SOULMATES Winter soldier x Y/n

Pieces.

The next morning I woke up, feeling numb. As If nothing was there.. I took a shower through on a white comfy outfit.

I went to the kitchen where only Tony sat on the sofa reading newspaper. "Only you would read a newspaper." I said attempting to make a joke knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Well it can't always be technology." he responded putting his paper down and meeting me in the kitchen. 

"How you dealing kiddo." he asked quietly. I turned to boil the kettle then as it boiled I turned to him. "Like I don't know where to begin. Normally.. I'd make a list when I was stressed but.. this is way worse.. " I say before pouring myself and him a cup of tea.

"You know I'm a coffee guy right." he said as I gave him the mug. "Too much caffeine isn't good for an old man " I said smugly before planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Y/n.. make a list.. Trust me it will help." I looked at him and gave him a smile. I went back to my room and opened the curtains. I just stood. Stood there and starred out as I absorbed all of the suns light. 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as a knock on the door happened. "It's open." i said firmly not wanting to see who it was so I kept my position. I knew who it was.. I couldn't gather the courage to face him.. Bucky.

He came and stood behind me... "Y/n... look at me." he said softly he put his hand on my shoulder but i shrugged it off. 

"I can't." i said putting my tea down. "Can't what doll." he kept his soft tone. "I can't face you..." "Please don't do this." I added sorrowfully. 

"Do you remember.." he asked. "Everything." i replied.

I'd been thinking about this all morning... leaving...

"I have to leave Buck." I finally let out closing the silence between us. "Please don't do that.. Don't say that no you don't" he replied sadly. "I have to." I protested but quietly... "Y/n I just got you back-" he tried to counter but I stopped him. 

"Did you? Did you though. Bucky I don't know who i am anymore. I don't know which version of me I should be! I close my eyes, and I see blood of my victims. I try to sleep, I hear there screams, there pleas! There sobs for merci! I've hurt people who have brought me up! Natasha Clint Sam!. I've hurt you.." I let out my voice breaking at that last part. 

"I feel like an intruder in my own head. I need to leave. Today, tomorrow.... I don't know. I just know I have to go." i added with a tear coming down my cheek.

I finally looked into his eyes and all I saw was sadness.. tears...pain.

"I'm sorry, whatever we were... -" I started. "Stop." he said his voice breaking with every letter.. "This can't continue. You don't deserve it..- " "don't you dare say it." he whispered. "Were over Bucky." i said quietly 

With that... Bucky left the room. I sunk to the floor slightly paralyzed by what I just did... Then the mental war begun.

"You broke his heart." The voice inside my heard started. "it was for the best I was only going to hurt him." The other voice objected. "You hurt him anyway! You hurt everyone you love, your a fucking disappointment I don't know why you even fucking here." I had enough I got up and walked out into the hall and went to find Tony I paced into the kitchen hoping he was there.

Instead she was... 

A/N: Well that was heated. Poor guy. 

Also that little mental battle if anyone is dealing with that ever my dms are opened please don't suffer through that alone.