Why Me? [Exo Fanfic]

Chapter 9.

~KAIL'S P.O.V~

I can't believe this. I never thought, that Derek would stoop this low.  Yes, he abused me and cut me. He made me feel low about myself. But not this, never this. Why? Why would he suddenly change his mind? I couldn't stop thinking about it. I let him do it. I could have tried harder to get away. The guys all tried talking to me but I couldn't stop thinking about what happened.A half of me feels like I need someone to cry on but the other half just wants to be alone. I feel disgusting. I need a shower.

I got up and headed to the bathroom. Lucky thing there's one in this room. I sighed and stripped from my clothes. There were red marks all over my stomach, every time I glanced at it I felt like breaking down. I felt like giving up. I sighed and shook my head at my thoughts before hopping into the shower, I turned on the shower and started scrubbing my body with my loofa. I didn't care if I was scrubbing to hard, I needed to feel clean. But I can never feel clean or innocent again. My innocence is gone. 

I washed the soap off of my body and quickly dried my skin before putting on my undergarments and as I was about to put on my clothes, a shiny object caught my eyes. 

A razor. I haven't cut in months. I have been clean from this fir for long now. But just the sight of it made my pulse faster and my palms slightly sweaty. A sudden urge to grab it sinked into my mind and it was like I couldnt control my limbs. I grabbed the razor and placed it on my wrist, just one cut. I ran the razor across my wrist and the feelings of both relief and pain washed over my body. But I needed more. I made another cut, then another, and another, I kept doing it till I heard a knock on the door. I dropped the blade and looked down at the freshly opened flesh on my wrist before a voice spoke from outside the door.

"Kail? Are you okay? You've been in there for almost an hour now" I heard a voice ask, it sounded like D.O but I stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Kail?" he called once more.

"U-uh yes?" I stuttered, as I grabbed toilet paper and tries to clean the blood off of my hands.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice lacing with concern.

I sighed, "I-I'm fine Kyungsoo"

Why do I keep stuttering? I hate it when I'm not good at lying. Which is always.

"You don't sound fine, Kail, can I come in?" he asked,

He wants to come in? Here? In the bathroom. I shook my head but then realised he can't see me.

"D.O I'm fine. Please, go away." I said, I think I sounded harsh.

I heard him sigh and then I heard footsteps leaving, I heard my bedroom door close shut and sighed in relief. I washed my wrist and put on my clothes. I opened the bathroom door and as I walked into the room my heart almost stopped. The lump in my throat getting bigger, my hands getting sweaty.

There stood Lay, Sehun, Xiumin, Tao and Kyungsoo. I didn't know if I should yell at them about giving me privacy or be scared of them seeing my wrist-

I didn't cover up my wrist yet and it was still red and visable. I quickly put my hands behind my back,

"Kail" D.O said breaking the silence,

"Yes?" I stammered,

"What were you doing?" He continued,

"Taking a bath." I answered shortly.

I studied their expressions and Tao looked concerned, D.O looked blank as usual, Xiumin looked sad, Lay looked worried and Sehun looked angry.

Sehun and Lay walked up to me, "Can we see your hands?" Lay said softly, I shook my head and looked at Sehun, he looked me in the eyes and I saw sadness, worry and anger.

"Kail. Let us see your hands." Sehun said, I could tell he was trying not to shed tears, he was trying to cover it up by anger. I couldn't say anything at the time. Their perspectives on me are about to change.

I stood still not moving an inch, Xiumin muttered something under his breath and walked up to me, he grabbed my hands and held them infront of me, "Why Kail?!" Xiumin yelled at me causing me to flinch.

Tao walked out of the room, he's probably mad at me. Who wouldn't be? D.O walked up to me and held one of my hands,

"Kail. Why?" Sehun whispered, I couldn't say anything,

"Damn it Kail answer us! Why?!" Xiumin shouted.

"STOP! I had to do this! I'm not mental. I'm not crazy.." I shouted, muttering the last part.

"D.O go get Baekhyun hyung" Lay whispered to D.O,

"Kyungsoo.." I whispered, he turned around and all of their eyes were on me, "Don't.." I said softly, D.O sighed but nodded,

"Fine. Kail we won't tell the others but you have to promise that your gonna stop"  I nodded instantly.

"So what were you planning on doing? Hiding it from me? Hiding it from the other guys? We are a family. We shouldn't hide anything from eachother. We all care about you Kail. We think of you as our sister. Sehun, Lay, Luhan and I think of you as more."

 ~SEHUN'S P.O.V~

"So what were you planning on doing? Hiding it from me? Hiding it from the other guys? We are a family. We shouldn't hide anything from eachother. We all care about you Kail. We think of you as our sister. Sehun, Lay, Luhan and I think of you as more."

A familiar voice said. We turned around to see Baekhyun and Luhan standing there with sadness imprinted in their eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Lay asked, his eyes wide. Baekhyun just confessed. For all of us.

Luhan and Baekhyun walked up to us. Baekhyun looked at D.O then Xiumin, then Lay, then me. Luhan doing the same.

"The other guys deserve to know. They care about her just as much as we do. We can't hide anything from them." Baekhyun said. 

"I agree with Baek hyung. We cannot hide anything from them, especially something like this." Luhan said holding Kail's wrist,

"Luhan you're hurting me.." Kail whispered.

I walked up to them and yanked Luhan's hand off of hers, "Don't touch her." I said through gritted teeth.

"Sehun it's fine, he didn't mean to" Kail whispered, I know I'm probably over reacting but he hurt her. 

Without knowing, my grip tightened on Luhan's hand and he gasped in pain,

"S-sehun let go" Luhan said, he was never much of a fighter, more of a lover. I sighed and let go of his hand.

"Sehun that was uncalled for." Xiumin said while walking over to Luhan.

"Umin's right Sehun. That was uncalled for. But drop it. Lay hyung, please make sure Luhan hyung's arm is fine and D.O hyung, come with me" Baekhyun said, Xiumin, Lay, Luhan and Baekhyun walked out of the room leaving me with Kail.

"C'mere." I said and pulled her into a hug. I can't believe she'd harm herself.

I put some medicence on her hand and bandaged it.

 "I'm sorry. For everything.." She whispered, I sighed and nodded,

"It's fine Kail. You do not have to say you're sorry." I replied, she let out a yawn and I checked the time, 9:47am. "It's morning but you should take a rest." I whispered.

She nodded and I helped her get into bed, as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out like a light.

I sighed and walked downstairs to see all 11 boys down there already. They all looked at me and I saw sadness on each and every one of their faces. Baekhyun and Luhan hyung must've told them already.

I sighed again. This is gonna be a long day.

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