castles → lil peep (completed)

Save That Shit

Chapter Four

I don't know how long it's been, an hour or two I guess? All I know is that a soft tapping could be heard on the other side of the bathroom door. I severely wasn't in the mood; I prayed it was T or Horse.

I was wrong, oh so very wrong.

"Hey......."

His annoyed and slightly slurred voice from earlier had turned gentle and smooth. He was at least sober which I had to admit, I appreciated.

"What do you want Gustav?"

I could tell from his sudden intake of breath that he wasn't planning on being full named.

"Can you open the door so we can talk?"

"Why should I? According to you I don't care"

"Please?"

I caved and unlocked the door; trying to hide any evidence that I had been crying......he saw.

"Hey.....have you been crying?"

His hands lightly gripped my shoulders as he studied me.

"It is that obvious?"

I chuckled dryly, trying to avoid his gaze.

"What did I say that upset you so much?"

"You know? It's fine if I don't care then neither should you"

"Would you stop using that against me?"

"No I will not"

I can't believe he expected me to be cool, what did his seriously think I would be like? Sunshine and rainbows??

"Listen, can you stop acting like this? You don't have to be so rude. I'm sorry I hurt you but I would never do it intentionally"

"You wanna know why I'm acting like this and so upset?"

"No I just thought I would ask you for fun"

"All throughout my life, I've literally had no one. I've been to a total of 27 foster homes and had to sell myself to John and help him out with deliveries just to pay the bills for my shitty apartment. But then I met you. In all my life you have been the only one I've ever cared about as much as I do and to hear you say that I didn't couldn't have hurt me more.....got all that?"

He didn't say anything; didn't even show any emotion. Just stared at me like a deer in the headlights but less dramatic.

"You can stand there for fuck knows how long, I'm going to drown my sorrows"

I went to push past him when he gripped my forearm and pulled me into a tight embrace. He stroked my hair and rocked us slowly; somehow knowing exactly what I needed : a good hug and cry.

"I'm so sorry"

He lightly whispered in my ear that sentence over and over again while letting me cry on his shoulder. In this moment I never wanted to let go; all awkwardness had gone and I felt safe in his arms. It was funny though when I saw T walk past, take a double take and slowly back away.

We finally pulled apart after minutes of comforting silence, I was still trying to recover from telling him everything about me accidentally. I had never opened up to someone, especially someone who I had only known for a week.

"If you ever need anyone or anything, you promise you'll always talk to me? Even if I'm not sober"

"I promise Gus"

"Can I ask you what you meant by "selling yourself?""

I looked at the ground in shame as a single tear rolled down my face and joined the others that had fallen on the tiled bathroom floor.

That was all he needed to know.

"Oh my god Em, swear you'll stop!"

"I can't, I won't be able to pay my bills without it"

"You can move in with me, or fuck, I don't know I'll help you in some way. I don't even know how old you are. I don't even care, just save this perfect shit for someone who deserves it okay?"

"I'm 19 and I'm far from perfect"

"Not to me You aren't"

I was about to reply when T came in, who had obviously been listening, and brought us into a group hug.

I barely knew Tracy and he also already meant so much to me.

I love these guys.