Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 11- Something Wicked this Way Comes (Nikki Sixx)

January 10...1985.... the ONLY things I remember that stood OUT besides of course the birth of Mick's daughter Hope with Paul Stanley was of course reuniting with my husband Robbin or then my 'fuck buddy' / 'drug buddy' or rather he'd become that. Really, I couldn't admit THEN THAT I had caught feelings somehow or other and I wanted to ignore or did all the warning signs that Robbin would BREAK me, cut me off or put me at odds with the men I see as brothers or maybe that was all the drugs, nah it was my head AND the DRUGS. I went off on a tangent just now, but I have a point....our reunion, well you know HOW exactly were reunited and it was a LONG reunion that was repeated many times before Robbin and Stephen were invited into the studio....and things started to go to hell, for Robbin would introduce me to something that both ruined my life and that also strangely ended up saving it....

February, I fucking hate February.... ESPECIALLY Valentine's. or on second thought.... I spent the day and the night being DOMINATED by Robbin if you get my drift. So, it was worth it for that, but love? Fuck that, I don't get it. I don't deserve it.... or maybe deep down I want it, but I know better. There are reasons why I am so damned guarded. So, Robbin and Stephen are due to arrive here at the studio anytime, as we'd invited them....and I being me, am attempting to distract myself working on my bass lines.

"Sixxter? Yo Sixxter?" I look up to find Tommy is poking me repeatedly, and I scowl.

"What?!"

"Chill dude, he will be here."

Mick and Vince are watching, though Vince himself is nervous and excited both, but Mick? His gaze is unnerving like he KNOWS something, and I feel it's something I won't listen to.... given how I am, and he also looks like he's worried.

I go back to working on my lines, and this time though Mick joins with his guitar and together we go over parts. Tommy spins his drum sticks around, Vince looks over his vocals and notes....

More time passes than I realize, as I find myself in the booth and we get underway....and I notice in all this.... THEY have arrived....

Its like a tractor beam, Stephen eyeing Vince....and Robbin's dark gaze on me, is doing shit to me right now.... but he looks a little of...high, he's high....and oh that will make sex EVEN better, because I know that's where this is headed....

We work for a bit, until a break is called. Mick is told Paul and Hope have come for a visit and they have their time and Stephen and Vince are talking in a corner, practically cuddling.... aaaannnnd, Vince comes sauntering over to me now. Stephen watches Vince like a hawk, glaring. He's Jealous, and even I can SEE that could clash with Vince....an argument is imminent...

"Sooooo, Sixx.... how long we get for break?"

I blink sighing, wanting Robbin...in best and worst of ways....

"Relax Vince, no one's gonna turn into a fucking pumpkin. At least an.... hour." I am starting to squirm, Vince hugs me in thanks....and makes his way back to Steven and I catch Robbin's dark gaze and motion towards the exit, and I no sooner get to the threshold before Stephen starts in on Vince and soon there's shouting.... damn that was fast. Something wicked this way comes and those two going at each other isn't it....

Robbin and I increase our pace and no sooner than we do that than Vince comes storming past, tears in his eyes and Stephen hot on his heels. And finally, Robbin and I find a corner a hidden spot I point out and instead of getting straight to sex, I am the one who decides to ask.... bluntly asking......

"So Whatcha on? And why aren't you are sharing?"

Robbin smirks, "Why don't I show you? Hmm.... bet you'd like that wouldn't you? And lucky YOU I brought enough for us both and I am SUCH a gentleman you can go first." If I could go back in time and tell myself one thing at this moment it would have been, "Run like hell.... you will REGRET this." Then again, I was stupid....and I may not have in the end cleaned up my act and veered from the path I'd slowly headed towards WITHOUT Robbin and what ultimately led me to our.... son and us truly falling in LOVE and realizing it was always buried under the surface. 

The element of danger, the risk of even in a 'hidden' place makes this even more exciting....

Robbin pulls out a tourniquet.... spoons and HOLY SHIT...my eyes widen as I quickly realize.... HEROIN. Now I've done a lot of drugs, but Heroin I've heard shit.... scary shit. It's the worst....

Robbin looks up, as I look at him stunned and I hesitate....

"Heroin? I...mean.... i don't know.... I've heard bad things.... I..."

Robbin cuts me off, voice dark and sharp, "Don't go soft on me now Sixx. I thought you were cool...sides...." He pauses a moment, "Its only a little...start you off small."

Here is where I utter the one word...or words that seal my fate and will cause a ripple affect among my band, NO my family....

"Fine!" I snap, "I'm not a pussy....and YOU better fucking make this worth my while Robbin."

Robbin brings me to my knees; he joins me on the floor already wrapping a tourniquet around my arm.

"Oh baby, I can PROMISE." Robbin does what he needs to....and finds a vein and the next thing I know, everything disappears for a second then I feel calm....my past trauma, Deana.... everything is chill......a bit of euphoria. I feel as if a doll......

I am going under......i did the one drug, or.... Wait, was I upset about it again? Was I upset? Hmm, I hear Robbin grunt slightly, guess.... he's shooting up too....and wow, now I am getting HOT....

"Ever do it in a dark corner?" Robbin's voice floats to me, hands beginning to wander.

"Mmm..." I got out.

"Mmm...what Baby Boy? What do you want?!" Robbin's voice gets demanding, as I go to touch him, body feeling heavy and light at the same time.

"You! Fuck me.... just fuck me!" I cry pulling him to me, him quickly taking over and next thing I know is he is plowing into me, taking me against the wall.... taking what little was left of my sanity, taking me APART and how the hell we don't get caught I don't know.... but amazingly we never do......

I stumble after our drug induced Sex....managing barely to dress myself even with Robbin helping and we make our way back to the studio, acting as non-chalant as we can....like we didn't just shoot up Heroin and have sex in a darkened corner....but, I know like anything when it comes to Robbin and I and now of all things: Heroin...will be back for MORE.

Little did I know, but would find out later on is that Robbin and I WERE in fact 'caught' by accident by none other than Vince, he saw Robbin inject that damned poison: Heroin into my veins and it is the true reason why Vince for a long time hated Robbin, or in the least resented him...no it was 'hate' and it would cause problems between Vince and I, me refusing to listen as I drifted away or began to...I hurt my best friend....and all this would lead to heartache, pain.....and Vince beating the shit out of Robbin which among other things would drive a wedge between Vince and Stephen....and indeed SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES....

A/N: The die is cast.... the seeds are sown, drama...sheer drama to say the least is coming down the line, this is merely the start. Next chapter we shall see among other things Vince's POV on Robbin introducing him to Heroin, what happened perhaps during his and Stephen's first argument and more.... we shall see. Stay tuned for more!