Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 15- Welcome to Oblivion (Robbin Crosby)

Ah yes, I'm sure you've heard by now of just what went down between Nikki and I the day I was invited along with Stephen to the studio....and I very much fucking regret it to this day, well once my head was cleared of its drug induced fog. There were tensions, a very tense atmosphere especially between Nikki's lead singer and me. Looking back, he had EVERY right to hate my guts. I don't even remember Stephen telling me of his romantic first date with Vince, because I was high as fuck. And I began and I didn't see it, to drift away...things began to drift away from me, especially Nikki and that brings us to July 1985, July or so I was told July 23, 1985....

Drifting.....I am drifting....tensions are everywhere, between Vince Neil and myself and then...there's Nikki and I. all we've done and ever do is each other and drugs, I keep Nikki to myself, but Now....Ratt's on a tour, just started and I think Nikki got his album recorded with his band and he's supposed to come see me....and I don't know why, I don't care more....i don't....i feel numb, but then there's this tiny part of me that's just SCREAMING for something...help. Maybe it is helpful or is it, Nikki that I really need?

"Yo earth to King.... calling King Crosby!"

"What?!" I'm sorry Warren....

"Dude, WHAT'S WITH YOU?" Warren exhales and softens his tone. "Sorry, it's just.... I'm worried about you man. And I've been trying to tell you Sixx called for you.... think he said he'd be here soon." I've changed Warren, I've changed.... not in a good way....

"Oh so, Nikki's coming huh?" The look on Warren's face, I'm not sure it sits well with me. But I will let it go...

"Yeah, he sounded.... i dunno, off.... not happy. Not like he usually has." Here's the first sign or signs things are about to go to hell, and I make the biggest mistakes of my life and descend into a spiral.... all my own making. And little did I know that I'd gotten Nikki pregnant with our son already....and shit's about to really...and I mean really hit the fan.

I shrug, "Probably needs a fix or something.... sharing is caring." Warren goes to say something else, but we're interrupted by Juan and Bobby's loud arrival, thank fuck they ain't well fucking....and then on the heels of that comes Vince Neil with Stephen and Nikki and when Vince catches sight of me, his expression goes dark.... looks like he wants to kill me kind of dark.

In all this I don't notice that Nikki is at my side.... looking pale.

"Where ya been baby? I've missed you..." I purr adding on, "You want to take a quick hit? I got just the stuff." Nikki looks green like he could get sick.

"Um...no, I...I.... been getting sick lately.... whenever I try and....do drugs...."

"Ah baby, withdrawal is all that shit is."

Nikki glares at me, turning the blood in my veins to ice. "Do you give two fucks about what I just said Crosby? It's NOT withdrawal, I think I got the fucking flu or some shit like that!" Nikki snaps seemingly fearful before promptly vomiting all over my shoes.

"Fucking gross!" I snap. Something is wrong.... i am high and drifting away.... Nikki, Nikki....

"You bastard!!" Vince flies at me, before Stephen or anyone can stop him and decked me a good one and it takes herculean effort to pry him off of me as Vince continues to pummel me. Me too shocked and or high to fight back. "I am tired of this shit!! It's your fault.... I've lost my best friend, I'm losing him! You got him addicted to fucking Heroin of all things!!!"

"Vince why the fuck did you do that to him?! You wanna fuck Sixx that bad...." Vince slaps Stephen thereby releasing me and rounds on Stephen, effectively keeping me from Nikki.

"You don't know WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I CAUGHT ROBBIN SHOOTING UP with Nikki, see? This is why I was afraid to tell you! No one stands up to that fucker I just beat the shit out of! Nikki was trying to tell him something was wrong! Something is wrong that ain't drug related. You don't trust me Stephen...you don't, I don't love Nikki in that way!! He's, my brother!" and here Vince rounds on me as Nikki gets sick again. "He's been drifting away because of you.... you got him addicted!" and then he tells Stephen, "I have EVERY right to be upset, so don't fucking act like I don't!!"

Nikki shakily stands up as Vince and Stephen continue to go at it and is in tears, and part of me feel so guilty....

"You deserved that Robbin.... I am finally seeing what everyone has tried to tell me. And I don't like what I am seeing......and though I think you don't deserve to know..." Nikki takes a deep shaky breath, "I'm pregnant."

"Get rid of its Nikki!! I didn't want to have a kid.... i have my career, you used to be FUN!" Nikki, help me, please...please help me! I am scared...so scared....and I don't know how to be a parent, I don't want to fuck up our kid.

A deafening silence follows....and my face which is already black & Blue is rocked to the side by Nikki, slapping the shit out of me.

"I'm SCARED.... SCARED....and I have no fucking choice but to go to rehab now! None, while you get to live high on the damn hog, literally!! How DARE YOU TELL ME TO GET RID OF IT! ALL I'VE EVER MEANT TO YOU WAS BEING A SPERM DUMPSTER, ALL WE EVER DID WAS FUCK, THAT'S ALL WE DO, WHEN I TRY AND SUGGEST OTHERWISE YOU DON'T LIKE THAT! I'M KEEPING IT!" Nikki shoves me hard, "I'm done! So done! Go to hell Robbin Crosby!"

Don't go.... don't Nikki, don't leave me!

I stand there, frozen....as Nikki goes to leave.... A stunned and pissed off Warren glares at me, and Vince goes to follow Nikki to help him...

"Vince! You walk out that door and we're thru!"

"Someone should stand up for Nikki, I am in the right Stephen, you know I am....if you loved me, you would trust me....and....i caught you earlier with some whore, flirting....tell me NOW, did you fuck her?!" Vince snarls.

Stephen looks guilty.... Vince looks sad and spent.

"That's what I thought, I was hoping I was wrong. Bye Stephen, have a NICE life.... cause I won't be in it...." He begins to sob.

"Sugar cookie.... I'm...I..."

"NEVER call me that again! And don't tell me you're sorry!" Vince sobs, and soon he and Nikki are gone.

The show got cancelled that night.... Stephen realized or I would eventually get told...but anyway, he realized immediately he made a huge mistake breaking up with Vince. That Vince was right...Stephen broke Vince's heart and took him for granted. Ironic because I did the same or similar to Nikki, I told him to get rid of our son....and I fell into a pit of hellish despair, my addiction spiraled out of control....and it took me a long time to realize it was because I'd had feelings for Nikki and without him.....my fault or no, I had nothing to live for.

A/N: The drama has truly arrived and for a while it will sadly be this way and things just may and will get rough for Vince, for Nikki and Stephen and Robbin...especially Robbin. Next chapter we will see Nikki's fears and his attempt to deal with them.