castles → lil peep (completed)

Teen Romance

Chapter thirty nine

Even though Gus had fallen asleep surprisingly easily after his break down, I wasn't so lucky. I sat for hours stroking his hair; watching the sun rise and occasionally admiring his beautiful features. I can tell why he does it to me so often, it's so...peaceful observing your partner sleep. Creepy I know.

Mama Horse was the first to wake; it saddened me how little time I've spent with him since this GBC tour began. He wanted to come and say hello but at the sight of Gus' puffy eyes and my tired ones, Horse knew it was best to hand me my tea and leave it at that.

From the back of the bus I could hear more and more members waking up; some still half dead asleep. I looked back down at Gus, seeing his eyes start to flutter open; I honestly thought he would wake later.

"Morning baby, you okay?"

As the sadness started to clear from his eyes, a cheeky but exhausted grin spread across his face.

"Yeah I'm okay, how long have you been up?"

I knew he wouldn't be pleased with me staying up all night, he probably thinks it's his fault.

"I couldn't sleep Gussie but I'm just happy you had a decent night sleep"

"I could feel you stroking my hair"

My cheeks burned up with embarrassment and turned a rosey shade of red.

"I like it, it helped me fall asleep and not feel so alone"

"I just wished you had managed to sleep in a bed, not on the floor"

"I'll be fine, come one we have an interview in 10 minuets"

I had no idea it was so late...and when did the bus stop moving? Guess that's what happens when you spend basically a year on a tour bus.

"Oh we better start getting chan-hold on, what do you mean we?"

He blushed and looked away from my gaze, what had this boy done?

"Gus, what did you do?"

"The interview is for Montreality. It was originally supposed to be just me but seeing as you're here they asked if you wanted to join"

"And you said yes?"

"Please don't be mad"

I lightly giggled at his childlike expression; looking at me like a little puppy with a pout.

"I'm not mad, I just wished you would've told me"

"I have told you"

"Earlier Gustav"

Gus chuckled and wondered over to a pile of bright orange clothes on the floor while I liked the look of his pink turtle neck, leggings and converse. I have no shame in wearing his clothes as much as I did, plus I knew he wouldn't mind.

"Looking good baby girl, you should wear my clothes more"

"I already do Gus"

"True, true, let's go"

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I'm not going to lie, I felt pretty intimidated on set. As soon as the camera starting rolling and the questions starting coming however, I felt rather relaxed. Wasn't as nerve racking as I thought it was going to be. Gus and I had took turns answering questions (which were mostly about our relationship) and with every query, the answer started to revolve around John more and more. I did not want to talk about him, not when it would be posted on the internet.

"During what we now know as your amnesia phase, you tweeted something about remembering a guy named John. Who is he?"

I immediately gripped Gus' hand and concentrated on looking at the floor; after so long it was still a sore spot. I felt stupid as I could feel tears pushing their way through and the urge to leave overwhelmed me.

"John is kind of a sensitive subject, would you mind not asking anything about him?"

"Just tell us the basics and we'll cut out anything you don't want"

I knew these guys were going to be persistent and I knew there was no avoiding it, I was going to have to talk. Mumbling a small 'I'll be back in a minute' I ran to the unisex bathroom and locked the door once I realised no one was in here. I just needed space.

"Baby? It's me, can I come in"

"I'll be out in a sec"

It wasn't a lie, I did in fact leave the restroom before swallowing a handful of Xanax. I could do this if I was at least a little bit high, I know I can. Gus saw straight through my façade and took a few xans himself as he walked me back to set. I know he doesn't like me doing pills because he knows how badly you can get attached...especially if you have issues like we both do.

He was just going to have to deal with it.

Luckily as we sat back down in front of the camera, none of the crew had any idea we did drugs in their bathroom. It sounds worse than it is. The effects took over and I started to feel more relaxed; this wouldn't be so bad.

"So last question, how would you two describe your relationship?"

"Like a teen romance that won't ever end"