Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 41- Sixx's Visit Part 2 (Nikki Sixx)

It's NEVER felt like this before....so passionate, not just the passion of lust...the thrill of sex in public places...its LOVE, its emotional and I am finding its everything. Robbin has never...we've never really kissed before, NOTHING like this....and I really told him, I'd give us a shot...again, something I could never have imagined and especially that fact that I have FALLEN in love.... What will I do though when I leave here? How much longer.... can I live with.... dammit Nikki, get your shit together!!

Vaguely I note...the loss of warmth....and I cling to Robbin sobbing, and I've worried him....

"Whoa.... god, Nikki...I didn't mean.... if I've upset you.... I..."

"No!" is my strangled cry and I bury my face further, if possible, into his chest, clinging to him...praying I don't wake our son.

"Then PLEASE tell me what's wrong baby, I can't help you if you don't tell me. I promise whatever it is, it'll be ok....and baby you're shaking." Robbin's voice, that deep voice...gentle, firm, frantic.... he softens his tone husky though from tears, "Hey look at me." I shake my head until I feel him tilt my chin up. I did tell him; I'd give us a shot....and that should also include.... the bad, as well as the good.... SHARING things.

"W-What...will I fucking DO when I leave here? I've.... lived with Mick and Paul, c-because I really needed it, but how m-much longer can I? I s-should get m-my shit together....and not be so.... so sad."

Robbin's face falls, his eyes heavy with tears and sadness, yet love and determination as he says, "It will kill me Nikki, I can't LIE to you anymore or to myself. I know it's not easy to say the least, you've been through and are going through so much. But...if you need me, I'm only a phone call away...come hell or high water, I will be there for you AND our son. If I know anything about Mars and Stanley from what you've told me, and all is they'd let you stay there forever. They supported you, took you in when you really needed it.... you guys are all like a big family, that I hope to God.... I can be a part of, I wanna be I mean. And Nikki? no ONE expects you to have or 'get' your shit together, you can't help how you feel and If I can help in any way, I WILL cause baby I love you."

"My head...r-really sucks...." I whispered miserably.

"I know how that feels believe me you." Robbin has yet to let go of my face, I don't wanna let him go....

"I love you..." This time I claim his lips, just needing him....and a kiss just as loving, emotional and passionate as our first.

Time passes and we cuddle for lack of a better term, talking about music....trading lyrics to songs, rifts and the like and naturally our son, I take pictures of us....one that is my favorite: me in his lap...him and I laughing, as he tries to 'steal' my camera but really steals a kiss and before long, Kingston beings to wail...LOUDLY.

Before I can even move, Robbin takes Kingston in his arms...wrinkling his nose but soothing our son, "Kingston...I know, I know......its ok. I hate sitting in my own shit too." I gape at him as i KNOW he's referring to his detoxing, as I then hand him the diaper bag, and Kingston kicks his legs as Robbin changes him, and Robbin is in tears...this is the first time he's getting to experience this with our son, it's funny cause Kingston also tries to piss on his father, making me snort in amusement, Robbin merely smirks....soon our son is changed, and still he wails. Robbin glaring at the people giving us dirty looks and giving out some very well-placed barbs, "Come with me to my room, he's probably hungry...and you can do it in private...if that's ok?" he asks lowly, rocking our son in his arms.

"Ok." I whisper, taking Kingston from him...Kingston squirming about, screaming in frustration. Robbin grabs his carrier and his diaper bag, Kingston now reduced to fussing as soon we enter Robbin's room and I gape...because I see, pictures of me...old pictures of us, including the one where I am high as fuck.... Kingston tugs at my shirt.

"H-Hand me his burp cloth and...." I feel insecure, "It's not a.... well, I'm not..."

"I gotcha and by the way, you're still as attractive as fuck...even more so now, you're beautiful...never doubt that." Robbin gets my true message, as he gets the cloth and I pull of my shirt, Robbin's strong hands...brushing me, and helping me support Kingston's head as our son instantly latches on to a nipple and begins to suckle, calming completely. "Huh...so this is what its like...helping you take care of him in person.... I mean.... its...amazing really." Robbin's voice cracks as Kingston continues to suckle away, "kid takes after me, stubborn as fuck...we're in a lot of trouble when he gets older."

"I l-love having you share this with me." I whisper tearing up as I glance at him, "Well Kingston IS your twin." I quip, chuckling quietly.

Robbin huffs playfully.... Kingston is switched to the other side, as he still isn't full, until finally he is, and I burp him and the burp he lets out is impressive for a baby.

"Kid sounds like he's learned something from your drummer." Robbin quips, smirking.

I scoff, "PLEASE.... he learned that from ME, pretty damn good for a baby I think." I rock Kingston in my arms, him making burbly noises...and my heart melts because I know they're happy noises. "You wanna hold him?"

Robbin smiles, "I'd love to." Carefully I hand off Kingston to Robbin, our son so small yet fitting so perfectly in Robbin's arms. Just like he fits perfectly in my arms.

"Someday.... i would...I mean, have you.... i can't believe..." I stammer, unable to express my thoughts, nervous. "Um.... i would, love to move in with you....um, maybe get a place of our own? For our family....and, would you ever marry me?"

Robbin shocks the hell out of me and moves me both with his reply....

"Actually, I HAVE thought of that....and, well I have some pictures of places that I think we'd both like if you wanna see them, something perfect for our family and..." My breath hitches with these words, my heart beating wildly, "I'd love to marry you, I will.... that's a promise. I have some ideas, but I promise you it will happen."

Robbin stunned me the day of my visit, though given how he'd changed and was changing it shouldn't have surprised me, he by the way was true to his word. You'll find out here before long, well I ain't gonna give too much away, but you'll see.

Anyway, just as I thought.... when I had to part from Robbin, taking Kingston with me....it killed me to leave Robbin, and I know it killed him to watch me leave. And that's why, a few days later, he called to tell me he was leaving rehab sooner than was expected, because as he told me, "It was needed yeah, but Nikki...YOU and our son need me more. I didn't want to be without either of you anymore, I realized that after you left the other day. Baby, its YOU and Kingston that are the motivation I need to stay sober, and you and I can lean on one another for that."

A/N: Part 2 of Nikki's visit, tender moments.... surprise moments and more. Next chapter we will hear how Vince and Stephen's first date since their reunion went perhaps, stay tuned for more!