Naruto One Shots

Uchiha's Love #1 (Sakura Haruno)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to DoMyzu]

Requested by: Myself

Keys:
- None

Word Count: 4,554

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:
- Non-romantic one-shot; more friendly one-shot vibes
- Heavily Itachi themed so my bad
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      The knock at the door startles me awake, my adrenaline rushing as I shoot up in bed. On instinct, my hand reaches across the bed in hopes of coming in contact with Itachi. It doesn't, but that's not much of a surprise. He comes and goes as he pleases. Well, as the Akatsuki pleases; more specifically, Pain.
     Another knock at the door sounds through the house, echoes of it raking through my body. I have decided I hate Itachi today. Most days I hate him, but despite the burning grudge laid deep, when he's around I can't help but feel like a love-struck schoolgirl.
     Before everything, before the massacre, before all the death and destruction, before the hatred Sasuke and I had formed, I couldn't feel anything except love and pride for the Uchiha Chief's oldest son. Our lives - my life was so great before all of it.
     Once the third knock comes I move out of my bed. My feet are silent but my thoughts aren't. About ten different trains of thought are running through my head, all ending at the same conclusion; Itachi pissed someone off again.
     My eyes drop against the door frame, in search of my katana. It's propped up against the frame as I expect. It's a beautiful sword, but unlike the blade, it's double-sided. An unchanging apology from Itachi; one of many. 'Sorry, I almost got you killed. Here's a pretty sword for when it happens again.'
     I let my finger ghost over the colorful laced handle of it as I creek the door open. "Hello," I whisper out, scanning the darkness for whatever threat awaits me.
     "Hi," comes the small response. My head snaps down, following the voice. Standing on my doorstep is a... child. A short, twig-thin child.
     I scan the outside again, making sure to take my time looking over the empty dirt road and the edge of the forest. After Itachi went rouge, he asked - demanded - me to move further out of the village.
After a couple of weeks filled with lectures about my safety, about him having easier access and a lot of negative side effects from the village, I finally caved. The final nail in the coffin was getting attacked by some of my fellow villagers for 'being an Uchiha sympathizer'.
     "Can I help you?" I ask, tone cold as I turn back to the girl standing in front of me. Her hair is in an uneven bob, the bubble gum pink color making up for the rough cut of it.
     The child's eyes are wide when she looks up at me, the green color of her irises pushed to the side from her wide pupils; a natural response from the cloudy sky hiding what little light the night gets. "You know... um..." She shifts, eyes scattering around as she thinks over her words.
     My hand tightens around the handle of my sword, the crisscross pattern of the material digging into my skin. "I know who?" I ask, doing another environment check. I will say that using a child as a distraction is a new low, even for the enemies of my rouge ninja.
     "You used to know Sasuke right?" The words hang in the air, sucking all the oxygen out of my lungs. That's new too. I've never been asked about Sasuke, and the times I've heard about him have been insults themed around him thrown into my face by the village. Well, besides Tachi's old anbu coworker. Occasionally Kakashi will give me updates on Sasuke, but he hasn't been around since before the Chunin exams.
     "I suppose you could say that," I answer, turning my attention back to the girl standing in front of me. That's a bit of an understatement. I've been present in his life from the second he was born, which is one of the only good things my situation with Itachi has brought me.
     Well, was present. The last thing the sole survivor of Itachi's mental break needs is a constant reminder of his brother. I'm sure he gets enough reminders from the image in the mirror.
     Her eyes seem to be even wider as she looks up at me. "I know him too," she tells me, eyes blinking at me as she waits for an answer.
     I don't know what answer she wants, let alone expects. "Congratulations." That's probably not the answer she wanted, or the tone she was expecting. Her face scrunches up before her head tilts down. My eyes catch on her headband, the deep imprint of the village stamped into it. "Child, it's late, I'm tired, and not in the mood. What do you want?"
     Her eyes pick up for a second before falling back to the ground. "Kakashi-sensei talks a lot about you," she mumbles, her attention on her sandals as she messes with the top layer of dust that covers the ground.
     Fucking Kakashi. Mr 'I want to fix it'. I am grateful that the shinobi treats me like an actual person instead of a broken, left-behind piece of the masochist. I'm also grateful that he keeps me in the loop about my lover's kid brother. 
