The Conflicts Of Heart (MxGxM)

71. Not lost completely

The main song of this chapter is "Save your tears" by The Weeknd.

3rd person POV.

Amelia laid in her bed, wetting the pillow moist with her continuous tears falling down. Her eyes were red rimmed and soaked up as tears continued to fall.

She was in a featus position, curled inwards, her hand on her mouth to control in her sobs and stop them from coming out but unable to do so as the memories after memories of Mr. Rizzo and Mr. Hernandez came in her mind and the sobs grew louder and louder.

Her small, petite and fragile body jerked with violet sobs. Shaking her entire frame. Her hair was tangled, gave wet, heart aching and mind jumbled.

Was this what a true heartbreak feels like? Like the whole work is dark and gloomy and you feel as if your heart is being ripped right out of your chest? Like the lungs are begging for oxygen to come on but the pressure on it feels too heavy to do so. Like you want all of it to stop even if the only way to do so is....unalive yourself?

Her eyes shot wide open at the horrendous thought that came in her mind. 'Sucide? Really? No no... I possibly couldn't do that. Not after fighting back and forth to start a new life.' The thought was too much tempting and filled with relief to not think about it again.

Sucide?

Would it really solve her problems? Would it make all the pain go away? End her miserable life and stop it all. All the blackmail, the stalker thing, her heartbreak...all of it would go away. Just like that....poof.

With shaky and trembling hands she tried to get up, the sadness weighting upon her heavily. She had lost her will to live. The motivation and the energy to wake up in the morning and start your day. The reason to live. The way to be happy.

She has lost them.

She padded barefoot towards the bathroom but a strong wave of drizziness washed over her as she quickly stood up, reminding her of the fact that she hasn't eaten anything in the last 20 hours and by now being in this room she was missing out on dinner too. Did she care? Not even a single percent.

She quickly grabbed the headboard of the bed and tried to stay steady and not fall down. When her head felt a little calm she stood upright and walked towards the bathroom.

Each step felt as if huge and heavy shackles were tied to her legs, preventing them from moving forwards. The tears were still silently rolling down her face but she made no move to wipe them. With each step her vision felt a little more and more blur.

She went inside the bathroom and closed the door. Looking herself in the mirror, she saw the reflection of a girl who she does not recognise but feel deeply. This is what she is on the inside. All the pain, hurt, anguish, trauma and deciet has now been resurfaced and she felt like she was drowing in the water with no lifeguard or support.

♡♡

Knock.

Her head was blank.

Knock.

Her eyes were swollen shut.

Knock.

Her throat was dry and parchy from all the crying.

Knock.

She heard the unmistakable voice of Aurora call her from outside the door but her body refused to move and her eyes refused to open. "You okay in there? Answer me...I am worried about you out here.....Leah? What happened?"

She tried to open her eyes and after mich trying they did open. Her back was aching from lying on the floor where she was sprawled out due to fainting and falling down. She tried to stand up but her legs gave out and she once again collapsed on the floor.