Black On White (day by day jernal)

September 11th 2013

So yea I guess today umm trying or was trying to make good although it was actually not the best..... So usally I would say imbaressing and just not go into any detail but I guess it life and than u can really understand how fucked my life is....so the first bad thing happened at like the beginning of gym or something....so yea lets just say we had to do a warmup run and I was in a boob tube and it ripped and the padding fell out and is still laying in the field at our school so idk if anyone saw or got the jist it bring mine and me being an exorcist trying to keep the other one in trying to do like running work and all that....and than at break idk my friend pointed out that my bald spot is shown to the world but idc if ppl see it like rlly oh well..... Than like idk I still don't have my homework done witch I should have it done cuz it was sapose to be in today but so I hand it in tomorrow.... But it's not done and I dident bring it home .... So yea and I got pointed out in the hallway to put my iPod away infront of ppl in my class like semi prep guys in my class... Than to top off the shityness of school well I was hanging after the last bell cuz my brother takes forever so I talked to a friend and I'm blabbing on to myself and my friend said "what r u even saying?" And I hear a voice "what r u even saying" I turn and it's no other than the guy I really like so my jaw drops and it scared the shit outta me heart racing like its gonna fall outta my mouth and die on the floor and I see him look at me and my mouth won't close that stupid face won't go away till he turns the corrner yep I'm playing it cool.... So on top of that... Kellie comes around the corner _______ just hugged me.... So now the guy I like hugs kellie and apparently they don't get along .... So yea.... I get home and my mom calls if te house is spotless we'll look at phones tomorrow .... So we rush to clean I invite kellie over ad she's upset..... So I try rlly hard to help while cleaning and shit than she's okay stopped crying and yea so I ask her when and she told me before last block on my way there and I'm like oh than she said it was in the gathering area and it was long than he said she needed a hug and yea..... Personally I think that's so sweet and perfect and yea!!! But so later on narsh helps convince me to talk to him cuz he's online so I do and he doesn't even read it 5 min go by....10min go by 15 min...20 min.... 30min still haven't read it so I go to my kitchen due to people yelling at my cat... Ohh yep my indoor cat brought in a mouse.... So we finally get it out and I go back to my computer and he's offline!! I look yep he dident even read it... So right now my feelings r like shit down the hole gone nothing apsalotly nothing like I'm crushed by my crush ahahahahah get it no but leggit like I wish I dident make a large fool outta myself I wish he liked me I wish we talked I wish it could just be perfect and we maybe hook up I know he's a player ad it won't be like a perfect long relationship it'll mostlikly be like all my others awkward and a week long but I've actually had time to think this one threw and like actually get to full on like him and be like Kay I'd be ready for this.... I hope I'm not the only gurl that hopes this like rlly it's been over a year since I've actually talked or like touched a guy I know that sounds wrong but like hugged or danced (that actually was with someone I like(d) ) so yea like the only guy I've ever hugged is my last ex from back home last suggest sometime like the second week or so idk but yea before the 19th we had gt together and broke up that's what I think cuz of my bar I don't remember anything of it with him so yea imma go with that..well imma go to sleep Im actually tired can't wait to get outta this hell hole although its only for a weekend....

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