Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 67- A Happy Crϋe Year Part 2 (Vince Neil-Pearcy)

-Diary Entry-

Here it is another New Year, January 1. 1987 to be exact.... Christmas was spent with the man I love, the man that put me thru hell and finally saw the light. I wouldn't trade Stephen for anything, even the storms only served to make our love stronger. But ah yeah, Christmas.... each of us doing our own things, not that we didn't check with one another family wise....and gifts were sent. My husband bought me a new guitar or should I say surprised me with one.... The best gift to me was being with HIM. of course, cuddling, and hot chocolate and Christmas movies were also involved....

Back to New Years, Stephen and I of course kissed at midnight....and afterwards had sex and oh it was HOT!! But I am in fucking misery or I have been, I can't sleep...its 2 am and I've been awake for I don't know how long before entering the New Year and by some miracle I managed to sneak out of bed and waddle my way downstairs, wasn't easy....i am sore as fuck, but depressed, and I really feel nauseous....my emotions are every fucking where right now and I wonder too how the fuck Tommy survived 8 months of being pregnant with twins. And I have talked to him since he the most 'twin' experience if you will and he's given some advice which helps.... some, but don't get me wrong, I love my son and daughter dearly....and I am excited to finally be a parent especially since its with Stephen. It's just that on entering my fifth month of pregnancy I thought the morning sickness or that feeling would go away and it did for a time. I just really feel like a burden, and I fear that because of being so pregnant that Stephen will leave me again or just ya know let me go...I shouldn't have these fears, maybe it's just the hormones or maybe not.... but hormones don't fucking help I can tell you that.

Delilah and Jamison though are moving as we speak, I do love feeling them...their movements and speaking of which they just started kicking me.... don't help.... now...

-End-

Abruptly I drop my diary, groaning....as my children kick me, not because their hurting me but because I am in misery and really feel like I am gonna fucking hurl and I burst into tears trying to BREATHE AND NOT GET SICK.

"Oh SHIT....Vinny? Sugar Cookie?!" Stephen, its Stephen....and I....

I clamp a hand over my mouth, and it seems my husband gets the message as next thing I know, I am handed something to get sick in and get sick I do, and all I can think is what a sobbing MESS I am....Lucky me, I guess....it doesn't last exceptionally long at least in reality but afterwards I refuse to look at Stephen, crying....still feeling low-grade nausea and super exhausted to top it all off.

Twins are moving, seem to be ok...they are much calmer now it seems....and I am anything but....

It seems I blink and the hands I know so very well help me drink.... hmm, chamomile and ginger tea and slowly, slowly my nausea goes away though mentally I still feel miserable.

I feel Stephen try and gently get me to look at him, and still, I refuse....

"Vince please...look at me baby doll." Pleading, voice husky and finally I find myself looking into my husband's worried eyes and see the sheen of tears. "Vinny, never be afraid to talk to me and say what's on your mind and I can see it, your sad.... miserable, sore to say the least. I can only imagine how hard this is on you, I love you...and I love our children and that ain't NEVER changing."

"H-Hold me..." I whisper. Stephen does so, no hesitation...his hands joining mine over my swollen stomach, I take a breath and break down, "—Sex was amazing.... but I'd been SO tired before then, I haven't really slept in I don't know how long. I am SORE, I feel like I shouldn't...like the morning sickness shouldn't be making a come-back. I feel like a burden to you, and I have these fears that you'll leave me because I'm so very pregnant and all. That you will just let me go....and that's not fair to you, for me to think these things. Hormones don't help and I just...am SCARED too and hate being so depressed."

"Vinny.... listen to me. Firstly, I'd NEVER EVER leave you again...let you go. I vowed to you and to myself, I could never lose you again like I did before. You DIED, nearly did. You are not a burden never could be. Don't apologize for anything, how you feel.... you can't help. I know you are scared; I am too for you. It's hard to see you suffer, but baby doll burdens are lighter when shared and I am HERE for you always. You're working so hard to carry our children baby, so hard. And I am here to do whatever I can to make you feel better, to take care of you and to love you.... now let's see if we can get you to sleep and less sore, ok?"

"Y-You...you promise?" I whisper.

"YES.... i love you." Gentle lips upon my own and next thing I know, I am upstairs in our bedroom and must piss as always, and after that am in bed propped up by pillows as my husband takes his time to massage me all over, repeatedly going back to my swollen stomach and I tell you know I have never loved him more for this. I cry, this time tears of relief. "Feel better Vinny?"

"Yeah.... and.... i have never loved you more, for.... tonight especially. Just being my rock and loving me, taking care of me. And another year.... a new one with you? I could go for that." Softly now punctuated by a yawn and I am just now vaguely aware of the fact that the sheets are clean....

"I could say much the same...I fucking love you Vince, I just wanted, no needed to say that."

"I love you more..." Another huge yawn, I feel the twins finally begin to calm as they aren't moving so much now.

A gentle kiss on my lips, "Sleep Vinny, sleep as much as you need baby. Love you."

"Love you too." I murmur before fucking FINALLY giving into sleep....

I slept so long, my poor husband Stephen freaked out and took me to the hospital. I think or so I was told I slept like 12 hours. The babies were fine, very much so.... but I still sadly had it rough but otherwise was ok as could be considering I was so very pregnant then. It was worth it, all of it was even if it did suck ass so much of my pregnancy. That New Year's night or those wee hours of January 1, 1987.... i don't give a fuck if this sounds cliché but it only served to make me fall more in love with Stephen and really it was because it reminded me of how far we'd come together, losing our way.... eventually coming back together. And 1987 would see our own family become a family of four and I wouldn't have traded that year for the world.

Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'n' Roll I tell ya....

A/N: A New Year's at the Neil-Pearcy household. Stay tuned for the next chapter.