Black On White (day by day jernal)

January 25th 2014

Hey everyone!

How r u all...

I miss writing and I think I should be writing more especially with everything going on my stress is kinda threw the roof and it's showing in my skin.. my skin looks like shit!

But yea so yesterday ..Friday

I was talking to camper again( guy I really like) and he's like "do u care if people know about us?"

Of course I said no I don't care .

And he said " okay because I told blah blah blah and the girl I use to dance with. and they said awe ...ect." (u get the point) "by the way I like u, but ur shy so."

And omfg like I was like literally dead because he likes me and liked me enough to talk about me!

And also my mom told my gramma and so she was asking me so many questions.

But what no adult knows is that I like him or that he likes me...

And I like it that way. I really wanna talk to him or suggest to hang out one day.. but ya know there's always that super shy anxiety filled part of me.

But I can trust him with anything like he is so easy to talk to its like in humanly!

He's sooo sweet and I can't even!

We couldn't talk much today I said I would txt him back after the movies but it ended at 12:30pm so I didn't think that was actually socially excitable.

So I Dident and now I'm writing I'm actually at the pats for the night and we went to see the new hobbit movie.. it was really good. and left on a giant cliff hanger! I liked it.

Omfg my uncle knoby after the movies...

So the pats had to go back into the theatre because they had lost the keys so there's knoby , Steve and I all in the back seat.. and knobys like "I'm gonna lock the doors * locks car doors * don't wanna get raped...... with my sexy ass they'll be swarming."

Omfg! it was SOO funny at the time like I couldn't even..

I wish I could be Txting him right now ( camper) I really wanna hang out with him... somehow, I don't think school is the best way tho... I really want him to go to the dance next thursday... that would be cool than we could hang out there ... but I'm not gonna hint at it till the announcement comes up in school so he understands the hit and than he will know about the dance so it will be easier to bring up. because not many people know about it, I only know because I have friends in leadership who are planning it.

Or like I hope I'm not the only one that fantasizes about perfect relationships or perfect ideal times with a crush.

But maybe if both things got brought up both the dance and hanging out.

Than maybe we could hang out than go to the dance together ya know what I mean like take a risk and him come over and we like go for a walk or whatever than we would go back to my place and hangout as I got some friends ready..... idk I don't think that would ever happen or turn out well or be possible but who knows... it sounds pretty good other than getting my friends ready and him coming to my house because of my family....but other than that I think it would be chill.. I don't think guys should ever see a girl get ready tho....

That's my only problem also it could be boring for him...

I really like him :(

But if we could like walk home one day and hang out after school one day that would be a great way to actually like talk in person and just have a good time... but once again we bump into the problem of my family -.- idfk I sound like an idiot fantasizing but I just need to talk and if that's what comes out than that's what comes out....idk it's just not gonna be the same going to the dance or getting ready with out narsh and kellie because narh moved out of town and kellie has survive air , because she's a cadet.(btw so proud of her!) witch is fine it just won't be the same.

Getting ready is like the whole half of it, it's like my favourite part.

Idk I'm sharing a couch with my brother right now.. it's a "L" couch so I got the longer half lol and there's an outlet but it's further away than my cord can reach :(

Like I feel as if, if we talked in person and hung out than I would be so opened for a committed relationship and for him to meet my parents ( first my mom when dads not home) and I feel as if I could go places with him and just be super cute and I wouldn't want to hide it... I would be fine with people knowing and I would be proud. I don't understand why some people don't want others to know about their relationship because if u like them and ur dating them I don't know why anyone should be ashamed of that.

So u went tanning today and yea I got a tan it worked! I'm gonna end up getting 10 more in 2 weeks ... because the pageant isn't next weekend but the one after so omf so close I can't even.

Omg he said he would teach me how to ski! Like what? someone actually willing to put up with me? like he knows how imbaressing and clumsy I am.

K so I just thought I'd tell my thoughts today because I can't sleep and it's like quarter to 2am... the next day ..

Urgh I have toothpaste on my face hopping it will calm my freaking face!!

Like god I look terrible like eww.

Well ill talk to u all later.

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