SOULMATES Winter soldier x Y/n

New year New us! ...right?

BUCKYS POV

WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT. Fuck! FUCK. No no now she's going to fucking hate me forever. I meant none of that.. God my sunk hearing her broken voice.. 

Y/NS POV.

Tears formed at my eyes but I didn't let a single one drop. I avoided everyone and headed straight to the bathroom. God I looked awful by the time I had shut the door tears streamed down my face. 

I looked at myself in the mirror.. Seeing my reflection was sickening. I was disgusted  by myself I began to frantically scrub my hands all I saw was blood on them. 

KNOCK KNOCK.

"Y/n?? I saw you run in here honey, are you okay." I heard Wanda call from the other side of the door. My heart was racing, I was shaking.., but still scrubbing. I was in shock to say anything. 

"Y/n???" she called again but no answer.. After a couple of seconds I heard the door open "Y/N??" she said opening the door. 

When she saw me.. my mascara was running. my eyeliner still intact. my eyes were red. i looked like fucking Rudolf the red nose reindeer! 

"What happened." she asked concerned. "There's b-blood on my hands" i stuttered. "It-its not coming off Wanda. Why wont it come off!" I yelled. 

She turned the tap off slowly.. "Okay honey..." she said putting a hand on my shoulder turning me around to face her. "Y/n there's no blood." she said calmly, but cautiously. 

"T-there is, it's there. I killed someone.. it was my fault I did it..." at this point I was shaking. "Friday get Tony in here now." wanda commanded.

She held my hands in one hand, her other hand she put on my face and cupped my cheek. Little did I know she was looking into my mind. "Y/n. whatever your seeing it's not real." she tried to reason with me but it was no use.

I was a hot fucking mess.

BUCKYS POV.

When I walked back into the party I had Steve rush up to me. Before he could speak I looked around the room was empty. "Where the hell is everyone?" i questioned. "The hell did you do to y/n". he asked furiously. 

"We had an argument. That's it." I stated. "Oh really, that explains why she's gone fucking insane." he said not believing me.

"What are you talking about." i asked concerned... "She burst in here ran to the bathroom. Wanda went after her, she knocked but y/n didn't even answer. Wanda then just bust down the door to see y/n a mess scrubbing her hands convinced there was blood on them.. Which there wasn't. Wanda called Tony, but she was disorientated like i said she wasn't her.. Tony evacuated the party not knowing if y/n was going to freak out again or turn into her... He's got the compound on lock until she's calm." steve replied.

"i fucked up steve... she was with every man tonight I was so mad.. When I confessed it she said we weren't dating it wasn't my concern. which she was fucking right." Tears started to form in my eyes when i was about to tell him the next thing.. 

"Then i stated how i wished i'd never met her she said the feeling was mutual. Then I got so mad.. I just. lied.. i did everything to hurt her the way she hurt me... I-i wished that hydra had kept her and that she deserved everything that happened..." my voice broke as tears escaped me.. "I told her that everything she did when she was under there control was all her fault." i confessed feeling so guilty.

Steve pulled me into a hug. "Go shower, clean yourself up. She's going to be fine." he commanded.

Y/NS POV.

An hour later. Wanda calmed me down.. she showed me some pretty illusions that got my mind away from the blood. It caused it to disappear. 

I showered and then was greeted by Tony. We spoke and decided it was best to sleep for now. Wanda stayed with me all night in case i had another nightmare or.. episode. As were calling it.

I've decided to ignore what happened. I'm still doing the mission with Bucky regardless. My past is dead to me I have to accept it. i can't be held back by it.

So much for new year new us.

A/N: YALLLLLLLLL how is everyone.

Uhm heres some tissues for anyone who needs it. 

This was a bit of a roller coaster....