She is Not Who You Thought She Was

Chapter 84/Adios

Instead of calling Frostee as I had planned, I decided against it and told him I'd come over if that were okay with him. He said that he could never reject such a suggestion. I didn't put as much effort into my appearance as usual. Frostee knows what I look like with extra makeup and without. My car was already off, but I only stared at his house as if it was a place I had never been to before.

Mabel answered the door with her cheerful authentic personality, which I assumed was not as genuine as I once thought. How can this woman live with herself? Having an affair with her sister's husband, it's despicable.

"Thomas is in his room peach." She told me before exiting into one of the other rooms.

"Thanks." I told her and went up to his room.

I stared at the closed door before knocking. Once I raised my hand it opened.

"Thought I heard something." Frostee tilted his head with a smile. His blonde hair fell to the side and his puppy ears popped out of his hair.

"Hey..." I looked away and entered his room.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to go get something to eat? The new place on-"

"Frostee." I stopped him by putting the tops of my fingers up to his lips preventing him from continuing.

He didn't answer just stared at me. His cheeks flushed with my bare fingers touching his lips  My puppy... I closed my eyes tight and removed my hand.

"Scarlett, what is it?"

"I-" I choked. No Scarlett Isobel don't you dare. Crying in front of Frostee was never part of the plan.

"Red you're scaring me. Did something happen?" He grabbed my hands and held them tightly. I pulled away and stepped back. My eyes started to fill with water.

"Frostee...I can't...I can't be-"

"Stop." He put a hand up. My eyes widened and I looked up into his eyes. "I already know what you're going to say." His green eyes were dark and my head dropped. "I knew it was bound this way."

"If you knew why did you-"

"Why did I let it continue?" I gazed at him for a moment then nodded slowly. Did we have the same thoughts this whole time? He grabbed my hand squeezing it, but I didn't pull away for this particular moment. I let him hold it. I wanted him to keep ahold of me. I wanted his stability. He was more lucid than me. "Because I was selfish. Like I had been this entire time. Not waiting until it was safe for you. I wanted you all to myself. I wanted it even though I knew it was never built to last." Frostee smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry Blue. I'm so sorry." I squeezed his hands back. Mine felt ice cold against his. "I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to." I said sadly trying my best to hold in my tears.

"But Red you were." I stared up at him confused. He cupped my face gently and kissed me ever so lightly. So this...is this what a goodbye kiss feels like? "You were my first love and you...were perfect." A single tear runs down my face, but I don't wipe it away nor does Frostee. Instead, he lets go and steps back. I turned to leave his door still wide open.

"Bye Blue."

"Goodbye Red."

Is it a goodbye? Shouldn't he feel bitter? Maybe it is bittersweet for him. I know it's only bitter for me. Although I know it's the right thing to do. I don't know what I was expecting to happen or feel like, but I shouldn't be the one crying. Why do I always end up crying or feeling like crying around Frostee? I wish we could've made it work...but I knew just like he did we weren't designed to last. I could have kept on trying and trying, but you shouldn't force something that isn't meant to be. And isn't it better to let them go earlier because the more time and memories you make with that person the worse it will feel when it ends? If time is supposed to be the one to heal the past, what happens if you let the past be longer than it has reasons to be, will it require additional hours, days, months, or even years?