The Conflicts Of Heart (MxGxM)

72. Love is fucked

The main song of this chapter is "This love" By Taylor Swift.

Ezra.

Love is fucked.

The person who said that love is beautiful and unconditional is fucked.

The people around me chattering and talking loudly while laughing amongst them are fucked.

I am fucked.

The wine glass in my hand felt as if it was on the verge of shattering from how tight I was holding it. After much persuasion and commands from Nicholas to get my shit together and go downstairs to get dinner, I finally agreed and here I am. Standing in the corner of the ongoing dinner, looking at everything and nothing in particular. 

After coming down here, Nicholas was ambushed by his co workers, while I was left in solitude...mainly because of how unapproachable and uninviting I look. Especially now that my mood is spoiled and heart crushed...no doubt that I am supporting a mean and hateful glare, with a scornful face. 

I took a sip of the sweet bitter drink in my hand and let my mind wander off. Why would she do this? Why play with our mind and feelings when it was just a fun thing and a ruse for her? Is she that cruel? Were we stupid to fall for someone we shouldn't have? Or...or maybe she does have a reason for it. Maybe she is being forced or blackmailed to do this...

'Stop being a love sick delusional puppy. She rejected you. Both of you. Get over it already.', I thought to myself bitterly. As true as it was, it doesn't hurt to think that there might be an alternate reason as to why she so cruelly and bluntly rejected us. 

'Oh come on. Even if you are right...do you actually think she would get back with you? After what you and Nicholas said? Yeah right.' I took a shuddering breath as the words I said to her earlier rang in my ears.

'Indeed Nicholas. You were just a silly girl who liked us and fell right in the traps of our affection. It was really stupid of you to let me kiss you. And your first kiss at that. Ahhh Amelia, it was...fun playing with you...and your feelings.'

I wanted nothing more but to bash my head against the nearest wall.

For suggesting the words that hurted her.

Take a pair of scissors and cut off my tongue. 

For forming the syllables that wounded her.

Pluck out my eyes with my bare hands.

For watching her weep as tears leaked out of her brown orbs.

Shred my hands with a saw.

For not holding her as she cried due to the words I...no, we uttered.

Godd...I wanted to die. Everything here reminds me of her. 

The brown chocolate stand reminds me of her gorgeous brown eyes.

The flowers on top of the tabled reminds me of the blush on her cheeks everytime we were near her.

The wine in my hands reminds me of the way her sweet lips tastes.

The night sky reminds me of her hair.

The stars of the sparkle beneath her eyes.

The river-God damn it! I quickly gulped down the last remnants of my wine and thumped the glass on the counter beside me. I raised my head and scanned the crowd for him. To see if I was the only one hurting or was he too affected by what we did. He had to be. Not because I wanted him to feel the hurt and pain...but because it would be nice to know that yes, we both wanted and liked her just as much the same, and that this evening's confrontation didn't just left me in pain, but him too.