Too Much Clickbait - Sequel to Clickbait

15

My lungs felt like the air had been sucked out of them. I sat on the window sill that was more like a twin bed, staring out the window of the New Jersey hospital room. My eyes were fixated on the trees that made up the small forest next to the hospital. I tried to used the leaves to calm me down, watching them sway in the wind, though this did nothing for me. I breathed on the mirror, creating a thick layer of fog. I drew a heart with my right pointer finger, exhaling deeply when I watched it slowly fade away. I tilted my head at the monitors, a dark cloud forming around my head while I began to reminisce on the sounds they made when they beeped the entire night prior. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I stared at the empty hospital bed. A voice echoed in through the doorway, causing me to jump off of the window sill. "There was nothing you could have done."
I felt my chest begin to crumble inside of myself as my voice cracked. My voice was so low I could barely hear it with my own ears. "How did you know to come here?"
"Brennen called me when you were on your way here." Gabbie confirmed. "I hope you don't mind, but everyone is in the lobby waiting. Brennen was giving us play by play... How did it happen?"
"My grandfather died of natural causes a few months ago." I started.
"Why didn't any of us know?" Gabbie was slightly hurt by the tone in her voice, though I didn't understand why.
"I only ever told Brennen because no one else spoke to me at the time." I shrugged, continuing. Gabbie looked taken back, watching her feet shift her weight before she looked back at me with an apologetic expression. "My grandma just couldn't live without him."
"I'm so sorry." Gabbie shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ears. Her eyes filled up with tears as she slowly opened her arms up. I hesitated for a moment. "Come here."
I jumped at Gabbie, tackling her into a hug. I felt her begin to cry into my t-shirt, squeezing me harder than she ever had before. I felt her begin to slightly rock me back and forth as she rubbed my back, trying to calm me down as I sobbed. She pulled me apart as I cleared my throat. "I just need you to help with arrangements."
"Anything." Gabbie smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Let's get out of here."

*****

The day had been one, large blur. For the majority of it, Gabbie had taken me to the funeral home to begin to arrange everything. My mind had been so clustered, I don't remember any of the details I even agreed upon. Brennen was smart enough to know that I wouldn't be in the right headspace to call, so he proceeded to send me pictures of Charlie doing random activities throughout the day to make me smile. Although I could only send back small hearts, I knew he understood how much I appreciated his being. He had sent me a long message, explaining that the moment I agree he will be on the next flight to Jersey, but I refused to do that to Charlie as he would lose his mind on a plane and I wouldn't dare leave him alone yet.
I was currently inside of my grandparents house, going through random photos on the old, beige sofa in the living room of the mother-daughter style house. I had sent everyone off to a local hotel, paying for them to stay in multiple rooms for the remainder of the weekend. They all tried to refuse me, but I had already booked them in the middle of the argument. Gabbie didn't want to leave me though, however I assured her I would be completely fine. I grazed my fingers over a childhood photo of my grandparents and mother, realizing how closely I resembled my grandmother.
I felt a shiver wrap around my shoulders and for a moment, I questioned if it was my grandmother wrapping her arm around me. I looked to my right, smiling lightly, before closing and folding the photo album onto the glass coffee table in front o me. I walked towards the hallway and to the guest bedroom that was mine growing up,. I walked inside admiring the light blue walls that they had used to cover up my old mint green ones when I first moved out. I went to the queen with all white bedding where my black suitcase laid on top of. I opened it up, grabbing a large, plain, black t-shirt. I stripped off all of my clothes, throwing the shirt on and kicking my dirty clothes off to the side. I threw my suitcase down in front of my bed after putting on a pair of black boxer shorts with a small, satin bow on the very middle in the front.
