castles → lil peep (completed)

I Crash, U Crash

Chapter twenty seven

~Dream~

I could see him, he looked so scared and I bet I did too. Then John came and I knew why we were both feeling the way we were; I couldn't move and Gus was tied down.

That's when I saw the gun.

John, looking at me square in the face put it to Gus' head with a wicked grin on his face. I could hear my self screaming but I knew nothing was coming out. The trigger was pulled.

"GUSTAV!"

~End Of Dream~

"EMILY!"

I sat up to be immediately pulled into Gus' arms; he stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth. It was the thing he did every time I needed comfort....this was one of those times.

When he asked me what was wrong ,only uncontrollable sobs escaped me. He realised this and softly started singing Star Shopping, this boy knew how to calm me down. Soon my sobs stopped and I wiped my eyes, what time was it?

"You okay baby?"

"Yeah, I'm fine just ignore me. Sorry if I woke you"

"You gonna tell me what all that was about?"

"Nah it's fine, just a silly dream"

"Silly? You had a full blown melt down. It can't be silly but if you don't want to talk about it yet that's okay. Just know I'm here for you"

He was about to leave our bedroom when I took a deep breath; I had to tell him.

"You died"

Gus stopped suddenly and turned around before coming and sitting by me again. He gripped my hand tightly and tried to hide the pained expression on his face.

"What?"

"We couldn't move, then John appeared with a gun and made me watch as he shot you in the head"

Without hesitation he embraced me tightly; rubbing my back as he did so. Then Gus scooped me up and took me to the couch and set me down by the window; my favourite spot in the whole apartment. Watching LA at night became a new passion of mine, it was so relaxing.

"You want a blunt baby girl?"

"Yeah pass it over"

The drug filled my lungs and instant relief filled me, all pain and worry left my head. This is what I needed right now, the love of my life and weed. The two things I needed to survive.

I slipped on my vans and leather jacket, I needed some air right now. I needed to go out and breath in the city air, plus it was only 11 so some places would still be open. I grabbed some spare change off the table by the door and shoved it into my pockets, if I needed anything I would be able to get it.

"I'm just getting some air babe, I won't be too long"

"You sure? Do you want me to come with you?"

"Nah I'll be fine, I have my switchblade with me"

"Okay stay safe, I love you"

"I love you"

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*Gus' POV*

It's 4 am and she's not back yet, it's been five hours and nothing. I've debated if I should go out looking for her but Em didn't take her key so if she were to come back she wouldn't be able to get in.

I was about to head out when I heard three slow and rather pathetic knocks on the door. I looked through the peep hole and wasted no time in opening the door.... it was Em. She was crying her eyes out and latched onto me at her first chance, I just wrapped my arms around her.

"I fuck everything up"

"No you don't baby"

"Yes I do, I messed up all my foster homes because I was too fucked up to be taken care of, I messed up the guy who messed me up and now I'm going to mess you up and it's all my fault. No matter how happy I try to be there's always a dark hole in me and -"

"Babe..."

"- I can't shake it off no matter how hard I try -"

"Em..."

"- I just can't seem to stay happy even though I should be and I -"

"Emily!"

She ceased her depressed rambling and looked at me , that's when I noticed one of her eyes were darker than the other and both were slightly bloodshot. What the absolute hell?

"Emily, how are you going to mess me up?"

"I took some things"

Instant worry boiled in my stomach.

"What things?"

"I don't know, some guys said they would make me happy and fix everything so I took all of them"

"All of them? How many did you -"

Before I could finish my question, Em's knees buckled as her eyes rolled back into her head and white froth dribbled down her chin. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

I knew she would be dead by the time we got her to the hospital so I dragged her to the restroom and positioned her limp body over the toilet. I grabbed her toothbrush when an idea popped into my head, it would work but wouldn't be too nice.

"I'm so sorry Em"

I shoved the toothbrush down her throat as firmly but as carefully as I could until she threw up everything. I stood back and held up back hair because I saw Em come out of her unconscious like state and grip the edge. I knew I had to be strong but I couldn't fight back the tears as I saw all types of colourful pills land amongst the vomit.

I counted 36 pills. Some I could tell were Xanax but others were all unrecognisable; some even half dissolved. Em's fucking sick was tinted purple meaning she also did Lean.

What the fuck did she do?