Sex, Crϋe and Ratt 'N' Roll, A Ratt & Mӧtley Tale

Chapter 7- From Sunset Punks to Rock gods (Stephen Pearcy)

The more things change.... I tell ya....and that was true in 84', things were on the up and up.... Ratt going from Sunset Punks to Rock Gods....burgeoning, but still fucking counts. It was of course, a veritable blitz, getting signed.... recording an album, getting singles released, music videos the like.... but one thing or one PERSON I should say wouldn't leave my mind: Vince. It was and is always Vince.... Anyway, where was I? Ah yeah, Vince. He was part of the reason Ratt was signed....and oh he provided inspiration.... Nikki Sixx provided even MORE inspiration if you get my drift for Robbin....Not gonna lie, all the images...the naughty and I do mean NAUGHTY images that snaked thru my brain then and now...because of Vince....well, you get me. Where our tale picks up is October 31, 1984.... Halloween....

What a fucking year this has been!! Playing the Starwood.... man, that feels like a lifetime ago and here it is....1984, Halloween funnily enough and SO much has happened.... our debut self-titled album is a hit.... Sunset punks to Rock Gods.... ok, so STARTING out Rock Gods technically. More babes...more guys.... there are no rules there haven't been.... long days...long and hot nights, so many mornings waking up in the bed of a stranger....and yet one front man of the world's most notorious band as always snakes into my thoughts....

"Um Stephen? Earth to Stephen!" I am effectively broken out of my thoughts by Warren who asks, "What planet were you on? Cause it sure the fuck wasn't earth." Things start coming thru to me, and it hits me.... we've just a show at a packed venue....and are now backstage and I have no fucking clue how I got here.

"Dude fuck off." I groan.

"You coming to the after party or what?" Warren presses. "Or wait..." Here a shit eating grin forms, "Oh I know!! Another Vince Neil related fantasy!"

"If you MUST know, this has been a big fucking year for us....and I wasn't having a FANTASY!" I fire back. "Where's Robbin? I know where the fuck Juan and Bobby are.... probably taking a page out of Robbin's book and banging each other's brains out quickie style in the men's room somewhere...I..."

"You're just jealous that it wasn't YOU doing that to Vince Neil." Well Speak of the Devil, Robbin smirks. "We all have our fantasies."

I relent huffing, "Sure I do...." And my tone becomes almost silky really as I add on, "MINE are just more DISCREET than yours Crosby." Robbin shoots me not one, but two middle fingers before sitting down, me rightfully assuming, I've 'won' our 'argument' if you will.

"You two done?" Warren crosses his arms and before Robbin and I can form words, because naturally when it rains it fucking pours, Juan and Bobby show up, hair wild...make-up smeared...and they exude that freshly fucked look. "Well....well, look who the cat drug in, and backed up, over and back again." Warren states pointedly, highly amused.

More ribbing occurs, some coke is broken out...merely a warm up, I assure you....Juan and Bobby, clean themselves up.....and we head for the party, and of course....we are treated like gods, people fawning over us....the gods of Sunset....sure, I sound arrogant...but what the fuck ever....and naturally the evening is a blur, but this night for some strange reason not because of my getting shit faced.....and before I realize it, alone again at home....my apartment and my thoughts of course naturally as always go back to Vince.....as I step into the shower, and sigh...with disappointment, loneliness....i don't know....

I refused to admit to myself or acknowledge the things I know now.... but October 31, 1984? On my way to the top, shooting up towards the highest mountain....i was lonely, I had a connection of more than just lust with Vince....we had and have great chemistry and now so much more. On this Halloween night, I couldn't figure out WHY exactly I didn't get blitzed as I usually did....

Well looks like this 'Sunset' punk is making it...a Bonafide Sunset God on the rise.... maybe tonight I just wanted quiet.... a moment of quiet. You can do some serious thinking in a shower.... or some serious sex....aaaannnnd my thoughts once again end up in the fucking gutter.

And here we go 'relieving' me in the shower.... fairly screaming Vince's name now, it sounds like a porno in here.... fantasy is NOTHING compared to what I would LOVE one day to be a reality.....

