Black On White (day by day jernal)

December 3rd 2012

So last night I didn't get any sleep -.- so waking up was just...."lovely" -.- nope I knew I had to present my gymnastics today 😥. Just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach like till it hurt aching pains all over my belly and like a 50 pound weight was in my chest so painful and hard to breath! What the hell was wrong with me? I creeped out of bed 30min after I was woken up the cold creeped into my bones I was cold strate to my bones no inch of warmth or comfort! So I got dressed, my outfit was almost like the same as when quiff kid noticed me ❤ I thought it would be risky to wear it again like the morning I first wore that shirt like I did its a knit shirt so u can kinda see threw it and I wore a nude bra under it so if u were up like super close like beside me in a line u could tell I wasn't wearing an undershirt.... But with black pants the sad story about the pants are I Bedazled smily faces on the ass pockets and an eye from one of the pockets fell off -.- so sassy! Lol so I crawled out of the house due to my nervous pains! I got to school almost tripping on my moms wedges there boots winter ones with wedges soo cute ❤ lol but I got in okay😊 art I got to the room and sat down the gym teacher walked down the hall and I threw myself out the door to Stop and talk to her... I left my gym sheet thingy at home but it was really miss leading with aeros and definitions and all so can I write it out..? I asked.

She looked at me like I was on drugs! Well I was talking a lot with my hands and taking kinda fast.

Okay? She said

I smiled as said thanks and walked away😃

My friends came by and we walked back to the 8 hall? I didn't know or care why... I just looked like I smoked pot all morning did a terrible job on my foundation-.- and the begs under my eyes ugggghhh don't wanna talk about it-.- so as where walking back to the art room where talking about cats and huge ass cats so if u walked by it knows sounded dirty if u where me and my sick mind.... So who walks by..? Quiff kid😃 so me and my awks convo my shitty makeup and my strange friends yeah holly shit imma hottie -.- lol + plus me looking like I've been smoking shit.... Yep so sexy I am..-.- lol yeah my friend slightly behind us told us ...that dude just looked at u like what? Kinda like ur on drugs " yep imma hottie!-.-

Well I be legit with u guys ive been seeing h!m a lot in the halls idk but imma keep how spell check put a ! As the I in him.. Lol my life... Sorry guys u keep on saying I look like I'm on drugs if that offends u I'm sorry I legit I swear I don't do drugs it's just not me just when I'm tired that's what I look like lol..so I got to art and made my gymnastics page thingy it's rainbow so yeah class dismissed ya da ya da ya da...., math and science I have to go pee! No biggie it's not to long I can wait till break ....fuck no! I really had to go! Ad the teacher kept on dragging and dragging the class into break as my face turned red and me tapping my feet the sound of the tapping became noticeable to other people im like exploding with pee! Finally class was dismissed.. I put my binder away In locker quickly grab my bag and just let in sit in the full hall way.. As I rush to the washroom turn on the tap and take me pee! The thing about the tap is i don't like ppl hearing me pee so I turn on the tap so u can't hear me peeing😃 how smart!

So yeah I come back to the empty hall and my bag just sitting in the middle of the empty hall.... Wow! So I got to the gathering area.... And on my way guess who? Was like in the middle as I quickly rush my eyes away from him as speed up for some reason every time I see him my jaw slightly drops so I have the dramatic mouth slightly look kinda sweet insect and desperate.. Lol Idk why it just happens so my heart started to race like normal...I walked over to my friends as the announcements came on..."outdoor recesses time to clean up" I didn't get to eat and going out in this weather was bull shit! I dragged my empty pained self back to the 8 hall no quiff kid.. Thank god! So at break I kinda hung out with this gurl nerdy but like super pretty cooned bangs and just very pretty but not popular ohh yeah she's a 9 (gr9) so yeah we hung out in niarnia where the ground is almost always white and it's so cold u can't breath threw your nose u can try but I can't breath! Leggit!! Sp yeah umm idk what was special about today? ....oh yeah so...let's just skip to gym... We wen walking there walking quite quick i was shaking and badly like I felt like I had to hold onto someone to keep my balance and not fall and quiff kid came from the 7 hall ahead of the rest of the nines I was like looking at him as I walked he looked at me a couple of time I was like look away look at him again as again and again! Grrrrr I bet he thinks me and my drunk looks are creeping him! Like I couldent help it ,it was strange but yeah! I quickly got changed shivering and quivering my voice was shaky too I brought my awkwardly rainbow scroll looking paper into the class put in down by my friends and got my piercing changed...I say back down trying to control my shakiness from nervousness and the cold from the gym! Holly fuck !,it was cold! I ran to a mat and slowly took my time to gain myself and stretch and a good stretch... I practest my moves than my name got called maybe a little too soon!bi got ready handed her the page and got ready!... This was it! All my pains and stress, I better not fuck up! And I started the mat was huge and hard! Slippery.. Totally fucked up-.- do I did the right thing to ask to practice my moves on the mat because it's different and slippery she walked away and I pracetested I got it I called her over and nailed it! Everything ! It was tiring I was huffing and puffing!

"that was great not like ive ever seen u made my day" she said with no emotion or enthusiasm at ALL! I said thank you and walked away tired! I sat down and my name was called again! Really like wtf? I walked over half panting... Can u do the routine they I made myself and had to do it on the 2 mats that the 9s do for there group performances! For all the teachers I know the other kids arnt aloud to watch but I knew ever kid and adult there where watching not a peep from anyone as I fucked up on the big mats everyone watching... Quiff kid I bet too... So I ficked up on my chest stand roll like I have no bones so a balance on my chest and chin with my feet dangling over my head as my feet touch the ground and I go threw a bridge and recover... Nope just a very shitty balance. So from there I forgot and Made it up as I went as I was flexed feet and couldn't stop it. I was tired and stressed... Fuck now I think I didn't smile fml -.- so that's life.. Everyone was impressed well teachers so yeah... They found it amazing best they've seen in there life as I see it as shitty and the worst I could get -.- I'm such a perfectionist... So I'll write back later tonight ✌🍉❤