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12. The Decision

Max and Olivia were silent while they sat on the ground of the rooftop for an hour, but it felt like mere minutes. It was like time had stopped and it didn't really matter what would happen afterwards, because all of the scenarios that could've been, all of the "what ifs", they were gone now. There was no turning back, and Olivia was now sure she could never be with Max. 

Images started flooding her head: Max with his pregnant girlfriend around the paddock, Liv having to photograph them for Red Bull, Max's kid being born, him getting married to Ashley. Could she really stay at Red Bull knowing all that? Could she stay at F1 at all? She didn't think so. She felt the urge of running away. It's what she usually did whenever things became too much, she ran on to the next thing and the next place. 

"I think I should go" said Olivia starting to get up.

"Please don't. Just.. just stay, I just need to think about this" he said getting up with her and lightly grabbing her arm from the wrist. 

"There's nothing to think about Max" said Olivia " if you think I would get in between you and the mother of your unborn child then you don't know me very well".

"You are not getting in between us, we were already over" he tried to explain with a pleading look in his eyes.

"And now you are not over anymore, I get it. I'm not going to be a home wrecker" she said raising her voice.

"But you are not!" he said raising his voice as well. He let out a deep breath "I don't know how to explain it Olivia because I know we just met but from that first night I just had this little voice in my head that said 'this is it '. And I think I need to listen to that voice, I think it would be a huge mistake not to. When I'm with you something just clicks, like I belong".

Yes, it sounded totally insane, but Olivia believed him because she had felt the same way. From that first night she knew that was not a random hookup; and when she woke up the next morning in his apartment she felt no shame, no fear, no need to run, she knew she was where she supposed to be. 

"I think... not following this instinct that I have of being with you may be the biggest mistake I'll ever make,  but I just don't think I can do this Max, I really don't". she said looking into his eyes, as blue as the morning sky, there was pain behind them.

"Just think about it okay? I know it's complicated, but I think we deserve to give this a chance" he said staring back into her eyes which were a brown so dark they were almost black. "Promise you'll think about it".

She took a deep breath "Alright, I promise" she conceded still looking up at him. She took in the look on his eyes and then walked out of the rooftop by herself. Max stayed behind and turned to look at the skyline again.  

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Olivia could not concentrate for the rest of the day, her first day at Red Bull was a mess. She could not think straight, every time she tried to concentrate she would relive the moment when Max told her about the pregnancy, or she would start thinking about the future which was even worst. Olivia was fresh out of college, this was supposed to be the time when she was going to find herself, to settle down, but not like this. Not by becoming a step mother for a guy she had just met. 

The knot on the pit of her stomach just grew bigger and bigger, and eventually this sharp feeling on her throat started bothering her as well. It was a pain caused by all of the things she wanted to say but couldn't. She couldn't talk about this to anyone. She had no way of processing any of this. 

At the Red Bull garage Olivia was taking some pictures of Checo checking out the new RB18.

"Liv, make sure you get some shots for Max as well" Christian said. She had been avoiding Max all morning, so of course most pictures were of Checo. 

Max had his helmet and suit on and he was practicing his emergency exit drills from the car. Once he finished he got out of the car and took off his helmet. Olivia started taking portraits of him in that moment. He looked at her and a slight smile appeared on his face as he looked straight at her. There was something behind his eyes.

"What?" asked Olivia looking up at him from behind the camera. 

"Remember when we met and you said you would take my picture one day? I didn't expect it to be like this" he said with a small smile and a shimmer in his eyes. Olivia was not sure if that shimmer was sadness or happiness. She felt like she was choking, she couldn't breath. She did not remember that moment until now. 

She put the camera down and walked out of the garage, she could feel the sharp feeling in her throat getting stronger and stronger. She couldn't breath, she started hyperventilating walking through the paddock. 

"Liv, oh my god" said this voice with a heavy accent. Liv saw flashes of red. "C'mon, come with me, it's okay" said Charles while holding her and taking her inside the Ferrari motor home. He sat her down on a couch, the place was deserted, everyone was working at the garage. "Liv what do you need? Do you need water? What's going on?" he said with a very concerned look on his face.

"I just don't think I can do this Charles" said Olivia turning to him with teary eyes. "I don't think I can be here and do this job". She did not tell him the reason why she felt she couldn't be there. That was between her, Max, and apparently Ashley.

Charles showed a kind smile "Oh Liv, it's okay you are gonna do great! I already stalked your instagram and your photographs are fantastic. You have absolutely nothing to worry about" he hugged her tight "it's all gonna be okay I promise. And hey, if Red Bull decide they don't like your pictures you can just come to Ferrari" he said reassuringly with a little chuckle at the end. Olivia held him tight. She couldn't say what she actually wanted to say but at least she felt comfort in that moment with Charles.

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Is Olivia gonna try things out with Max? Or is that over now?

I also want to introduce Olivia's ex Pato