Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 79-Our Lives, Our Love, Our Journey Part 1 (Robbin/Nikki Viewpoints)

Robbin Crosby

As I have said many times over the years, where the HELL does time go? How has it been 40 years since the night Nikki, and I met or fucked to be technical. Still, that fateful and I do mean fateful night of September, September 9, 1983. I didn't see then that there was chemistry from the get-go with Nikki, I was drawn to him.... i HAD to have him so that led to us fucking in the bathroom at the Starwood and in the years since then...no lie, they renamed or gave the bathroom the name: Star-Crossed or the naughty: The Crosby-Sixx Playhouse if you will. In any case, over a year has passed since that night before I saw my husband again, and I tell you he never once left my mind, never. The sex was mind blowing, then that was part of it...a small part because I didn't want to see I caught feeling and that brings us to January of 85, when Nikki and I reunited/rechristened our bathroom at the Starwood and so began the spiral, mine and his for I would the following month make one of the worst mistakes of my life and introduce him to Heroin, he became addicted and so did I, I however was CONSUMED by my addiction. I was such a fucking asshole back then, I got off on bringing my husband to his knees, it was always MY way or nothing...always, and I didn't realize just how much Nikki kept me together, how much I always looked forward to seeing him. Then came July 23, 1985.... a hot, drug fueled night.... a night when I made THE WORST MISTAKES I EVER COULD HAVE MADE: I screamed at Nikki to get rid of Kingston, I didn't want to or know how to ask for help, that I was SCARED TO be a father and Vince beat the shit out of me....and that is the least I'd deserved then. Vince hated me then ever since that February day I introduced Nikki to Heroin.... i drove a wedge between him and Stephen, Stephen cheated and abandoned Vince and Nikki and I....it still HAUNTS me to this day that I wasn't there for Nikki with Kingston, and I fell further down the Rabbit hole. Consumed completely by my addiction, Nikki and our then unborn child were all I SAW and talked about in my hazes. I'd isolated Nikki, I wasn't there for him.... i missed out on so fucking much and then......Valentine's Day 1986, I died.... overdosed on heroin, I SAW Nikki seeing my death on the news, I saw him go into labor. So yeah that was the day I died and the day I was reborn and I fucking finally saw the light, that I had to change...I had to get better, I had so much to make right and I can never forget holding Kingston in my arms, and realizing I'd very much wanted him and it took me dying to see that, nor could I ever forget Nikki and I reuniting once more, getting everything out on the table...a very emotional and powerful talk, I finally got help entering rehab and Nikki who'd been living with the Mars-Stanley clan as had Vince, well I owe them everything....for they helped lead me back to my heart. But ah yes, rehab.... i actually fell in love with Nikki from afar, I finally got to know him, and I fell hard, Nikki struggled though so much, so much and I left early, because he needed me and so did our son. We ended up married and we had Frankie, there were tours...albums...we lived, we loved and still we are doing that today......

Over the years we did expand our family, adding another daughter when Frankie had turned 3 followed by our final child, a son a year after that. Ratt and Mӧtley embarked on a co-headlining tour in 89, 89 to 90 as a matter of fact....and eventually Nikki would form Sixx AM, him wanting me to be the lead guitarist or the only one rather...I hesitated because I didn't want to let him down, unsure if I could do that...and of course my husband was a huge help and especially Warren. Today Ratt is still on the road, my husband's band has retired but that doesn't mean he and they don't keep busy, we have. Nikki and I have grandchildren.... Delilah and Kingston married and have so far given us 2. Frankie has one and our younger two children do not...yet anyway. I've come so far in my relationship with my husband, I've fallen deeper and deeper in love.... i went from enemies to friends to family with Vince, I've become the best version of myself, and Nikki is as ever at my side....and I know he always will be.

Nikki Crosby-Sixx

What can I say about the life I have lived? Pain, abuse...drugs.... Sex, Crϋe & Ratt 'n' Roll. Strange to think love was once a mystery, that I came from nothing, thought I was nothing and how that changed, has changed. I met Robbin and he rocked my world, he tore me apart.... He broke me, I loved him, and I hadn't seen it for so long, I loved him, and I hated him. He got me addicted to Heroin, yet Heroin also strangely ended up saving my life. The chief reason being my first born: Kingston...I had a reason to get and stay sober, and yet I had to watch from a distance my husband kill himself. I was broken, I'd drifted from my friends...Vince especially and I too owe my life to Mick and Paul, who took me in and eventually Vince....and gave me the love and support I so desperately needed. Vince overdosed, Robbin did....1985 was the best and worst year of all our lives in a way. Feb. 14, 1986, I gave birth a month early to Kingston and Robbin finally saw the light, he died...the old him did and we ended up getting to know each other and truly falling in love. I struggled the first time being a mother, a parent and especially when Robbin was in Rehab, every night I called him...and he didn't once complain, he was there....he'd changed so much, so very much and more time passed and we got married, I got pregnant with Frankie...more albums, more touring.....and making the big time and having it, truly having it all. Robbin and I had two more children after Frankie and now all my babies are grown up, we have grandchildren we share with Vince and Stephen...life has really come full circle in every way. I wouldn't trade my life, my love...my husband: Robbin for anything. He is truly my other half...

And if you are wondering circa 2001, Robbin and I released 'The Heroin Diaries' sharing our combined experiences and pain, and hells of our addiction and I formed Sixx AM, my husband joining me. Today Mӧtley has retired, Ratt is still going strong and Robbin and I for the last few years have lived out in Jackson Hole, Wyoming at the property he bought for me so long ago yet feels like yesterday. The past, my past.... mine and my husband's well it doesn't hurt as much as it once did, we've come such a long way together and together will continue to grow, to love together...always and forever.

A/N: A reflection and Summary of Nikki and Robbin's lives of the past decades and next chapter we will hear from Vince and Stephen.