Black On White (day by day jernal)

Im a fucking wreak

Idk maybe after non stop Txting and Skype calls till 3am to nothing no txts but having time to follow some chick on Instagram can do this shit to someone.. maybe it's just me who can't handle this shit.

But idk... idk

I hate how I get so fuckinh attached

Oh and there he goes liking my photo but go forbid to txt me back.

Only the fuckinh comment is about him. idk.

Like I get so fuckinh attached and emotional like my music is blasted so fuckinh loud I can't really hear myself ccrying

Oh yea fucking crying with everything. I'm litterally done like could he fucking not toy with me so fucking much?

Like I just wanna wrap my hands around his neck strangle him, kiss his fuckinh face than make sure he can't fuckinh breath.

Just him liking my photo stopped my makeup from running even more as I'm curled up under my electric blanket listening to sappy shit.

Idk I just wish I would talk to him right now. like anything txt Skype anything.

I really just want to talk. maybe even tell him to stop toying with my fucking heart and than I like him so much I would die for him to be my first kiss and how I want a tumblr relationship and like I want shit to be real and it too last over the years, that I want cute date nights and to run around in the dark with him. to run away and never look back.

To take him around the world and take cute pictures and hold hands in public.

I want to throw rock at people with him and chase cars.

To go on long walks and watch the sunset. to freeze out in the cold just to be around him.

I want him to know that I don't want this to die and I have hope in us.

Than his existence takes up all my thoughts!

How his laugh and smile just make me melt, its the most adorable thing ever!! how he could do anything and ill still drewl over him and his perfection.

How everything he does is perfect and no matter how much pain he puts me threw I won't get over the little shit.

How I remember how I first saw him and everything about that weekend..

I wish he could know the feels. and how he's so adorable and hot as fuck! smooth as butter like hello can I have u in my fucking bed! like I'd love to fuckinh cuddle with him and lay on him with out any awkwardness or sexual thoughts.

And that I'm so shy around him trying to be perfect for him and live up to all the amazing things he calls me on a daily basis!

And how sorry I am for being such a fuck up! and that I'm so challenged!

Praise his sole for putting up with me!

I just wish I could talk to him right now because I would tell him tthis maybe just read it to him so he know the real shit that I wish he know.

But I'm a chicken shit like skinny love. and probably never tell him any of this.

I'm not gonna eat today I'm just gonna sleep when ever I get the cchance

Ill talk to him tomorrow when no ones around and probably just hug him if I can.

Just throw myself on him like the desprite love sick lol shit I am who has fallen for him many to many times.

But tbh it was worth the chase ever for the little while it lasted. that confidence won me a tittle and there's no way I could ever! ever! repay him for that! for making me feel like something.

I fuckinh hate how I feel this way about him and how attached I am... but he's worth the pain❤