Forbidden

Author's Notes: Olivia

Remember I mentioned I would talk about the little symbolism or foreshadowing I do in the book? Well let's talk about it, starting with Olivia.

The first symbolism we have with Olivia, which is actually one of my favorite little details in the book, is her own name. 

Of course you have noticed she is called Liv by everyone, that is her nickname, and there's only one character that never in the whole story calls her Liv, and that's Max. 

That is not a coincidence at all. 'Liv' is meant to represent what everyone else sees: the fun, cheerful, sometimes slightly irresponsible girl. 

'Olivia' is meant to represent who she really is: someone that cares too deeply, someone that gets back up every time she's knocked down, someone who chooses to see the virtue in everyone rather than their flaws (most of the time), someone who loves too much, someone who seeks family on everyone she cares for and someone who feels fear. She's vulnerable and still acts tough, but Max sees through her facade until he breaks down her barriers. 

Obviously when they meet she chooses to tell him her name is Olivia rather than Liv, which later feels like a lie because absolutely no one calls her Olivia. But in reality she had chosen to tell him who she really is, and Max truly believes that night he met the true Olivia, someone nobody else knows or understands. Not like him. 

At the beginning while they are still getting to know each other it is also mentioned that Max doesn't like to hear other people call her Olivia. It happens with Charles and with Ashley, he thinks only he can call her Olivia, everyone else should call her Liv. 

This is also due that in Max's own head, no one knows Olivia the same way he does. Even when they are just starting to know each other he believes there's a side of her nobody else sees, or nobody else deserves to see, he thinks it's just for him. That only he knows the true Olivia, everyone else knows Liv. 

Even when they get together Max will only ever call her either Olivia or Love, he would never give her an actual nickname, unlike Olivia who sometimes calls him Maxie, simply because for him Olivia is completely his (in the romantic sense, not the property sense). So because she is his, and he's the only one that truly knows her, he only calls her Olivia throughout the entire book. 

This piece of symbolism is so embedded in the story that even the omniscient narrator switches from Olivia to Liv depending on the context and who she is with.

For example: "Olivia turned to look at Max across the room and their eyes met. "

and "Charles walked alongside Liv throughout the paddock while they laughed at Carlos' hat". 

Also, whenever there is no context of anybody else in the text, just Olivia, the narrator refers to her as Olivia too. This to enforce the notion that 'Olivia' is who she really is, not Liv.

For example: "Olivia had been thinking about going out for a run the whole day. She needed to free her mind from her worries and tire her body in the hopes no nightmares would come that night".

Besides Max, there's only three more character who call her Olivia sometimes, and every time they do it, it has an intentional meaning behind. 

Those three characters are Checo, Lewis, and Pato. 

They mainly refer to her as Liv, but maybe a couple of times in the story they switch to Olivia. Also, even though they may still refer to her as Liv when they talk, the narrator switches to Olivia when there is a sign of them truly knowing who she is, or truly connecting. 

So sometimes they still call her Liv, but the narrator calls her Olivia while she is with that person, and that matters because it is a reference to who she really is and how she connects with the person who is with her.

Checo: With Checo it is pretty simple, he is her brother and the person who she loves most in the world. Her only true family. However, Checo still calls her Liv unless they are having an emotional conversation. Either he sometimes calls her Olivia or the narrator will, but the change is there. 

Lewis: at the beginning Lewis only refers to her as Liv (the narrator too), and he does that for most of the story anyways. But as he gets to know her more and more he has referred to her as Olivia maybe a couple of times. This is to symbolize their true connection, and how Lewis truly sees a part of who Olivia really is, he sees beyond the surface. 

That is also why it is mentioned multiple times that Lewis always seems to understand Liv, because he sees who she truly is, but this is evolving throughout the story because at the beginning they don't know each other at all. I believe the first time this happens is when she confides in him in Bali and tells him about her problems about Ashley's threats and meeting Max in Monaco, something she hadn't told anyone but she decides to tell Lewis despite being new friends. That is the first time the narrator switches from Liv to Olivia while she's with Lewis. 

Pato: With Pato it is different because I do not believe Pato knows who Olivia is anymore, but he knows who she used to be. And despite their differences and them not being a couple anymore, some of their old connection remains throughout the whole book. So sometimes when they are having a conversation and it refers to who she used to be, their past, their feelings for each other or her feelings for Max, the narrator refers to her as Olivia. Because even though Pato doesn't know she has changed and who she is becoming, he still knows a part of her more than anyone else. He knows the past Olivia, and that doesn't just go away simply because she's changing.  You can read this first on Dinner With an Ex.

For example: 

"You can never just lie, you always start blinking too much and you occupy yourself.. like with food" he said as he pointed to the toast she was bringing back to her mouth. Olivia almost spat out the toast as she started laughing...

That's her connection with Pato.

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So that's out first author's note, I hope you find it a bit interesting. This symbolism continues in book 2 so you can still catch it there 

I think I'll be posting some author's notes every once in  a while, there's a lot more but since I'm writing book 2 that will have priority. 

Love you byeee