Black On White (day by day jernal)

May 14th 2013

Hey so I know it's been really long but I swear I hope to get back to you with news so un yeah ...lets just start off saying I swear I have anxiety and anxiety attacks too like legitimetly I can't breath and just so nervous and crows in my stomach so yeah today was the worst yesterday was bad too due to making myself a fool because my gym teacher gives me dirty looks as I'm performing so I did it again and all teachers watched me and gave me that dirty look like I was a cocky stuck up know it all dumb bitch so I was smiling and making sassy dance faces as my group laughed at me so I'm yeah I guess I got my point across to actually try to look happy infront of me..... So now lets start on today I wake up super late do bad on makeup and get to school my first teacher gives me shit my foods and fashion teacher for not having work done but I missed days due to dance and can't bring her work home so yeah she told me to move so I didn't she took my chair and I stood ruining my knees even more.... Fuck her! Next I had math and science and I got randomly pulled out if class for him to ask about my life due to my grade dropping aka him dropping more fucking stress on me witch is causing the fucking problems .... Fuck him too! Break.. Well fuck it's break what do u expect ... Home room l.a and social studies she came and gave me the same talk bout grades ..,,. Fuck her! Language yea I sat quiet and pretended to work, like always. Gym well fuck suprize beep test well I can say I was cocky cuz back in gr.6 I made it to level 22 and if I knew I would have ate food to have energy... But no! Fuck her! Track and field team was picked ... The fuck how the fuck they pick 22 people per grade with top marks in everything gym.. And I know they all hate me... So I wasn't picked first time ever cuz in Ontario we competed to make it in and every year I made it for 800m 1500m and triple jump to Reginals and county's so yea I hard life and there was like only one girl chosen and it was a teachers child really? I honestly don't fucking know why she hates me sooo much like I try to be SOO nice like kissing and praying to her toes like I'm honestly so nice to her but I guess she need a sweet thing to step on and dig her toes into .. I called my gramma she's pissed at her lol my gramma had been kicked out of every school if mine oh how I love and miss her SOO much she honestly means the world to me I almost started to cry on phone with her as I am now but good thing is kellie and I r getting are belly buttons pierced tomorrow idk what I'm doing with buying jewelry so yeah beep test just showed me how outta shape ive gotten I just wanna go home so badly anywhere but here I love u

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