castles → lil peep (completed)

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Chapter forty two

*Gus' POV*

I didn't know what hurt more, my head or my stomach. An all too familiar beeping and clinical smell hit me as I opened my eyes; Okay my head definitely hurt most. I looked around and saw some of Em's things on a table, but no Em.

As I was sitting up, trying to ignore the horrible pain in my abdomen when I saw Em walk in, clearly not seeing I was awake. She was holding what I guess was coffee while looking at the floor with puffy eyes.

"Hey...."

The coffee immediately hit the floor as Em slowly lifted her head up to look me in the eyes. At the sight of me she gasped and froze on the spot, transfixed on the spot with eyes almost popping out of her head.

I could feel myself begin to cry, I didn't really remember what happened but I knew what led up to me being here and I felt ashamed. I shouldn't have given in and because I was weak I almost died; it would've destroyed Em.

"Come here baby"

She did as I requested and ran into my open arms, still wearing what I last saw her in. How long have I been here? I didn't dwell on it though, I just held Em as we cried into each other. We eventually calmed down and she pulled the plastic chair as close as she could to my bed.

"So, you gonna tell me how you got ahold of pills laced with Fentanyl?"

My eyes widened; I never really considered why I was here, I just assumed why.

"Fentanyl? The xans I took were laced with fentanyl?"

"Who gave them to you?"

"It doesn't matter....."

"Of course it matters Gus, you almost died. I don't think you quite understand what that really means"

"Babe, it really doesn't matt-"

"JUST TELL ME GODDAM IT!"

I was stunned, Em has never seemed so angry and distressed.

"I LOVE YOU GUSTAV AND IM NOT NOT GOING TO LET YOU BRUSH THIS OVER"

"I only wanted weed but Ned told me he had some 'special shit' and that he wasn't going to take no for an answer"

"Mackned? Oh my god"

"Please don't be mad at him, I'm positive he didn't know"

"I'm so happy you're alive"

"I'm happy I'm alive too"

"Liza, Oskar and Emma are coming down. They should be here soon"

"Yay mama!"

We burst out laughing, forgetting where we were and why; just being together in the moment. I could see the worry drift out of her mind as she realised that everything was okay. I was alive, safe and most importantly happy; nothings was going to happen. I couldn't help but think what would've happened if I had passed, it was a dark thought but I couldn't get it out of my head. I was certain of one thing though,

I was happy I didn't die.

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*Em's POV*

Much to Gus' disappointment, once he was let out of the hospital it was decided that the rest of the tour was to be cancelled. He wasn't happy but could understand where everyone was coming from, we all needed a rest. After throwing out all drugs except from weed, Gus and I booked two tickets to New York; we decided that it would be best if we spent some time with his family for a few weeks and then mine before returning to LA.

Liza was more than happy.

I can't imagine what everything must've been like for her, I couldn't imagine getting a phone call saying that Gus could be dead. Even though it was traumatic I was happy I was there, in a way it meant I didn't have to worry so much. It sounds stupid I know.

The two of us were currently on a plane out to NY and our hands were intertwined and we watched this shitty movie Gus had stupidly picked. He only picked it because it was bad but it made us laugh so I guess it was worth it. While his eyes were on the mini screen I looked at his promise ring and playing with my own. People don't get promise rings unless they're planning on getting married...did Gus want to get married one day? Did he even believe in marriage?

"I don't"

I looked up at him confused when it hit me I had said the last bit out loud. Fucking idiot.

"I can't see us getting married but I do see us staying together forever. I hope that's okay"

"You can chill babe, I don't believe in marriage; I can't exactly see us standing at the alter"

"Just imagine me being in a full tuxedo and you in a big white dress"

"Maybe we should get married but like in a court house dressed as sponge bob and Patrick"

"Dibs sponge bob!"

We burst out laughing, more like wheezing, as the mental image of the situation popped into our heads. How is it that Gus had only just left the hospital a few hours ago after getting his stomach pumped last week but still managed to laugh? If I were him I would feel shit.

"So now that tour has ended early, you gonna leave GBC?"

"Fuck yeah I am, I need to switch it up and get away from those people"

"I'll be with you Gus, forever and always"

"Forever and always"

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I just want to make it i that I'm not accusing Mackned of anything and do not mean to offend anyone. It's the last theory I've heard about why it happened and thought it would be good to add in.