THE BOAT TRIP: Stampy And Squid

Blown Up

--STAMPYS POV--
"Hello everyone!" Some American said to the camera, "here we have the the one and only Joseph Garrett and David Spencer also known as..."
"Stumpy." I began.
"And chicken nugget." David said.
Somehow this doesn't sound right..
the interviewer just laughed, I wasn't quite sure why so I laughed along with him.
"So Joseph! The whole world is watching you! Anything you want to say?" He asked,
"The whole world? Just looks like one person." I said, "oh wait that's just the camera man!"
"-he means hello," David said.
"Yeah- what chicken nugget said." I replied.
"So- I have some questions from your Facebook page-"
"Oh the Facebook page is all lies- our boss Mr Frawder just makes up random stuff to get more money."
"Sorry?"
"Yeh our boss likes to make up a lot of rubbish." David added, "like those biographies are all fake- but we can re-answer some questions for you if you like?"
"Ooohhhh Kay." The interviewer said awkwardly, "well, you have- well, used to have a rather good looking boss named Courtney, didn't you?"
We nodded,
"Did any of you.. y'know, take a hit?" He laughed,
"Oh I didn't." Dave responded, "but Stumpy did."
"What?! No I didn't!" I snapped quickly,
"Shall we move over this topic quickly?" The interviewer laughed,
"Roger that." David said, smirking.
"Another question is for you, Joseph." He began, "after David being kidnapped by pirates, and all else that's happened to him- is he not the bravest person in the world?"
"I'm not sure if he's the bravest person on our boat." I told him,
"Stumpy's right y'know." Chicken Nugget laughed, "he got his arm bitten by a walrus!"
"It was a shark." I corrected.
"You're a shark." He said.
"What the fuc-"
"So- you've been travelling for over a year now- have you ever fallen out? Had any arguments? You must have surely."
"Yeh two days ago Chicken Nugget had his arm pressed against my throat." I said,
"You deserved it." He replied,
"W-what happened?" The interviewer asked,
"Oh, y'know, he stabbed himself so I sedated him for three weeks." I admitted,
"Understandable? Right?" Chicken Nugget asked,
"I.. guess so, do you mind if I ask if you have been drinking?"
"What?! No.. us?! No.. never! No.. we are dry as lizards! Thirsty as.. thirsty people.." we defended in unison.
"You sure?"
"Sorry, what was the question?" I asked.
"Okay, you two- you are often shipped together, as in, they think you'd be a good couple- what do you think? Ever had a first kiss?" He laughed sarcastically.. chicken Nugget and I didn't quite get that.
"Oh yeh." David began, "we had our first kiss in a gay bar in Spain."
My eyes widened,
"I have no idea what he's talking about! Ha! Ha!"
"And then on our way to New Zealand-"
"AHEM! Next question? Anymore?"
"We got proper into-"
"AHEM! More questions?!" I interrupted,
"Squid.." the interviewer continued,
"SQUID!" David and I both shouted, pointing at each other, "it was on the tip of my tongue! I knew chicken Nugget wasn't right!" I exclaimed,
"Um.. as I was saying," the interviewer continued, laughing, as I snuck a sip of wine, "Squid. You've been with Stampy for over a year, seeing him basically everyday. Is there anything that you've never told him before- any secrets?"
Squid cleared his threat, "well."
He said, "I once had an allergic reaction to an orange."
I shrieked, "oh my god! Did you die?!"
"I.. I can't remember.. i ask mum when I get home." He assured me. The interviewer just started laughing, although this wasn't a laughing matter, Chicken Nugget or.. some kind of Nugget could have died because of an orange.

After we stopped broadcasting I pulled out the wine glass from behind my back and started pouring some wine into my mouth.
"Was that true about your boss?" The man who interviewed us asked,
"True as the sky is blue." David rhymed, confusing us.
"Ill have to report him, you understand."
"Yes!" We whispered with excitement, "i mean.. if it must be done." I added. Taking another sip of wine, getting a fuzzy feeling inside of me.
After the interviewer left David and I looked at each other.
"Well that went well." He said, taking a sip of rosé.
"Wanna go over to the bar?" I offered before the ladies started walking towards us. We looked at each other again ordering "run!"
We both started to casually run up the stairs towards the bar where we both sat down on a bar stool.
"Ooh! Shots!" I greeted, "what's the alcohol percentage?" I asked, I'm guessing 30%
"95 per-cent." The bartender said, My eyes widened and the magnetic forces between the shot glass and my hand attracted each other and before David and I knew it, both our glasses were empty and.. the weird and glamorous ladies were shaking their hips from side to side as they walked up the stairs towards us.
"Are they limping or are they trying to look cool?" David asked, squinting.
"I can't tell, should we call a doctor?"
"I think we should just run away." David said,
"I agree, come on, you can be my partner now." I said, linking my arm with David, and walking away until a camera stepped in our face.
"Wow! Hello!" We greeted in shock.
"Hello Stampy and Squid! Mind if we ask you a few questions?" Someone with a microphone said.
"Not at all, fire away!" David responded, sitting on a bench beside me.
"Well, Squid many girls have been asking what kind of a girl do you like?"
"My fiancé." He responded,
"And Stampy, what kind of girl do you like?"
"David's fiancé." I responded, David gave a horrid look at me.
"Moving on, many people here in New York have noticed that you don't have very American haircuts, what do you say to that?" He asked,
"Well they're very observant as we aren't actually American." I told them, smiling.
"We saw that Stampy was into media and acting- if he drops out of youtube there is a possibility that he will become an actor." He said. I just stayed silent.. thinking.
"-there's also a possibility that he won't." David added, making me laugh.
"And.. final question, how do you approach video making?"
"We normally approach it on the motorway, take a left turn then a sudden right and you're there." David said, at that we felt that we answered their questions fully and left them to it.