castles → lil peep (completed)

We Think Too Much

Chapter thirty three

Emma and T were passed out on top of me, Gus was to my left, Goth to my right and Bex was stretched out above me; all of us fully clothed. I would be thankful for that if I wasn't so distracted by my head which felt X10 it's size. I felt like a fucking bobblehead.

A bobblehead that needed to pee.

"Tracy? T? wake up I need to pee"

"Urggggghhh"

"Seriously I will pee on you"

By this time Emma had woken up, looking exactly how I felt.

"Emma help get T off me I need to pee"

"Tracy, move"

We eventually pushed him off the bed and I jumped up to get to the bathroom, well tried to. I ended up crashing into the wall and banging my head. Just what I fucking needed.

"I'm good I'm good"

It hurt like a bitch but I made it to the bathroom at least; that's all I care about. It would have been a peaceful moment if Gus hadn't burst in looking like he's just seen dead body.

"Holy shit are you okay?"

"I'm on the toilet babe, I couldn't be better"

"No I'm serious, are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering me, Gus pulled me up as I was about to wash my hands and took me to the bedroom where Goth and Bex were still asleep. What the fuck was all this about? He turned me around to where I hit my head and, I'm not kidding, there was a big bloody dent.

"Oh shit damn I have a hard head"

Despite my laughter, no one was laughing; just looking at me with concern in their eyes. Okay seriously what's the big deal? If they're worried about the bus I'll pay for the goddam damages.

"You have no idea do you?"

"Okay instead of pointing out the obvious that I don't know, how about you tell me?"

Once again Gus took me by the hand but this time lead me back to the bathroom and pointed to the mirror. I was not expecting what I saw, not at all. Blood was falling down the side of my face, some dried, some fresh. How did I not notice this?

"Oh my god wow"

"I think you might need stitches"

"It's just a bump on the head I'll be fine"

"No babe I'm not joking around, this looks bad"

I looked into his chocolate eyes and was met with nothing but worry and concern. If there's one thing to know about Gus, it's that he doesn't worry unless he needs to; maybe this was serious?

"If it scares you this much, I'll go get it looked at"

"Thank you baby, let's go now"

"You sure? It's pretty darn early and I'm 50% sure that I'm still a bit drunk"

"Yes I'm sure. I don't want you passing out while we're on the highway"

"Awww, does the famous peep care?"

He chuckled lightly at my friendly mocking; wrapping his arms arms around my waist and putting his forehead on mine.

"Of course I care, I love you baby girl"

I didn't know what to say, it's moments like this where it hit me how much this one human being cared about me. I don't deserve any of this and yet I still have it; it's crazy.

"This must be killing your back"

Everyone burst out laughing and Gus just shook his head and pecked my nose. Who needs family when you have people like these?

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Gus and I had just arrived at the hospital where we were waiting for the nurse to give me my results. I knew it was nothing, I could feel it but despite his brave face I saw that he thought otherwise.

Nurse Jones blessed us with his presence and I could feel my body tensing like it always does when a male staff member was around me in a hospital. I couldn't help it even if I tried, not after everything.

"It seems that you just had a minor concussion from your fall"

I nudged Gus and stuck my tongue out at him.

"See? I told you it was nothing"

"Oh don't be mistaken Miss, if a concussion isn't treated by a professional it can lead to many bigger issues. Some being fatal"

This time Gus nudged me and stuck his tongue out.

"This young man, who I presume is your boyfriend, was right to bring you in when he did. Any time later and it would've led to some sever complications"

After one last check up we were dismissed by the nurse and we left hand in hand. We need to paint our nails again.

"Next time you get hurt, remind me to never listen to you when you say you're okay"

"Next time you get doped up, remind me to never believe you when you say you're not high"

"Touché"

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that but what do you mean?"

"With GBC?"

Gus immediately rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away from mine....ouch.

"Can you drop that? I don't want to talk about it"

"Baby, you can't ignore it forever"

"Well I'm going to anyway"

"Gus, what they're saying to you is not right and a bunch of bullshit"

"Just leave it"

"No Gustav, I'm not going to stand by and watch you get beaten down everyday"

"Don't you see? I deserve this Emily"

"How do you deserve this?"

Gus stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me straight in the eye.

"Because after getting the opportunity to achieve my wildest dreams with the perfect girl by my side, I'm still fucking suicidal. So yes, I do deserve that shit treatment for being so fucking ungrateful"

He stormed off, leaving me confused and upset; he was suicidal? I mean I knew he used to be but I didn't think he was anymore. By the time I continued after him, Gus was way out of sight so I basically ran to the bus in hopes he was there.

I flew onto the bus and counted the faces I could see; no Gus to be seen.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Gus here?"

"No I thought he was with you"

Oh fuck.