     Not so grateful that he insists on sticking his nose in my business, or that he keeps pressuring me about everything. Move further into the village, reenlist as a shinobi, make a friend, and find a new boyfriend. I'm pretty sure the last part is more self-driven than it is the Sensei's guilt about Itachi eating at him.
     "And?" I push, puzzle pieces sliding into place. This must be Kakashi's little kunoichi who has fallen head over heels for Sasuke. May the Gods either make Sasuke better than his brother or save this girl from the life of being a Uchiha's heart and soul.
     It's not all bad. Itachi is very loving and kind to me. Aside from his brother, I'm his whole world. I know that, and he has ensured I never forget it. Despite that, every positive has its negative.
     I have boxes filled with letters from him. I also have boxes filled with medical supplies for the next time he shows up half-dead on my doorstep. The same hands that have touched my skin in love have been coated in the blood of the innocent. He's constantly worried I'm too isolated but is jealous of any person I come in contact with. The same voice that lulls me to sleep has told me the crimes committed by his hand. Itachi's love is as strong as his possession. Obsession is not a strong enough word to describe his admiration for me.
     Is that the kind of life this kunoichi is signing herself up for? Is she willing to place the golden chain of a Uchiha's love around her neck? A gold chain is still a chain nonetheless. Once you dip into the love of a sharingan user, there is no going back. You will be loved until you die, whether that be from nature, the hands of their enemies, or their hand if they can't take the grief of you leaving.
     I am lucky enough to know Itachi would never put his hands on me. Does Sasuke share the same twisted morals as his brother? Anyone can die if it furthers their goal, but not even the gods will rest if my loved ones are hurt; is that another reminder that Sasuke and Itachi were cut from the same cloth?
     "Well..." the starter shinobi starts, eyes still locked on the ground. "Sasuke has... he's left the village."
     Panic creeps up my chest at her words. If he's left the village, what is his squad mate doing at my door? Has he gone rogue? Or is he taking some space? Is he finally processing the grief of everything that has happened? I wouldn't put it past the councils to label him rouge without him breaking any laws of the land.
     "Why might he have done that?" I ask, doing a mental count of how long it's been since the last time I've seen Kakashi. Is that why he hasn't come around? It's been about two months; possibly three. Has Sasuke been gone that whole time? Does Itachi know? He has to know, he checks on his brother as much as he checks on me. Why wouldn't Itachi tell me Sasuke has abound the village?
"I don't know... something about power and revenge," the girl answers, lifting her head to look at me again. That doesn't help the tightening of my chest. Why must Sasuke follow his brother's path so closely? I swear one if not both of the Uchiha brothers are going to be my death.
"Well, that sucks kid," I answer, my tone a bit snippy.
My mind is preoccupied with worry. How mad would Pain be at me if I showed up unannounced? He doesn't seem to mind me coming around as long as I'm not much of a distraction for his 'top member'.
I've talked to the Akatsuki leader a lot; if anything he's the only person aside from Itachi I talk to constantly. I'm not sure if Pain's interest in me is personal like Kakashi's or more 'happy worker, good worker'. Either way, he has decided I'm off limits when it comes to his murder team members, which is a bit of an ego rub if I'm honest.
My mind is flipping back and forth between writing to Pain to request a visit or writing an angry letter to Itachi. As I'm closing the door I settle on writing Pain. This is a conversation that needs to happen face-to-face with Tachi.
"Wait!" The girl yells, her hands slamming on the door to stop me from closing it. That pulls me out of the gutter of my mind. I move the door back open, looking down at the child. "I'm sorry," she murmurs, face scrunched up again. "I just... I want to talk to you."
"Why would you want that?" I ask, letting my face soften a bit. The poor girl looks so distressed. What has Itachi's little brother done to her?
She stays silent, eyes jumping around again. Kakashi hasn't trained his genins on body language yet, which is very evident from the kunoichi constantly shifting her weight. The only way to make her nervousness more evident would be a red stamp mark on her forehead. "Sensei said you're the only person in the village who has dealt with someone like Sasuke."