Walking out into the living room again, I threw my hair into a side braid, not wanting to deal with it right now. As I finished up my braid quickly, going to isit back down, the doorbell rang. I regretfully walked to the door,praying it wasn't someone looking for either one of my grandparents and I would have to break the news to them. I looked through the peephole, not seeing anyone for a moment. Just as I was about to walk away, the bell rang again. I furrowed my brow, opening up the door a dcrck to peek out. Realizing who was on the other side, I slowly opened the door wider. "Uhm... Hi."
"I, ugh..." I was at a loss for words, gripping the dark, wooden door until my knuckles turned white.
"I heard what happened from Amber... She would have come, but she didn't think it was her place to." Heath said, almost as dumbfounded at himself for being herre as I was.
I looked Heath up and down, seeing his suitcase was still in his hand as if he had come straight here from the airport. He wore his black basketball shorts and a sloppy, red t-shirt that I knew he strictly worse for bedtime, making me realize he must have come in the middle of the night. "That was sweet of her. I'll text her and thank her."
There was a long pause where Heath nor I knew what to say or do. He looked over my shoulder s few times, as if he was inspecting the home. "May I come hin?"
"Are you sure that's appropriate?" I raised an eyebrow.
Heath looked astonished that I would ask before giving me an look of sympathy. I knew he didn't have anything to rebuttal with, so i opened the door wider. I went towards the couch, immediately wrapping myself in an oversized, extremely thick, black, grey, and white aztec printed blanket. Heath closed and locked the door behind him, shocking me as he never used to remember to take the extra step to lock it when we were together. He placed his suitcase o the side of the all black television stand, walking over to me. He looked between the couch and the loveseat next to it, opting for the matching loveseat. He looked at me in my cocoon of a blanket. "You look like the stay puff marshmallow dude went to Coachella."
I tried to process what Heath had just said, pausing for a moment. I felt a grin spread across my face as one spread across his, busting out in a fit laughter. I shook my head as I laughed, adjusting myself so I sat cross-legged on the couch. "I hate you."
Heath and I calmed down, a now comfortable silence between us. I felt him staring at me, making me slightly uncomfortable. "I know this isn't an appropriate time, but... I wanted to talk to you." I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. He sat forward, resting his elbows on the tops of his thighs as he held his hands together. He looked up at me from underneath his black snapback, his eyes becoming doe-like. "I wanted to say... I'm sorry."
"You're drunk." I snorted, not believing him. Heath looked at me seriously until I stopped smiling. I furrowed my brow as I spoke. "How much did David pay you?"
"Nothing-"
"Liza?" I cut him off.
"Katie-"
"Scott?"
"No, Katie. I-"
"Elton?" I raised an eyebrow, not thinking it was him but also knew he was the only other one with money to spare.
"Katie, stop." Heath put his hands out, making me stop guessing. He went back to his original position, speaking to me in a calm voice once again. "No one paid me off, I swear. I've just been... It's going to be exactly a year in a week and three days."
I tried not to let the fact that he remember to a 'T' our engagement party's original date, continuing to question him. "You wouldn't be here if Amber really knew you were in a house alone with me."
Heath stretched back, rubbing the back of his neck and fixing his hat nervously. He began to rub the back of his shoulder while he spoke, which I had come to learn was another nervous tick he had when he was being put on the spot. His voice became baby-like as if that would make wheat he was saying any better. "I may or may not have lied and said that you were just a random friend."
"You have to be fucking kidding me." The hurt in my voice evident as I watched Heath shake his head wildly to backtrack his statement.
"She knows I was engaged and she knows I had a very public relationship as a whole..." Heath started, going back to rubbing the back of his shoulders a he spoke. "She just doesn't know it was you?"
I stared in amazement, shaking my head rapidly. "Does she not have fucking google?"
Heath gave me a look as if to tell me to shut up and be nicer when speaking about her. "She doesn't like social media as a whole, but she really hates technology more. It's a nice refreshment." Heath realized what he had said, backtracking yet again as I looked down at the ground. "I didn't... I didn't mean it how it sounded."
