castles → lil peep (completed)

Let Me Bleed

Chapter fifty

"Hey Mamma"

Liza looked between the three of us on her porch, it having been only two days since we were last here; except this time we had a 10 year old with us.

"What are you kids doing here.......with an actual kid?"

"Gus, why don't you show Eddie to his room while I talk to auntie Liza?"

As the boys headed downstairs I sat Liza down the couch and told her the whole story, not leaving out any details. The more into the tale I got the more her shocked face paled; tears welling up in her eyes as I got to the thick of it.

"Oh my, that boy has been though so much"

I looked down at my lap, letting my own tears fall.

"Gus and I can barely look after ourselves, how are we supposed to take care of a pre teen as well?"

"Hunny, you two will do great at making sure Edward gets exactly what he needs...........but if you guys really struggle, he can always stay here with me"

"Are you sure Liza?"

"I have the time, space and money. Edward seems like a lovely boy as well; it would be an honour"

I pounced on her like the flash, bear-hugging her as hard as I could.

"Thank you so much Liza"

"It's okay Sweetie, I'll start preparing lunch while you go talk to him"

I headed upstairs, knowing the house's layout off by heart, and followed the sound of laughter. This conversation was going to be hard, I had to consult Gus first too as well. Shit.

"Gus? Can I talk to you in private?"

He stopped helping Ed unpack and came over to me, I pulled him into the nearest room and prepared myself for ridicule.

"I've been thinking......about this Edward situation"

"Honestly so have I, you go first though because I don't want to say the wrong thing"

"Your Ma has offered to look after Eddie herself...and I don't think it's a bad idea. Gus we only just started taking care of ourselves, I don't want us to fuck up a 10 year old"

"Baby, deep breaths okay? I totally agree with you"

"We should go tell him, I hope he understands"

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Yesterday, when Gus and I explained to Edward he wouldn't be leaving Long Island but we would be  (eventually at least), he did cry a little but definitely understood why. Liza and him were currently out and about town so they could get to know each other; we stayed home though.

Gus' somewhere downstairs doing something, probably watching Scooby Doo while eating Doritos or Pringles; bloody child. As for me I was in the shower, my hope and happiness disappearing quicker than the water going down the drain. I didn't think I would experience another episode so soon, especially since I'm back with Gus; thoughts came back quicker than ever and these were some of the worst I've ever had.

My head started to spin rapidly and my vision blurred; that was nothing compared to the alien urges that filled my mind. I felt alone, like I was other only person in the galaxy; it was a horrible feeling.

I prayed it wouldn't last long.

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*Gus' POV*

Was I in 2008? Because I can't remember the last time I sat at home, on the couch, eating Pringles and rewatching my favourite episode of Scooby. It felt fucking glad to kick back and relax...it would be better if I had my girl with me. Thinking about it, Em's been in the shower an awful long time.

Speak of the devil.

She came wondering in wearing a plain black tracksuit and a lost expression; my grin being wiped off immediately.

"What's wrong baby?"

Without answering she broke down there and then, scarring the absolute shit out of me. Throwing my snacks aside, I jumped up and ran over to her; the minute I made contact with her Em flinched and backed away.

"What's going on? Babe you're scarring me"

"I-I-I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? Em what did you do?"

"I only meant to do one or two, just to feel some control......."

Somehow my eye brows furrowed even more when I suddenly started to figure out what was going on. Tracksuit, flinching at my touch, look of shame...please tell me she didn't.

"You didn't baby......"

"I'm so so so sorry Gussie"

I slowly lifted up her sleeve and almost vomited at the sight; her entire arm was covered in fresh slits. The more sleeves I rolled up the more cuts I saw, arms, legs, thighs, even shoulders. My poor baby what did you do?

"Em baby, why? Why would you do this?"

"I wanted some control, these feelings I can't take it I can't handle them"

Where the hell was all this coming from? How long has she been feeling this way? Was it my fault?

"It's okay baby, everything's going to be alright"

Em fell into my arms as i cradled her on the floor, I didn't know what was going on but I wasn't going to let her fight it alone. She was going to get everything she needed, everyone she needed for her to be herself again.