"Someone like Sasuke?" I poke, trying to figure out what exactly Kakashi has told her about me; more specifically, about my entanglement with Itachi.
"Ya... um... you know, like a rouge ninja," she races out, hands flapping around like crazy. "Kakashi said a lot goes into loving a rouge ninja and a lot goes into loving a Uchiha. He keeps telling me a combination of them is the most stressful thing in the world and I should just give up on Sasuke and with him constantly talking about you I figured you could help me with my thoughts."
     The ramble brings a small, sad smile to my face. "Do you want my honest opinions or did you come here to justify your love for Sasuke?" I ask, even though I know it's a little cruel.
     "I don't know," she whispers back, eyes on the ground again.
     I let out a long sigh, the promise of going back to sleep sliding out with the noise. "Come inside child," I say, opening the door wider so Kakashi's not-so-smart genin can escape the chilly night. Well, perhaps she's a chunin now. I'm not too sure since I haven't had the chance to ask Kakashi about the results of the exams.
     The girl walks through the door, stopping in my entryway to take off her shoes. "Um... you can wear mine," I mumble sliding out of my house shoes. I don't get visitors - let alone invite them in, so there are only three pairs of house shoes in my home; Kakashi's, mine, and Itachi's. As the girl slides on my shoes, I slip into Itachi's slippers.
     I walk away from the door, once I'm sure it's locked anyway. Someone can break through it but they can't exactly do that silently. A small warning is better than no warning. "So... you know Itachi," the girl mumbles, her head on a spiral as she looks around my home.
     My home is quite decorated; pictures of the past, a few photos from recent years, and different artworks from all The Great Nations fill the wall space.
Itachi might be a bad person but he is a good provider. I can't remember the last time I wanted... well, anything. Everything I need or want is gifted to me by him or he provides the means for me to get it. The thought upsets me; another reminder of how chained to Itachi I am. Maybe I should consider reenlisting as a shinobi.
"So," I start, flopping down on the couch tucked against the wall. "What is it that you want to know, kid?"
"Sakura," the girl answers, her eyes wandering around the small living room. Even though the space is small, I have it packed quite full. Living alone leaves me a lot of free time, so the room has turned into a hobby dump center. Baskets of yarn, random piles of books, and art supplies are thrown all over the place.
"Well, Sakura, what is it that you want to know?"
I watch as she walks up to my easel. It's a half-done oil pastel piece of Itachi and Kakashi. I settled on Itachi's color scheme being red but I've been struggling with what color to do Kakashi.
"Is this Sensei?" The girl asks, unclipping my reference photo.
"Ya, it is," I answer, closing my eyes. I can imagine every detail of the picture without having to see it. It's an older photo, taken a couple of days before the massacre. Kakashi and Itachi are sparring, swords pressed together as they come to a standstill in their fake battle. The standstill only lasted a second or two, but there's no surprise there.
"I didn't know Kakashi-Sensei had a tattoo," the little one says, coming over to sit on the couch next to me.
"Ya, he does. So does Itachi and me."
"You have a tattoo too?" Sakura asks, eyes turning away from the photo to me. I nod my head, yes, turning my attention away from her. I'm starting to not like the fact that I invited her into my home.
     "Can I see it?" She asks as she scoots closer to me. I let out a soft sigh before shifting around so my right shoulder is facing the girl. I tug my sleeve up, showing off the anbu spiral. "So, you guys all just decided to get matching tattoos or something?"
"Or something," I answer, standing up and making the short walk to the kitchen. Hopefully, a cup of coffee will help calm me. Or at the very least, help me wake up better.
     "What does that mean?"
     "Ask your Sensei," I murmur, keeping my hands busy with the preparation of my drink. "What exactly do you want me to talk to you about?"
     Silence falls in between us, Sakura letting her eyes wander around my makeshift craft room again. "I don't know... just... what's it like?"
     I let my attention fall to the dripping of the coffee being made. "What's what like?"
     More silence fills the space but I don't mind. Situations like this are difficult to talk about, both for me and for her.
     A little bit of warmth fills my chest when I glance at the girl sitting on my couch. She's about the age I was when Itachi... well, became a murder. It's weird to think about, me being in her shoes just five years ago. At least she'll have more of a support system, and someone to relate to. At least I can offer her the comfort of understanding I didn't have when Itachi went rogue.