"Yes, you did." I smirked, trying to hide the pain I felt though I knew Heath could see right passed it. I silently cursed myself for knowing each other so well as I continued to elaborate. "We found polar opposites of each other because both of us needed it."
"You went for a pretty boy." Heath shook his head, almost disgusted. "You know... I would have understood if you ended up dating Zane. Fuck... I would have understood Jason more than I understand you with Brennen!"
I laughed, rolling my eyes as I pointed at him for emphasis underneath my blanket. "You're with someone in college! Not to mention, a full ride! I don't think you are one to talk."
There was another pause as I could hear Heath's laugh fade into a thoughtful process. He stared off at the coffee table before looking back up at ne. "I know I don't really get the right to pry into your life anymore... But he treats you well, right?"
I didn't hesitate to answer, catching Heath off guard. "He's one of the most amazing people I've ever met." Heath nodded his head, looking back at the coffee table until my words shocked him. "If I had to choose any girl that wasn't me for you to be with, I would choose Amber every single time. She's amazing, Heath."
Heath smiled lightly and I could tell he was imagining her face for a moment. "She really is... I'm... I don't deserve her."
"Yes you do." I smiled brightly, trying not to show any envy. Heath tilted his head at me reminding me of a puppy and suddenly I had the incessant desire to be back home to ug Charlie. "I fucked you over harder than any other human being will ever do to you. You deserve everything good in life and more."
Heath paused for a moment, shaking his head no as he was in deep thought. He looked back at me, exhaling a breath I had not realized he was holding onto. "I... I don't care about you and Zane as much as I thought I did. I think I was more mad at the total backstabbing. Like... It's not like you cheated. Because you didn't, we were on a break. And I should have..." Heath rubbed his face, beginning to become stressed. "I should have sucked up my pride and have a conversation way sooner than now and for that, I'm sorry. But... I forgive you. I don't forget what you did and it still hurts to think about... I still get sick when I think about it and sometimes I get re-mad at Zane about it. But... I am not mad at you at all anymore. I actually just miss having you in my life... Not in a relationship way." Heath laughed tat the memories he described, making me smile as I felt a few tears make their ways down my cheeks without me realizing it until they fell. "I miss when you would, like, hit me up at late hours because you knew I would be up to grab food before we even started dating. And I want to go fishing with you again because you're the only one in L.A that knows how to do it well... I just want to be your friend again."
I smiled, patting the couch cushion next to me. Heath hesitated before sitting next to me, turning to face me. I opened my arms through my blanket and Heath smiled, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist as I hugged around his shoulders. The threat from his body under th blanket made my body feel like I was in a toaster that smelled of cigarettes and overpriced cologne, making me instantly be sent in a time machine to the times we would lay under the covers and talk for hours at a time. I felt him lightly kiss my shoulder, though it could have been hopeful thinking. I began to cry as I spoke into his shoulder. "I know this is a lot to ask, but do you mind if you stay here? I'll get you a hotel tomorrow, but just for the night. You can take the guest room and I'll take their old room. I just... I would ask Gabbie, but-"
"It's not the same." Heath finished my sentence for me as I pulled away from him. I felt a sense of yearning as his arms left my body. "I have no problem in the world. But I'll take the couch, I stayed on it last time I was here and it was the comfiest thing on Earth."
"My grandmother thought you were insane." I giggled at the memory of when I took Heath to meet them for the first time, almost a month before the proposal. "She thought you and I were lowkey fighting because you wouldn't sleep on my bed with me."
"You're the pussy that doesn't sleep in open areas." Heath said in a mocking tone when he emphasized 'open areas.
I pushed him jokingly, still not leaving any of my limbs outside of my blanket, and rolling my eyes. "Help me sort through some of this stuff." I jutted my head towards the large, blue, plastic bin filled with photos and other knick-knacks to the right of the couch. Heath smiled, already beginning to go through a photo album with me.