After a long and HOT shower if you will, I finally get out, get clean, dry my hair and change into sleep pants and boxers, no shirt and practically dive under my covers.... before sitting up a bit, grabbing a racing magazine, I'm into cars and racing.... fast cars, fast times.... all that.. but I can't concentrate in the least and end up staring at the ceiling.

"What is WRONG with me?" I growl. There is no response....no screams of pleasure from my partner, just silence.... silence....

It seems I am dreaming now.... everything having that surreal quality to it....and the scene before me is bitter-sweet, me and Vince, Vince who is holding a little baby boy...that is a carbon copy of Robbin Crosby, with Sixx's eyes.... Vince is in tears; the tension is thick between us.... there may as well be an ocean.... something has happened between us...something.... that HURTS.

"Vinny, sugar cookie..." Automatic it seems in my response, "Please talk to me...please.... i was wrong, ok?"

"Not here.... not NOW." He snaps lowly, "Not after.... I'm not doing this with you. Surprised you didn't think THIS little boy is MY kid...." Vince carefully hands the little boy to a nurse, who it seems takes the baby back to the nursery and Vince gets up and begins to walk away from me, sobbing....i feel the tears fall as I run after him....and I manage to grab him...not to hurt him, and he SHOVES me against a wall. "I told You....I AM NOT DOING THIS....you cheated on me, lied...didn't fucking TRUST me, you thought I was in love or in lust with Nikki! He is my BROTHER....you were jealous of he and I... our FRIENDSHIP, and then there's Robbin....i did what I did to DEFEND Nikki, because someone sure the fuck should.... Robbin got Nikki hooked on Heroin, knocked up...abandoned him to rehab and life apparently as a single parent...so yes I beat the shit out of Crosby." Vince snarls.

I struggle to find my voice and when I do, "Vince....i UNDERSTAND....too little too late right now, or I hope not...I was fucking wrong, and you were...ARE right. I was a jealous bastard....and you did what you thought was right....i should have stood by you and I didn't...I haven't...true...Robbin, I see that now didn't help matters...but it is ME at the end of the day that was the real problem. I..."

Vince holds up a hand, "I loved you.... I love you still Stephen....i made an effort in our relationship, I wasn't perfect no... but I TRIED....i don't trust you and I was the whore? As you'd called me during that fight? I love you, but I hate you....and when I needed you most, like with Razzle, you were gone.... silent, I am lucky I had Nikki, Tommy, Mick, and Paul.... i made the worse mistake of my life that I must fucking live with every day for the rest of my life. But what hurts MORE right now...is YOU.... Seeing you here.... calling me...sugar cookie.... don't ACT NOW like you care Pearcy. Don't." He is so broken....so hurt....and he's been thru so much on his own...and I have made things worse...even worse....it hurts....and I find him walking away from me once more....and I let him go...I let my heart GO.

The scene shifts....and I find myself alone this time.... on the phone, desperately HOPING the person on the other end will pick up....and my heart stops and beats wildly both...when HE DOES.

"Who is this?"

"Vince? PLEASE...I... don't hang up.... please...." I break down, feeling guilty.... wanting to make things right, a chance.

"Stephen...." He breathes out, crying. "W-Why...should.... i listen...."

"I don't deserve to be heard....i just want the chance....i see that.... that like I told you days ago...I was wrong.... for everything, for abandoning you, the lies.... the sex.... for cheating on you....and its killed me.... it's my fault...MINE. Though neither of us can deny that Sixx and Crosby had a ripple effect on us all.... it's still at the end of the day...Me that hurt you, let you go...if I'd truly loved you, I wouldn't have done the things I did. I just want a chance to TALK.... that's all...to make things right...and if you don't want that..." I take a shuddery breath. "Then I understand."

Some moments pass....and I think he's hung up when he comes back on the line with:

"Talk to me then....and we will see what will happen." My heart leaps.... a taste of hope....and then it all begins to fade......

A/N: Ratt are making it.... humor, and a taste of things to come and I have decided to change things up a wee bit and NEXT chapter will be the first of two parts Vince and Stephen reuniting, so stay tuned my friends!