Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 61-Sweet Dreams are Made of This (Robbin Crosby)

As I've said, our honeymoon was perfect. It was wild, romantic.... you name it. We missed our son dearly of course, but it served only to deepen mine and Nikki's bond and I can't truly express what that means to me.

After our honeymoon came Thanksgiving....and God, was that fucking emotional for Nikki and I! Not only was it our first together, but we had even more to be thankful for.... because was DYING.... i was alone, trapped in the arms of Heroin.... seeing Nikki EVERYWHERE, seeing everything but a way out, that I needed help.... that I needed Nikki. And Thanksgiving 86, I was ALIVE, Nikki and I were together and a real couple.... married and always learning, a true partnership and we got to make memories with Kingston who took to Thanksgiving with gusto. Pictures galore were taken, I tell you now and I treasure each and every one of them and little did I yet know or maybe I did in a way that Nikki was pregnant with our second child. Before we get to that, Nikki's 28th birthday was celebrated.... again, another first for me...for US. It was he and I, a romantic date night and a passionate night of making love....and so where you will find is a week later December 20, 1986.... five days before Christmas and life changing news...the best fucking news and Christmas present I could ever ask for....

The house is all decorated for Christmas, I really went all out determined to make it special for my family. Kingston is fascinated by the Christmas tree....'Santa' will bring him lots of presents aka Nikki and I. and our family of course...Speaking of Nikki, I am WORRIED about him.... he's been acting strange.... smells seem to bother him, and he keeps taking off to the bathroom lately, his insomnia is bad....and wait....

I wonder...these are signs I read about in those baby books I'd gotten in Rehab.... I....

I am broken out of my reverie by Nikki, pale.... very pale...shaky and he looks scared.... Kingston is thankfully taking a nap.... i immediately take Nikki in my arms, trying to get him to talk to me....

"Nikki? C'mon baby and talk to me...I PROMISE you its ok, it WILL be. I have a feeling, but please just tell me...."

Nikki finally looks at me face tear streaked and my heart clenches at his tears, "I.... just.... you p-promise?" he's gotta be.... come on babe I gotcha.

"I fucking swear on my LIFE Nikki."

Nikki takes a shuddery breath, "Um.... I....c-can't sleep....and, s-smells.... bother me, emotional.... I've been getting sick a lot lately. Just like I was with Kingston, and... I'm SCARED. AND I-I know its n-not fair, and you've changed.... and...." Nikki rambles managing to reach into his pocket and reveals a slim white object and my eyes widen and feel with tears as he confirms what I HIGHLY suspect. "I'm p-pregnant......" Nikki whispers, "D-Did you w-want this?"

"Nikki.... YES.... I want this.... need this. And I want you to know that I wanted Kingston even then and I didn't know it.... i want this NOW, you make me so happy....and we're expanding our family...this is the best gift you could ever give me besides your heart." I am in tears now, so happy...emotional and I snake a hand down to his stomach hardly daring to believe this is real and I am HERE for this, but I feel the least bit of roundness and.... It's BEAUTIFUL. "This...this is what it's like. "I am in awe, "Wanna know something?"

Nikki manages a nod, "You remember on our honeymoon, cuddling on the couch.... i put my hand where it is now.... it's like to me, instinct...like I knew. Nikki this is the sweetest of dreams and what a WONDERFUL Christmas present."

"You don't know.... how much this truly means to me. I love you....and we're having another baby and now I know, I'm not alone in this anymore."

"NEVER." Fiercely, 'Death' mine especially has taught me so much and this time I will never repeat the same mistakes that almost cost me THIS, that cost me everything. I'd breathed these words across his lips, kissing him...taking my time and then afterwards, I lay him down not with the purpose of seducing him, but I reverently lift his t-shirt and kiss his stomach and whisper to our unborn child, hoping somehow they hear me, "I want you to know that I love you and want you SO much, just like I wanted your older brother and didn't know it. I promise to take care of you and mommy, and be the daddy you need, that you deserve." I feel Nikki run his fingers thru my hair, and I close my eyes....as the tears roll down my face.

Kingston wakes up not long after all this and all hell breaks loose, Nikki takes off like a rocket to get sick.... Kingston is upset because Nikki is not feeling good AND he must pee.

I rush my son to go pee, we're just trying to start him potty training....and, sadly he doesn't make it, which results in having to clean my son AND the floor and Kingston is wailing as I rush to the bathroom in our bedroom and Nikki, my poor Nikki is leaning against the toilet which makes Nikki sob and Kingston more upset and I soothe both my husband and my son....

"I promise you both we're gonna be ok, you hear me? Kingston, mommy isn't feeling good buddy and I know it upsets you, it upsets me...but there is a reason and I promise mommy he will be ok in time...." And I turn to my husband, "I know babe, you wanna help.... but right now, you need rest, and I am gonna take care of you and our son."

"I want momma!!" Kingston wails.

"Kingston James..." My tone firm, "let's get you clean, and momma resting, ok? Daddies got this." Kingston immediately quits wailing, as I manage to get Nikki off the floor, and help him to the sink...where sadly he heaves, and finally he seems to be done as I help him clean his mouth out, tuck him in bed and give Kingston one of his first baths of the day and FINALLY when that's done, I take Kingston and put him on the bed and tell him to be careful with his mother and then I tell my husband who is looking at me like I hung the moon, which does things to me. "I know all this was chaotic. But babe.... I am HERE for it all. I am gonna keep the promises I made you. Now, I am gonna make you some tea...ginger and chamomile, I read it was good for nausea in one of those baby books I got....and then you need to eat something light...maybe some crackers.... did you want or need anything else?"

"Um lemons?" Hopefully.

"Lemons it is, want em sliced?"

"Yeah, wedges are fine and some salt."

"Got it babe, be back soon.... but before I go..." I trail off kissing him and giving Kingston a kiss on his forehead, telling him to stay with his mother and that we have a surprise for him....

I try not to take too long, and I don't I think....and soon enough Nikki has his tea, cooled of course and the lemons sliced with salt, and I even bring him plenty of water....and at last when Nikki declares he's done with the lemons, his eyes fill with tears but oh those eyes GLOW as I join my family in bed, my arms wrapped around them.

"Momma, daddy? Prise?" Kingston asks, looking curious.

"We've got an early Christmas present for you...." Nikki starts but gets nervous.

"You want to do it together babe?"

"Yes."

"Kingston it has to do with why mommy is so sick.... Mommy is having a baby, there's a baby in mommies' tummy right now. Babies can make you sick, but it won't last forever."

"Mommy be, ok?" Nikki and I share a look and exhale in relief.

"Yea buddy, I promise.... How do you feel about being a big brother? It means you'd have someone to protect, to love and when they are older play with." I ask/explain and Kingston grins, MY grin....and claps his little hands. Nikki and I both chuckle.

"Wuv prise!" Kingston giggles and turns to Nikki, "Mommy west k? Wuv ew an'...an' baby."

"I will, I promise....and WE love you too, me...daddy and baby." Nikki holds Kingston close, and I in turn hold them, truly sweet dreams are made of this....

A/N: Nikki and Robbin are having another baby!!! And up next the first of four parts, well we will see for sure, but it's likely...anyway, chapters dedicated to A Ratt n Roll Christmas, and we'll check on the Neil-Pearcy household, so stay tuned!