She is Not Who You Thought She Was

Chapter 42/Immature Action

They aren't suppose to have meaning. Ever.

***Flashback***

"I'm so sorry daddy."

"Now why would you say that?" My dad said slicking his blonde hair back and sitting up as I stood next to him.

"Because I hurt you..." I said hesitantly. He picked up my small eight year old body and sat me on the edge of the coffee table my feet barely touching the ground.

"Yes you had hurt me, but only a little bit and didn't I laugh a little after." I nodded slowly trying to understand. "Sorry is a word that has a lot of meaning. Even more meaning when you say 'I am' or 'I'm' with it. This phrase should only be used when you have truly hurt someone. And I don't mean like when you pushed on my tummy too hard." He tickled mine as he said that and I giggled squirming. "I mean when you hurt someone not just physically, but emotionally. When you hurt someones feelings. That hurts more than anything else." I blinked and knew I would remember this moment forever.

"When will I be able to say it with meaning?" I asked softly. He tilted his head and smiled weakly.

"Hopefully...you will never have to."

***End of  Flashback***

The rest of the school day was a blur and I couldn't get over the embarrassment I felt when I said sorry to Rock. I think I rather run my car into a tree than go to his house, but here I am.

"Would you like me to take those to the shoemaker to get the sole replaced Mademoiselle Buzzby." Yves asked as I wiped my feet on the designated mat.

"That's quite alright Monsieur Bonfils. Non, merci." I told him as I started towards the stairs keeping my shoes on.

"Pas de problème Mademoiselle."

I marched up the stairs and made it to Rock's door, but stopped when I heard him talking. I shouldn't eavesdrop but, I don't want to interrupt either.

"Gracias Santi. Lo hare saber Jefe. Gracias por tu trabajo." Silence. "Sí. Adiós."

I know those two. Yes and goodbye. He was thanking Santiago for something. What exactly goes on at Santiago's? I knocked before thinking about it any longer. It was silent for a long moment and right as I raised my hand to knock again he answered.

"Come in." His voice was deep and raspy as if he just woke up. His room looks the same as every day we meet, neat and relaxing. He grabbed his work off his desk and then sat on his bed like usual.

"Do you not use your desk?" I asked because we always seemed to work on his bed instead.

"Well, it is made for one." He answered. "It could be a roomy two-person desk though." He smirked with a wink and I rolled my eyes.

"You can sit at your desk. I'll sit at your window seat." I made my way across his bedroom.

"If we do that then I can't look at you." He stopped. "I can't see you." He added quickly. " Unless you want to get up and compare answers each time I'm staying here." He argued giving me no time to process his complex answer from before. I pursed my lips annoyed.

"Fine." I plopped down on his bed next to him accidentally brushing shoulders. I pretended to sit up when I was actually just trying to scoot over. Rock coughed and I looked at him to see his reaction. He was grinning.

"I know you think my car has cooties Buzz." He said and I remembered one of our first conversations at the tracks. "I promise you it doesn't and neither do I." I bit my lip as that indicated he knew I was trying to scoot away from him. He didn't look at me, he just flipped through the pages of the book landing on the correct section. I suppressed my smile as I couldn't help, but think that my immature action was quite funny mostly because he caught me.

***

We finished around four forty-five and Rock got up to walk me to the door like usual. I wished he didn't feel the need to do that. Even though Rock told me to stay away he doesn't do his part. However, I don't exactly hate the fact that we have become...friendly.

"You have plans tonight?" Rock asked as we stepped out of his room and into the hall.

"Yes. I do." I responded hoping I won't have to explain. I felt Rock staring down at me with his dark eyes and I looked up to him. He raised his eyebrows in a way to tell me to elaborate. I sighed before answering and looked away as we started down the stairs. "I'm going over to Frostee's." We made it down the stairs and I stopped.

"Oh." I changed my view from my shoes to Rock's face. He looked almost confused. Still, I wasn't sure if I was correct about that expression, but it didn't seem like he was masking his emotions. Either he wasn't trying to or he forgot to. We were silent for a moment and I assumed his small unexplained answer was all he had to say about it. I nodded at him and waited for us to continue to the door. "That's why you look nice." His dark eyes pierced my blue ones. Was he mad? Or relieved? Was he happy?

"Thank you, Rock." He licked his lips rapidly after I answered and looked anxious where he stood.

"I think that I should-" He stopped immediately. I tilted my head puzzled by the way he had started talking. He spoke differently than anytime we have spoke before. It wasn't like how he spoke when he told me about Black Velvet, but it did remind me of how he spoke to me the night of the dinner party. When we were alone in the bathroom. I stitched my brows together waiting for him to continue. He stared at me like he was trying to figure out who I was.

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"It's nothing. Have fun, I'll see you tomorrow." Instead of walking me out he dashed up the stairs as if he was running away from me.

What did he want to say? What did he want to say to me, but decided that it was better left unsaid?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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