     "What were Itachi and you like before he... left," her words come out slow like she's worried I'll lose my composer from her questions. That's not surprising, rumors about me spread even now because of my anbu days, but mostly because of the Uchiha. I can only imagine the rumors circulating now that Sasuke has left the village.
     I think about it for a moment, trying to replay the long-ago years. "Um... we were all always busy. Coming and going all the time from missions. Itachi was busier than everyone else so he was always so stressed out. He never had time for anyone, including himself. If the Hokage wasn't keeping him busy, his clan was. Most days were filled with apologies for not having time for me, but..." I tilt my head, shifting my focus back to the coffee maker.
     "But?"
     "But when things were good, they were so great. He's always been a romantic. Not like loud, elaborate romantic. More quite romantic," My heart swells with love for the dumb, murderous man I can't get over. My ring clinks against my coffee mug as I pull it out of the cabinet.
     "What's the difference between a loud and quite romantic?" The girl asks, scooting off the couch and joining me in the kitchen.
     I see her eye catch my ring as it continues to clink against different things I grab. It's Itachi's mother's wedding band. It was a gift he gave me; more like a sign of ownership. Tachi isn't too happy with Kakashi snuggling up to me.
     "I don't know how to explain it. A loud romantic is like someone who always has to hang on you when you're out and about. Someone that makes their love take up as much room as possible, I guess."
     The girl nods along as she listens to my words, eyes glossed over in confusion. Maybe I won't be able to show her as much comfort as I thought.
     "Quiet romantic is... things like your partner making you breakfast even though they can't stay to eat with you. Someone who takes care of things for you without you having to ask and half the time not notice. I don't know, something like that."
     The room is quiet again as I sip on my drink. I watch Sakura, her mind preoccupied. Perhaps she's rolling through memories of her Uchiha, trying to find the times of quiet love. I know it took me a while to figure it out; to put together Itachi's love for me wasn't any less because he chooses to show love in smaller, less noticeable ways.
     Thoughts of the ring in my hand fill my head as I focus on it. Was it a proposal? Or just his jealousy getting the better of him? How would that even work? Us being married?
     "How alike do you think Sasuke is to his brother?" My eyes jump up to meet the girl's green ones. The question hangs in the air for a while as I think it over.
     "Well, I don't know Sasuke as well as I did when he was younger. I think he's more like his brother than he likes, but less like him than he notices." The answer isn't really an answer, but I still think it fits. Itachi is driven by his undying love for his brother and me. Sasuke is driven by his hatred. Love and hate aren't as different as people think.
     "What's it like? Being in love with a Uchiha? Or, well, having a Uchiha love you back?" I notice the sadness trickle into her eyes but I leave it be. I know how hard it is to tell whether anyone - let alone a Uchiha - loves you back.
"Itachi is very busy with..." I stop myself, taking a second to glance around the room before setting back on Sakura. "Being rogue. No one... a ninja doesn't go rouge to do good things. I have to live with the fact that I know some of the things he's done, and the fact that he's done worse than he'll fess up too. It's scary but... it's also comforting."
"Comforting?" She asks, face scrunched up again. "How could it be comforting knowing you're with someone who has murdered people? A lot of people."
I let out another sigh, letting my eyes wonder again. "I spent a long time wondering why I couldn't get over him. Wondering why I liked a... murder more than any of the shibobis in the village. The answer I think I've settled on is when Itachi falls to his knees at my feet, when he holds my legs in desperation for my love, for any part of me I'm willing to give him, it causes... it makes me feel important, valued."
My eyes settle on Sakura again, her own eyes wide as she looks at me. "Uchiha's are very... ego-driven, but their love is so much stronger than their egos. When a Uchiha is willing to give you that love... it's almost set in stone that they would turn the world upside down for you."
I fall silent, giving her time to let my words sink in. "You don't think anyone else would do that for you?"
"No," I answer quickly, getting a bit frustrated that I can't word the feelings Itachi pours into me in a way that Sakura will understand. "A shinobi's purpose is to serve their village. A 'good' shinobi would sacrifice their partner for the village. Itachi would sacrifice everything in this world before he let anything happen to me."
