Black On White (day by day jernal)

Augest 25th 2013 ballsy

Hey guys so I thought I'd tell u a little but bout my drinking experance.....

So the first night I had twisted tea and it was discusting..... Kim drank the most....lol

So the next night I actually got drunk so yea I had 3 coolers like the brad with the bat on it ya well I had a lemonade one first I drank mine the fastest although they had better tasting ones first I started to get a little tipsy than I had a strawberry one it was amazing so we all got to bout an even amount and it was like just below the bottom of the label

And we went to chug it so as chugging someone started to laugh me with all the 5 gulps in my mouth am dieing laughing with a full mouth so I spit it back into the bottle

Killing myself laughing and I couldn't stop and it hurt so much cuz I was laughing so hard as chocking on the rest that doesn't make it into the bottle so after I drank that. I had my last one the peaches and mango one if was good so I spilt the like skinny bottle part on me at the table than we went back not the room like with the last 2 drinks and forget the kid isn't on and dump it somehome all down my hair and face... Than drink the rest ad drink half of my other friends drink.....

Ya so lets just say that after the first night during the day all sober....

I was screaming to Kim like laugh screamm,crying to her bout the the struggle than I finally gained the balls and send the kid I like a Facebook friend request so like now 2-3 days later he haven't excepted it... -.- and as I was drunk the second night I followed him on Instagram and the 2-3 days later he hasent followed me back -.- but he liked a video of me drinking for my first ever time calling it bad on my one friends instagram..... Ya so both of my friends followed him and he followed them both back but he hasent followed me maybe cuz I sent it like a day after them and maybe he hasn't been in yet well he hasn't posted.... On either .,,, I just wanna talk to him and Kim being ...Kim asked him on fb if he knew me but he hasent replyed.... So clearly I think he's gonna figure out I like him -.- Kim's like that's the point and I'm like no!!!

You stalk them and never talk to them

Ahahahahah

And we wonder why I'm always single

So I was hanging with kellie and she started say if guys start to like u

And we both killed ourselfs laughing!!!!!!!!!

And everytime she said that we died laughing

So I never figured out what she was gonna say lolololol

But not like it matters cuz it won't happen if guys have to like me

So yea.

Lol so today I sat in all my splits

Clearly I'm trying to get flexible again

So I told Kim and she's like

splits?

Me: ya

Kim: what's that

Me: when one leg is strate out infront of you and the other is strate out behind you

Kim: ahahahahahahahah I'm laughing at myself

Me: no worrie I'm laughing at u too.

Kim:ahahahahah

Me: thank god ur pretty

Lol that's my life

So kellies kind bugging me

I told her how I hate and like cry when I see se reads my msg and dosent reply

Cuz we haven't been hanging out 24/7

And yea I can't live without her

So I told her that I dident like it

And she's doing that to me now

I swear she's pissed at me

Idfk why

I'm the same person I always was

Like I'm so frustrated

I'm done with this shit!

I fucking hate it like more than triangle hair!!!!

Ya now u know I'm serious

Like honestly with

.school

.that kid I like

.kellie

.trip

.pageant

.not knowing my future

.hitting over a year of being single

.taking out my first piercing next week

.stress

.fucking everything

.my bestest isn't okay like in life threatening conditions

.my cat always sneaking out

.cat might have a desese where we might have to put her down

Like I'm not sane

I just want life to get better

To know why things r happening

I know there's a reason

What's the reason tho?

Like fuck I know I screwed up

I just don't know

I'm done with people I'm gonna clean everything to keep my mind free and go for a fun and go for a walk I don't know where just where ever my feet take me ALONE

I need to redeem myself and just take a recording of everything I need to say turn it into written and post it.

I need air and sleep

I haven't slept properly at all.

I just want someone to hug right now

Brb gonna smuggle my cat...

Dads leaving at 4am and will be gone for 8 days imma miss him call him every night say I love him

I hope he dosent get in a car crash or that freaking gang shit I hope he dosent die..... I love him so much

He's my daddy my biggest role model

Omfg so I talk to my gramma today I don't know what im gonna do when she's no longer around I call her at least once a week and we talk forever on ends she's getting up there in age and sometime when I call her I cry cuz I miss her so much....

She's gonna be the first one I see when I go home ill never let he go.

So I got the news today.....

We can't go home for Christmas this year.......

Because of me...the pageant

I feel so bad I miss everyone so much

I know I'm okay here things should be getting better soon like hopefully this week and next week..,,,

But back home is where I'd rather be over anywhere over Trevor Moran

I know my family's not well with age come having to take so many things to stay alive and it scares me..,,,

Idk it's that time of the year to go back to school it stresses me out ....

I just wanna be happy I'm happy but life isn't letting me be 100% thanks you mother fucking life!lol

So I got a backpack today it's black leather flip lid bag u know the style that's really in ATM it's from target and I got a FAKE raccoon tail that I clipped onto the flip open lid where it clips to the bag it's so cute and me.

I loveu

✌🍉❤

🌙💤