Too Much Clickbait - Sequel to Clickbait

28

     It was the evening that Amber was leaving and we had remained silent the entire way to LAX. I held her hand the entire way, praying the traffic would somehow stop us from getting to her flight on time and she would end up staying here. It was as if she had read my mind as we pulled off the exit and it was a clear run to the airport. "You wanted this more than me."
     I cleared my throat, feeling like I was just slammed with a hundred bricks straight to the gut. "You're the dumbass that got a fucking master's degree."
     Amber turned her head at me quickly and I felt her stare boring into the side of my head. "Say it to my face, bitch." I shook my head no rapidly, trying not to laugh as I focused on driving. "Say it to my face! Turn the fuck to the side, bitch!"
     We pulled into her terminal and I finally looked at her with beady eyes, praying she wouldn't swing if I guilt tripped her. "I just wanted to make you smile, is all."
     "How about I shove my suitcase up your asshole and we will see who's smiling then?" Amber barked, her fake angered expression turning into a grin. She slowly got out of her side of the truck and I hesitated. She looked back at me, her arms out stretched. "Oh, so you just gonna drop me off like a cheap hooker?"
     I laughed, getting out of the truck and walking over to her side. I grabbed her suitcases for her and dropped them on the ground, giving her a once over over. She smiled at me as she lowered her arms, biting the inside of her cheek. I felt my chest cave in as I attempted to soak in every ounce of her face I could into my brain. "Is it too late to say I think this was a wrong choice."
     Amber shook her head, her bottom lip quivering as she walked over to me and latched her arms around my waist tightly. I felt her begin to squeeze with all her strength, slightly taking the wind out of me. I did the same around her shoulders, grabbing her black, leather jacket until my hands were shaking. I kissed the top of her head, listening to her mumble as I moved my hand to intertwining into her hair. "I'm sorry. You can come with me, it's okay. The place they rented for me could totally fit you. It's-"
     "You have your own dreams like I have mine." I kissed he top of her head once more before pulling her back to cup her face with my hands. I stroked my thumbs gently on her skin, admiring her always-perfect skin. I attempted to wipe away a few tears, though I knew my face began to be just as badly stained as hers. "You need to go and do this just like I need to stay here. I'll be there in a few weeks to visit, baby, you know that."
"What happens if you don't love me when I get back?" Amber's sobbing made it nearly incoherent to heart her heart wrenching words.
"You're crazy if you think I don't have a countdown on my phone until January forth, babygirl." I rested my forehead against hers, her lips grazing mine as I spoke in a lower tone to her. "I couldn't care about any other female if I tried. You're who I want."
"You promise?"
I held out my pinky, a small smile appearing on her face quickly, and almost immediately disappearing when she realized what we were promising. "I promise, Amber."
She threw her arms around my shoulders tightly, kissing the side of my neck before meeting my face as I snaked my arms around her waist. "I love you so much."
I kissed her quickly, speaking against her lips. "I love you, too."
And just like that, a fire in my chest appeared. Not because I was sad or hurt or even excited for Amber, but because I realized that I had been an absolute, complete and utter idiot for the last few months. I began to question whether or not it was I who was at fault or maybe I was just going crazy as I hugged, showering her neck in kisses.
The first time I uttered the phrase 'I love you' to her was also the last time I could have ever done it in person for a while.