My eyes study her face, trying to read her expressions. Her face is scrunched up for a while before it softens again; a light bulb turning on behind her eyes. Maybe this girl does understand what I'm saying, even just a little bit.
"Knowing someone would go to war if you're harmed is a better promise than knowing your partner will put their job above you. Don't get me wrong, I know how terrible of a person Itachi seems to be; how terrible he can be. People see him as a murderer, a selfish Uchiha, someone who excels at manipulation. But, I know where I lie on his priority list, I know anything I want will happen if I ask, I know at the end of the day his actions are to give me a better life, even if I don't understand."
Silence envelopes us again, me watching Sakura as she thinks over my words. "It doesn't seem as bad as Sensei made it sound," her voice is small as she continues to think.
"It probably is as bad as Kakashi made it seem. Nothing positive comes without a negative. I might be protected from everything in the world but it becomes isolating." I blink my eyes rapidly, pushing down my loneliness to stay matter-of-fact. "I don't know if it'll be the same with Sasuke, but carrying the weight of what Itachi could and would do if he sees someone as a threat, if he misreads a situation, or gets too jealous... it's scary knowing what he can do."
My hands are shaky as I lift my mug again. Thoughts swirl in my head as I sip on my drink. Am I putting Sakura in danger with this conversation? Will Itachi see her as a threat? Or will he leave it be? Does he know he's isolating me? Or is he doing it on accident?
"Uchiha-san?" Sakura calls, pulling me out of my thoughts as a weird feeling crawls up my stomach. I don't know if I like being called that.
"Yes, child?"
She stays quiet, staring at me for a while as she works out her next question. "Kakashi-Sensei said something like 'you're in an open cage with broken wings' or something. What does that mean?"
I smile softly at her, Kakashi's voice ringing in my head with the same quote he's said since the death of Sasuke's clan. "Your Sensei says that I 'live my life with the door of my cage open, but with the wound of clipped wings'."
"Yes! That's what he said!" The girl cheers a bit before the excitement is replaced with sadness again.
"It means I live in fake freedom. I'm free to do what I want when I want because of the safety net my Itachi offers me. However, I still live with the terrible things he's done. With the knowledge of the things he has and is willing to do."
Sakura's face sinks with my words. A bit of my grief rubbing off on her. "Is it worth it?" The question is soft and asked to her feet instead of me.
"I think it is. I... he's not around a lot. He's always busy but I know I'm always on my mind. I know that I'm loved." I stop again, resetting my head for a second before settling on my mini-me.
"Loving someone like Itachi - someone like Sasuke, means you give a lot. You give your time with them, your own time, always being on call because you don't know the next time you'll see them if there will be a next time. You give a lot of your emotions. Worrying about them and what they're doing, to who they're doing stuff to. Grievance to the people they hurt, to the life you used to have, to the person you used to love, the person you used to be."
I snap my eyes closed, tilting my head up at the bittersweet feeling forming with my next sentence. "You give love, so much love, unconditionally. You carry a million feelings wrapped up in that single feeling of love. Being that safe space for them, sharing their burdens, their mistakes."
I tilt my head back down, locking eyes with the younger girl again. "It's a lot of mental burden, and not everyone can carry that. If Sasuke loves you, he won't love you any else because you struggle with your feelings day to day. Some days I love Itachi more than life, some days I hate him, and some days I hate myself. No matter what I feel, Itachi still loves me, still knows it's his fault for my conflicting emotions, and he's patient with me."
Once again I watch, waiting for the girl's reaction. Her face is scrunched up again and I'm sure her mind is running a mile a minute. "Do you... do you think Sasuke will be like his brother?"
"I know Sasuke is not Itachi. I don't know what he'll be like, I don't know where you lay on his line of importance, I don't know anything about what he'll be like. What I do know is what might happen. What you might have to deal with. I can't predict the future but I can help you be prepared for it."
It takes a second but Sakura's face softens again, a sad smile on her lips as she looks at me. "Uchiha-San?" I hum a yes, preparing for whatever she's about to say. "I'm glad I have you to help me through this."
"I'm glad I can help you through this as well, child."