Vince sighs heavily, deep in thought before reaching into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt and taking out a piece of paper from a small notebook and scribbling on it....and I take it with trembling fingers and almost drop it.

"It's the number to Mick and Paul's house....be warned if you call, and any one of them answer your ass will be raked over the fucking coals, do you understand that? can you handle that?" Vince explains and asks seriously.

"Yes, Vince...I can handle it....and I understand.... it's the least I deserve." Quietly, I insist on calling for a car and when it arrives and he gets in, I break down once more.......

Time passes and before I realize, I find myself back in my lonely bedroom.... the moon rising and searching for pictures, pictures....an album of pictures taken of Vince and I in happier times, and I find myself saying to the overwhelming silence as I look thru them:

"Vince, I didn't tell you.... i wish I did, I couldn't let these go...these memories of us, I still have them....and I understand WHY you got rid of the pictures of me, of us......where I in your place, I would have done the same thing. Still it fucking hurts...baby, I hope someday.... We can make new memories together and between now and that day, I will do whatever it takes to hopefully make that come true. I love you Vinny...I love you..."

I cry myself to sleep, clutching the photo album of Vince and I like a lifeline....and I dream.... of US....

Vince despite looking so exhausted and in pain, is beaming....as he holds, a wriggling pink bundle, our...daughter, who it seems is a blend of both of us...with my curly brown hair.

"Stephen.... Look at her! She's.... Wow, here. So small....so very small, and so damn beautiful. I see so much of you in her."

"And I see so much of you in her Sugar Cookie." I counter before adding, "She's our little sugar cookie...and so beautiful.... thank you, Vinny."

"You can thank me babe, by holding our daughter....and...I need some kisses."

"I can do that." Softly, as I lean over and carefully kiss him...his cheeks and lips before kissing our newborn little girl's forehead, and carefully...so carefully I take her in my arms, her eyes wide as she quits fussing, "Hey little sugar cookie...Hey Delilah, I hope you know how very much I love you. Welcome to this world sweet girl, I have your momma to thank for you.... for giving me another chance."

"And I am so damn glad I did....it took us time, to get here.... for me to truly forgive you, but...in the end, we came together and fell in love all over again." Vince sniffs, eyes shiny with tears. I rock My daughter gently in my arms, her gradually falling asleep and I realize she isn't the only one.

"Sleep Vince...you and she need it. I love you both so much...and babe, I will always and forever keep my promise to never take you for granted again, to love you as you should be." I whisper, and carefully I place my daughter in her little bassinet by Vince's bedside, making sure she is ok and slowly, I run a finger along her little cheek. "Daddies got you, ok? You and Mommy.... get some rest little sugar cookie, I love you...."

A/N: part 2 of an emotional reunion.... Perhaps a ray of hope? And dreams of what could be.... Next chapter may be a time skip...but will be Stephen finally fighting for Vince's love and trust, to earn them and then the chapters after will see, Nikki nearing the end of his pregnancy and.... Robbin's Heroin Overdose.... which is sadly coming....